Obaa Yaa
He is seeing another Woman
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 25 years old and married to a 35-year old man. We had a baby boy after three years of marriage. When the baby was two-year old, my husband started cheating on me. I am financially supportive in the family and earn more than him.
Recently he asked me to support him to further his education. After a year in school, he started giving me attitude but I kept it cool. He denied me sex and started coming home late.
I reported his conduct to his parents who later advised him, but he did not listen. I later had a tip off that my husband was flirting with another woman in his class.
He left home for about a year without telling me his whereabout. My problem is the same man who stayed for a year is now pleading that I take him back.
Meanwhile, I have a man who has proposed to marry me. What should I do?
Erica, Kyebi
Dear Erica,
You must be commended for your willingness to support your husband in diverse ways, including helping him to further his education.
It is sad to note that despite your efforts to make the marriage work, he suddenly put up an appalling attitude which is not healthy for a successful marriage.
You did well by reporting him to his parents although he was adamant.
Having multiple partners and going to the extent of denying you sex for a long period of time means he does not respect you. It is obvious he is no longer interested in the marriage.
His plea for acceptance is a camouflage.
Since someone has shown interest in you, why not accept to marry him.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
