Obaa Yaa
I intend to quit marriage
He was a devout Christian who carried out his activities with zeal and to the admiration of the lecturers and students in the institute.
Without mincing words, l developed deep love for him and wished l could be his special friend to make me stand tall among the rest of the female students.
In school, other students discussed their liking for this senior of ours and there was not a single person who said anything bad about his character.
As fate would have it, this student lost his school Identification Card and the message went round but it could not be found anywhere.
I went home to pick up provisions my parents bought for me when my mother showed me an ID card that had been found in town and enquired from me if l could trace the owner in my school.
I screamed the loudest to inform my mother that the owner was one of our school mates. This discovery marked the beginning of our friendship which lasted three years without any misunderstanding between us.
I receive his call one afternoon that he would like to accompany me to the house after close of work. Shortly after he had arrived in my office, there came a downpour which lasted more than four hours and claimed many lives.
Terrified by the havoc the rain had caused and the fear of the unknown, he suggested that l should spend the night in his apartment for my safety.
Unfortunately, in the night, he could not hold unto his moral principles while l also gave in suddenly to his sexual demands. l got pregnant, became sick in the process and had to pass through series of challenges.
Terrified initially, he later came to perform the marriage rites and promised to follow up with wedding when conditions improved.
Surprisingly, his character has changed after l was delivered of my child. He has refused to support me in any way and failed to heed my calls to assist in educating the child.
I was shocked to the marrow to discover that my husband has a three-year-old male child and he pays frequent visits to the family.
In shame, he has confirmed the story after l had provided further details.
I am taken aback by this new development and contemplating ending the marriage.
Will l be right in carrying out this plan?
Akua.
Dear Akua,
You should be worried about how this ‘angel’ of yours who you cherished in the past has transformed, the circumstances under which you got pregnant and why he is treating you like this.
Kindly remain calm and maintain your life in the modest way possible. It is likely that he is passing through inexplicable challenges and should be given sometime to straighten up his life.
It is too early to throw in the towel. Time will definitely tell.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
