Obaa Yaa
He wants me to be his cousin
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I got married shortly after we completed senior high school. My mother then bought a ticket for him to go abroad where he went and stayed with my brother.
He went through some kind of marriage over there in order to get a good job, or so he said, and he asked me to be patient.
A few weeks ago, my husband wrote to say that he was coming home with his wife, and that I should pretend to be a cousin. I also heard they have a child.
I can’t do what he wants me to, even though everyone, including my mother thinks I should.
And I don’t want to be his wife only when he comes home. I want to join him over there because that was the arrangement.
Akweley, Accra
Dear Akweley,
Don’t let anyone force you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. If you can’t pretend, then don’t try.When you meet your husband, it is important to let him know how you feel about the arrangement.
And you will have to come to an agreement as to whether or not you want to continue with your marriage.
Whatever decision you come up to will not be easy for you, but do make sure that it is what is best for you.
• Kwabena kwabena in
Obaa Yaa
What happened
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
Obaa Yaa
My father claims he was cursed
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.




