Obaa Yaa
Husband impregnates house-help, wife adopts child
Dear ObaaYaa,
There is a common saying that life is how you make it, and that tolerance and sobriety are qualities which will propel one to surmount difficulties in life.
I thought it wise to write to this column to sound a word of caution or to advise young ladies who married or up-and-coming ladies are contemplating to marry.
We got married and with time had to arrange for a house help because there was the need for an additional hand to assist in taking care of the children.
In no time, our zealous house help attracted the attention and love of everyone in the house and this has given me the assurance that she will possibly spend many years with us.
Having spent two years in the family, one morning, l discovered in her signs of pregnancy. From that time till evening, I took time to observe her critically and eventually confirmed that she was really pregnant.
Afraid of the implications involved with pregnancy and the reactions of her parents, l enquired from her who was responsible for the pregnancy.
I was shocked to the marrow when she mentioned my husband’s name as the one responsible for her pregnancy.
I hurried to the bedroom to verify from my husband what the house help had told me, but he denied that he had nothing to do with her pregnancy and that the lady must be joking.
Though l was enraged in general and the answer he had provided, the obvious question l asked him was “Why should this lady mention my husband’s name and no other man either in the house or in the vicinity?”
However, judging from my husband’s demeanour, l had the conviction that he impregnated our house help.
I took pains to provide our house help with the necessary assistance and the items she needed throughout her period of pregnancy until she was delivered of her baby.
It is quite surprising to note that his child resembles my two children.
Thereafter, l decided to take care of the child, compensated her and asked her to leave the house for good since her continued stay could probably result in another problem.
So this is my piece of advice to the young ones.
Akos, Kumasi.
Dear Akos,
This column would like to praise you for the display of wisdom by which you were able to calm a seemingly volatile situation in your family.
Your marriage would have disintegrated and the children disorganised if you had left your matrimonial home.
More importantly, sharing this wonderful example for others to emulate gladdens my heart that people in dilemma will learn useful lessons from this. It takes women of substance and good character to overcome such problems in their marriages. The world will continue to sing the praises of your calibre.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
