Obaa Yaa
He is seeing another Woman
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 25 years old and married to a 35-year old man. We had a baby boy after three years of marriage. When the baby was two-year old, my husband started cheating on me. I am financially supportive in the family and earn more than him.
Recently he asked me to support him to further his education. After a year in school, he started giving me attitude but I kept it cool. He denied me sex and started coming home late.
I reported his conduct to his parents who later advised him, but he did not listen. I later had a tip off that my husband was flirting with another woman in his class.
He left home for about a year without telling me his whereabout. My problem is the same man who stayed for a year is now pleading that I take him back.
Meanwhile, I have a man who has proposed to marry me. What should I do?
Erica, Kyebi
Dear Erica,
You must be commended for your willingness to support your husband in diverse ways, including helping him to further his education.
It is sad to note that despite your efforts to make the marriage work, he suddenly put up an appalling attitude which is not healthy for a successful marriage.
You did well by reporting him to his parents although he was adamant.
Having multiple partners and going to the extent of denying you sex for a long period of time means he does not respect you. It is obvious he is no longer interested in the marriage.
His plea for acceptance is a camouflage.
Since someone has shown interest in you, why not accept to marry him.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
