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Good reasons for getting married – Part 2

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Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.
Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.

 3. Marry because you are mature and ready for it in all ways: spiritual, physical, emo­tional, financial, and psychological.

You must understand the need to be ready and mature for marriage. Marriage is a crucial decision that requires careful consideration and preparation. Spiritual maturity means a strong faith and shared beliefs with your partner (Colossians 3:14).

Being physically mature has to do with coming of age, taking care of your body, and being able to support your partner. Emotional maturity im­plies you can manage your emotions and communicate well (Proverbs 15:1).

Financial maturity means being able to provide for your partner and home. It also means being financially stable (Proverbs 21:5). Whereas psy­chological maturity is about knowing yourself and handling life’s challeng­es (Romans 12:2).

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All these factors help you be ready for marriage. They also help you build a strong, lasting relation­ship with your spouse.

The verses above show that a strong relationship with God, self-care, communication, financial re­sponsibility, and personal growth are key to being ready for marriage.

4. Marry to spiritually and physically help each other.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman who choose to share their lives together. Spirituality and physical wellbeing are both essential components of a healthy relationship. Couples can enjoy supporting each other spiritual­ly and physically. Here are some ways to achieve this.

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Spiritual help:

a. Share your spiritual beliefs and practices with each other.

b. Attend church services or religious events together.

c. Pray together.

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d. Discuss spiritual teachings and how they apply to your relation­ship.

e. Encourage each other to live a life of kindness, compassion, and service.

Physical help:

a. Exercise together.

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b. Cook healthy meals and eat together.

c. Take care of each other’s physical needs.

d. Support each other during illnesses.

e. Sleep well and create a healthy sleep routine.

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By supporting each other, couples can grow and strengthen their bond in all aspects of life.

5. Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.

Many believe that everyone has a unique, God-given destiny. It can guide decisions, including whom to marry. Some believe that God has a specific person for each individual. Others believe that God directs and helps them choose wisely.

Ask your marriage counsellor this: Does God have a specific person for me to marry, or can I marry anyone?

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Does God have a specific per­son for me to marry, or can I marry anyone?

Marry based on a combina­tion of reasons. These include com­patibility, love, respect, and shared faith, values, and goals. Also, commit to supporting and caring for each other. It can help to seek advice from a trusted marriage counsellor, family members, or spiritual leaders. Also, reflect on your priorities and dreams before deciding.

Marriage can bring you and your partner closer together. You will share the same values and goals for your future. It can help you solidify your relationship and bring a sense of unity.

6. Marry for a lifelong commit­ment and dedication.

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Marriage is a public declaration of commitment and dedication to each other. It shows that you are serious about your relationship and willing to put in the effort to make it work. Many marry to show their commit­ment and dedication to building a life together.

Marriage can provide a legal and social framework for you and your spouse to share your lives, support each other, and celebrate your suc­cesses. It can also create a sense of stability and security for both of you and any potential children you may have.

Finally, the choice to marry is per­sonal and it should be based on your understanding of marriage and your needs, goals, and values.

To be continued …

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Source: Excerpts from ‘Pre­paring for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite. com/edu-counseling-psych

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCI­ATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)

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Relationship

…tips for building a good parent-teacher relationship

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Having a good relationship with your child’s teacher will make it easier for you to share concerns and work together to help your child thrive. Here are some tips for building a partnership. Here are some tips to help parents build a good relationship with their child’s teacher.

1. Meet with the teacher and staff early

Teachers are usually swamped at the start of the school year. But try to meet as soon as the teacher can. At your first meeting, find out how the teacher prefers to communicate it can be either by phone, email, or some other method.

2. Help the teacher get to know your child.

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Sharing information is key to a good parent-teacher relationship. Tell the teacher about your child’s interests, strengths, and challenges. If your child has an special need, make the teacher a aware, and let the him or her know about situations outside of school that might impact your child’s learning or behaviour.

3. Be respectful of the teacher’s time.

Be on time for appointments, whether they are phone calls, video meetings, or parent-teacher conferences. Try to wrap things up within the allotted time. The teacher may have other parents scheduled after you or other meetings and commitments. You can always set up another call to finish up.

4. Recognise the teacher’s efforts.

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If you are meeting in the classroom, look for displays of students’ work or teaching materials that you can compliment. If you are somewhere else, start things off with a positive statement, like something your child enjoys about the teacher’s class. 

5. Never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child.

Showing your respect for a teacher will set a good example for your child.

6. Participate in school events.

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Take part in school events when possible. This shows that you’re part of the school community and want to be supportive. Offer to volunteer in a way that works for you, whether it’s at school or at home on your own time.

7. Say “thank you.”

Show your appreciation for the big or little things the teacher and other staff do for your child. Thank-you notes and emails can go a long way toward building positive relationships.

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Building trust in relationship, marriage

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Communication is key to a successful relationship

Trust is the glue that holds relationships and marriages together. Without it, even the strongest bonds can crumble. As a couple navigates the ups and downs of life, trust serves as the foundation upon which their love, commitment, and loyalty are built. But what happens when trust is broken?

How can couples work to rebuild and strengthen this essential component of their relationship?

Trust is not just a feeling; it is a choice. It is a decision to be vulnerable, to be open, and to believe in the goodness of your partner. When trust is present, relationships flourish. Communication becomes easier, conflicts are resolved more efficiently, and intimacy deepens. Trust allows couples to feel secure, to know that they can rely on each other through life’s challenges.

Signs of trust issues

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So, how do you know if trust is an issue in your relationship? Look out for these signs:

– Suspicion and jealousy

– Defensiveness and accusations

– Lack of communication or withholding information

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– Dishonesty or hiding the truth

– Emotional distance or disconnection

How to build trust

Fortunately, trust can be built and rebuilt. Here are some practical steps couples can take:

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1. Communicate openly: Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Be honest, transparent, and open with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires in a respectful and empathetic manner.

2. Be reliable: Follow through on your commitments. Show your partner that you are dependable and responsible.

3. Show vulnerability: Be willing to be vulnerable with your partner. Share your fears, hopes, and dreams with them.

4. Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges and resentments. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful behaviour, but rather releasing the negative emotions associated with it.

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5. Cultivate intimacy: Intimacy is not just physical; it’s also emotional. Make time for regular date nights, meaningful conversations, and affectionate gestures.

Rebuilding Trust

If trust has been broken, it is essential to work on rebuilding it. This process takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps to take:

1. Acknowledge the hurt: Recognise the pain caused by the breach of trust. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate their experience.

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2. Identify the cause: Understand the reasons behind the breach of trust. Is it a lack of communication, infidelity, or something else? Identifying the root cause can help you address the issue more effectively.

3. Work together: Rebuilding trust requires a joint effort. Work together to establish new patterns of behaviour, communicate openly, and rebuild intimacy.

4. Seek help: If needed, seek the help of a couples therapist or counsellor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work to rebuild trust. Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) can be helpful in that vein.

Building trust in a relationship or marriage takes work, commitment, and patience. It is a journey that requires effort from both partners. By communicating openly, being reliable, showing vulnerability, practicing forgiveness, and cultivating intimacy, couples can strengthen their bond and build a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. Remember, trust is not something that can be demanded; it is something that must be earned and nurtured. With time, effort, and dedication, couples can build a strong, trusting relationship that brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment to their lives.

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To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI (Lecturer, Published Author, and Marriage Counsellor).

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