I went to see a friend off at one of the lorry stations or parks in the capital. A young woman was carrying a toddler; definitely her own child. A young man, probably a student in one of the senior high schools was munching what looked like a candy. This toddler stretched her hand in demand of the candy and the mother slapped her arm so hard that the little tot screamed in agony.

It took a lot of coaxing for the girl to stop crying, and the student went to buy another candy for her. This mother’s action drew a lot of condemnation from those around. When she was questioned, all she could say was that she didn’t want to encourage her child asking things from strangers. How would a toddler, barely two years old, understand this?

Whatever catches a child’s fancy, they want to possess. Some are likely to throw tantrums if they don’t get it. In children’s estimation, they own everything around them. Some kids will naturally run away from strangers, even if that stranger has what looks like their favourite toy. But others accept strangers with open arms.

You might have noticed parents beating their little children in order to stop them from crying unnecessarily. My question is: which child keeps quiet just for being whipped? It never happens, because children are not immune to pain from beatings.

There are many children in my neighbourhood; very interesting children. Their ages range between 18 months and six or seven. It is difficult to determine their ages these days unless they live in your house. A few months ago, while some adults looked on as these children were playing, one four-year-old told her playmates that she had been seeing her parents wrestling in their bed with no clothes on. What do my readers make of this?

The child, in her innocence, was only reporting what she saw; nothing more. Whatever wrestling match she saw meant nothing to her, but parents must be mindful of the fact that children, no matter how young, have a very keen sense of observation even if they cannot and do not process what they see as adults are wont to do.

Another one told her mates that her mother grew beard on her genitals. I guess every mother has a particular name for the genitalia the children know. What the little tot was referring to was the mother’s tuft of pubic hair. And because the father had a beard on his chin, her mother’s was elsewhere and she wanted her mates to know that. That’s how simple and uncomplicated a child’s world is. Children have very little or no appreciation of anything that goes on around them.

My two-year-old grandson spills a malt drink on the cushion and his mother screams at him. He gets frightened alright and rushes to me to be cuddled. After a few moments he is back demanding to be given the rest of the malt drink from the mother. It is difficult for some parents to come to terms with the fact that children are just who they are; children.

A couple of years ago, my daughter called me one morning for our usual chat. During the conversation, she told me her eldest daughter wanted to talk to me. She gave her the phone and all my granddaughter asked was, “Grandpa, when will you die?” I heard my daughter shout at her not to ask just a silly question. She took the phone from the little girl and tried to apologise to me for her daughter’s effrontery.

Honestly, if I had asked my parents that question at that age back in the day I would have been accused of being a witch (or wizard) incarnate. Adzevi would have been the right description. Even majority of parents in our parts in this day and age will not take kindly to this question from an impetuous child. Who born dog? All hell would have broken loose. Born-again parents would have taken this child to their pastors for deliverance.Deliverance because of a simple, innocent and inquisitive child’s question?

I asked my daughter to give the phone back to her child. I asked her if she was present at her own birth. She said no. Did she know when she was born? She mentioned the date. How did she know? Her mother told her was her response. She gave very honest answers to my questions. I knew I got her attention, so I went on, “You see, you just said you were told those things by your Mom. What it means is that we never know when we are born until our parents tell us.

“That is how God works. We do not know when we are born, so we do not know when we will die. The decision is God’s as to when He calls us back to where we came from. Do you understand now?” She said she understood and I asked if she had any other question relating to dying. She had none, so I asked her to give the phone back to her mother. I reported our conversation to her and asked her not to dismiss questions children ask outright.

When my grandchildren came visiting on my birthday in January, I raised the issue but my granddaughter did not remember she had ever asked me that question. Children are naturally very inquisitive. Just after about five years, she had forgotten a question she had asked while younger.

Another child who referred to a cripple as an animal because he saw that the person was walking on all fours was so severely beaten that he fell asleep while still crying. How does a child understand these things, one may ask? And the little tot would not understand why he was beaten. Children must be allowed to express themselves freely. What parents must understand is that children say things they see. Therefore, it behoves parents to determine what is right or wrong for their children to be exposed to. Just do not do what your own child will report to her playmates that turns to embarrass you. What children say or do mirrors the way we live in our homes and the immediate environment.

More often than not, adults think children should understand what we understand. They must see what we see. we easily forget that we were once like them; perhaps behaved worse. A mother beats up a child for demanding food she doesn’t have money to afford. Children do not care whether we have the resources to take care of them. They should not, actually. All they want is to play and eat and sleep. Deprive a child of these and your ceiling will come down.

Writer’s email:

akofa45@yahoo.com