Obaa Yaa
I love him and his child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We met in church and have since become very close to the extent that people refer to us as siblings. Though we stay far from each other, we make time to meet at the least opportunity during the day.
With time, l got to know that he has a child with a lady but has not married her due to the threats he had received from her parents.
He told me he had lost interest in the lady because of the sudden change in her behaviour.
What made matters worse was that her parents said they would not allow me to marry their daughter because l was poor and she would suffer if l married her.
Though matters had gone this way, he loved this lady and they often talked about their child. The two of us have decided not to indulge in sex throughout the period of our courtship and thank God we have kept to this promise.
We enjoyed the best of life, no quarrels and we always tried to patch up any misunderstanding between us.
My fear is that since l have not received any confirmation from him, don’t you think he can possibly go back for this girl, since they have a child?
Mary, Accra.
Dear Mary,
I think you have met a good young man who can support you as a reliable husband.
Judging from what you have said about the two former lovers, the possibility of the two coming together is great.
Secondly, the young man’s fortune could change to pave the way for re-marriage. Should this happen, you have nothing to lose because you have played it safe by not indulging in sex, which could probably cloud your ability to take the right decision.
This lady could easily convince people that you have forcefully taken her husband from her.
You could be jumping before the horse, therefore, control yourself and see how things will unfold as time goes by.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
*****************************************************************************************
Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
***************************************************************************************
Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
