Obaa Yaa
He demands l abort pregnancy
Dear ObaaYaa,
We first met at a funeral and fell in love with each other. During the period, he made a lot of promises including his willingness to marry me no matter the obstacles.
I had a miscarriage which nearly caused my life but through the mercy of God, my life has been spared.
Exactly one year after this incident, l got pregnant again but he is demanding l abort the pregnancy because he is not prepared to look after a family. He had told me not to inform my parents that l was pregnant. His insistence that l should abort the pregnancy has resulted in a misunderstanding between us. He has stopped paying me visits and would not call to find out how l am doing. He asked me not to tell my parents that l was pregnant but after three months,my fear is that they will get to know very soon.
I am worried and devastated. What should l do?
Francisca, Accra.
Dear Francisca,
You are not the first person to complain about this and will definitely not be the last. This problem occurs in most relationships and lovers should be aware that so long as they indulge in sex, pregnancy will take place. Since he has called for the tune, he must be prepared to dance according to the music.
Though you have not indicated how old you are, l suggest you disclose this news to your parents. Your parents will be enraged about your behaviour, they must know this so that they can advise you and provide you the needed support.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.