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Obaa Yaa

He is chasing my girl

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been lovers for a little over one year and l have realised that a friend of mine is chasing my girl. However, when l asked her about it, she denied it and said my information was inaccurate. I love her and cannot leave her.

Though l am troubled in my heart, l have not yet asked the boy any question. What step should l take?

Kofi Oppong, Accra

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Dear Kofi,

Issues pertaining to relationships are fraught with challenges which vary from one individual to the other. It, therefore, takes diplomacy, tactfulness, and clear-headedness to overcome certain challenges in life.

You are fortunate to discover within one year that there is someone chasing your girl friend.

Though, by instinct you must be disturbed, you should rather try to find out whether your girl friend has another lover apart from you.

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Secondly, you must try to establish whether the two of them had been in a relationship more than one year, which should suggest that they are old lovers. Additionally, to avert serious confrontation, there is no need to ask the gentleman any question.

If it is true, then you must be considered the person interfering in their friendship not the gentleman as you think. The earlier you quit this relationship, the better it will be for you.

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Obaa Yaa

 I don’t like his dressing

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

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Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sis­ter is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

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The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send sig­nals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

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Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrass­ment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neigh­borhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

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Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

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Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a re­sponsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleep­ing around.

You can also report her be­haviour to your family head to talk to her.

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