Obaa Yaa

I am in a state of dilemma

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My name is Owusu and I am 35- years -old while my wife is 30 years. We have been married for five years but been together for seven years. We have two children together and they are doing so well in their academics.

My company had a conference at a hotel in Kumasi and four of us from my department were selected to represent the company.

During lunch, I decided to take a stroll and enjoy the scenery around the hotel since it’s my first time there.

As I strolled around, I was shocked to see my wife step out of a car with a young man. They started walking towards the reception of the hotel. The man placed his arms around her waist and they seemed to be enjoying each other’s company.

I froze and felt bad. I wanted to shout and approach them but when I opened my mouth, no words came out and my feet were too heavy to drag. I just watched them in awe as they checked in at the reception and disappeared from my sight.

I am in my mother’s house now, I do not know how I will face her if I eventually go home. I told her my mom needs help with a few things at the house so I will lend a helping hand and also sleep over. I haven’t told anyone but my mom suspects that something is wrong.

I am down right now, my marriage and home seem to be coming to an end. Please what should I do?

Sakyi, Adenta.

Dear Sakyi,

**********

I understand how you feel and I plead with you to continue to be patient with your wife.

Please try and go home to have a word with her concerning the incident you saw.

Give her the benefit of doubt to explain what she was exactly doing there at that time with the man.

I am pleading with you to give her a second chance but most importantly, kindly inform her parents about it to talk to her.

You can seek the help of a professional counselor and go for therapies with her.

However, if you are not comfortable staying with her, please part ways with her peacefully. You can co-parent your daughter.

Obaa Yaa

Let’s protect the girl child

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.

I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.

I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.

What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.

Araba,

Takoradi.

Dear Araba,

YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.

Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.

With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.

Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.

Obaa Yaa

My mum wants me to end my relationship

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.

I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.

When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.

Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.

I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.

The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.

My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?

Efe, Mallam.

*****

Dear Isaac,

Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.

You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.

This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.

Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.