Relationship
Essential tips to foster love and respect in your marriage
• Endeavour to achieve your resolutions copy
It’s no surprise that men and women are different. And, we’re not just talking about physical differences. Men and women think differently and find different things relevant to their lives.
Although both men and women value love and respect in marriage, according to marriage therapists, they look at love differently.
To women, they need love to survive. But then, so do men. How they view what love is and how they wish to receive it are very different from each other. One big key to a HYPERLINK “https:// www.marriage.com/advice/ relationship/how-to-build-deep-connections-stay-happy-interview-with-author-kira-asatryan/” happy marriage is understanding that and putting it into practice.
In short, women value love in an emotional sense. Men, however, crave respect.
So, if you have been thinking about ways on how to show respect to your husband or how to show HYPERLINK “https://www.marriage.com/ advice/love/importance-of-love-in-marriage/” love in marriage, look no further.
You are at the right place where you can pick up the language of love and respect as well as learn to show affection and respect to your spouse.
Here are 10 tips to bring more love and respect in marriage, with each person taking note of what the other person values and needs the most.
Show affection
What is love in marriage as far as women are concerned?
For women to feel loved, they need to be shown affection regularly. This is separate from HYPERLINK “https://www.marriage.com/ advice/physical-intimacy/” sex.
She needs hugs, kisses, cuddles, and loving touches. She needs to know that you love her in this way without it having to lead to intimacy every time. It makes her feel valued. And this is how a woman perceives love and respect in marriage.
Give her lots of attention
For women, another definition of love and respect in marriage is attention!
HYPERLINK “https:// www.marriage.com/advice/ relationship/things-women-want-from-their-husbands/” Women want a lot of attention. This can be shown in many ways, and it’s essential to pay attention to what your wife truly needs. Most women view attention as talking.
Husbands need to talk to their wives to show love and respect in marriage. The subject of the talking is less important than the sincerity behind it.
So ask how her day went, show an interest in what she did that day, ask questions about what she thinks about particular issues to express your respect and love in marriage.
Listen without giving advice
Women need your listening ear. Women are smart, capable people. They can figure out their problems pretty well. But they need your encouragement to do so.
If you have been wondering how to show love and respect in marriage, listen instead of trying to solve their problems.
Encourage her in what she feels is right. Validate that what she is feeling is perfectly normal.
Plan alone time, just the two of you
Husbands, your wives crave time with only the two of you together. So, remember that HYPERLINK “https://www.marriage. com/advice/relationship/ ways-to-have-a-quality-time-with-your-partner/” couples time is synonymous with love and respect in marriage for a woman.
During a regular day, she is working, finishing projects, coordinating with co-workers or friends; she is cleaning and organising and taking care of dinner.
Most of her day is spent doing things for other people. After a while, she gets depleted, and she feels completely disconnected from you.
What she wants is to relax and recharge with just you by her side. When she has that regularly—sometimes it needs to be scheduled, perhaps as a HYPERLINK “https://www. huffpost.com/entry/date-night-ideas-for-married-couples_b_1460693” \t “_blank” weekly date together—then she feels like you two are in this together, even though you spend a lot of your days doing separate things.
Relationship
Tips to improve family relationships
There is nothing like family. The people that are related by blood and marriage are expected to be our closest allies, greatest sources of love and support.
Too often, however, interactions with family are filled with misunderstanding and resentment, bickering and badgering.
Here are some tips to help bring family members closer
Take care of your health if you hope to take care of anyone else. The more demanding of your time your family is, the more you need to fit in exercise. Perhaps you and your family can seek out ways to exercise together.
1. Listen if you expect to be heard. Lack of communication is the loudest complaint in most families. The answer to “Why won’t they listen to me?” may be simply “You’re not listening to them.”
2. Teach emotional choice. Manage your moods by letting all feelings be OK, but not all behaviours. Model behavior that respects and encourages the feelings and rights of others yet make it clear that we have a choice about what to do with what we feel.
3. Teach generosity by receiving as well as giving. Giving and receiving are parts of the same loving continuum. If we don’t give, we find it hard to receive, and if we can’t receive, we don’t really have much to give. This is why selflessness carried to extremes is of little benefits to others.
4. Take responsibility for what you communicate silently. The very young and old are especially sensitive to nonverbal cues. More than our words, tone of voice, posture (body language), and facial expressions convey our feelings. We have to listen to our tone of voice and look at ourselves in pictures and in the mirror to assess our emotional congruency. Loving words coming through clenched teeth don’t feel loving—they feel confusing.
5. Don’t try to solve problems for your loved ones. Caring for your family doesn’t mean taking charge of their problems, giving unsolicited advice, or protecting them from their own emotions. Let them know their own strengths and allow them to ask you for what they need.
6. Make a lasting impression through actions. Your values will be communicated by your actions, no matter what you say. Be an example, not a nag.
7. Acknowledge your errors to everyone, including younger family members. Saying you’re sorry when you hurt someone you love, models humility and emotional integrity. You can demonstrate that no one is perfect, but everyone can learn at any age. Apologising proves you can forgive yourself and makes it easier to forgive others.
8. Discover what each person’s unique needs are. You can’t assume that your grandmother needs the same signs of love as your three-year-old or that either one will have the same needs next year. When in doubt, ask!
9. Be generous in expressing love. Everyone in a family (especially young children) needs the emotional reassurance of loving words, gestures, and looks. Those who demand the least emotional attention may need it most.
Relationship
Building trust in relationships and marriages
Trust is the glue that holds relationships and marriages together. Without it, even the strongest bonds can crumble.
As a couple navigates the ups and downs of life, trust serves as the foundation upon which their love, commitment, and loyalty are built. But what happens when trust is broken?
How can couples work to rebuild and strengthen this essential component of their relationship?
Trust is not just a feeling; it is a choice. It is a decision to be vulnerable, to be open, and to believe in the goodness of your partner. When trust is present, relationships flourish.
Communication becomes easier, conflicts are resolved more efficiently, and intimacy deepens. Trust allows couples to feel secure, to know that they can rely on each other through life’s challenges.
Signs of trust issues
So, how do you know if trust is an issue in your relationship? Look out for these signs:
– Suspicion and jealousy
– Defensiveness and accusations
– Lack of communication or withholding information
– Dishonesty or hiding the truth
– Emotional distance or disconnection
How to build trust
Fortunately, trust can be built and rebuilt. Here are some practical steps couples can take:
1. Communicate openly: Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Be honest, transparent, and open with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires in a respectful and empathetic manner.
2. Be reliable: Follow through on your commitments. Show your partner that you are dependable and responsible.
3. Show vulnerability: Be willing to be vulnerable with your partner. Share your fears, hopes, and dreams with them.
4. Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges and resentments. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful behavior, but rather releasing the negative emotions associated with it.
5. Cultivate intimacy: Intimacy is not just physical; it’s also emotional. Make time for regular date nights, meaningful conversations, and affectionate gestures.
Rebuilding trust
If trust has been broken, it is essential to work on rebuilding it. This process takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps to take:
1. Acknowledge the hurt: Recognise the pain caused by the breach of trust. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate their experience.
2. Identify the cause: Understand the reasons behind the breach of trust. Is it a lack of communication, infidelity, or something else? Identifying the root cause can help you address the issue more effectively.
3. Work together: Rebuilding trust requires a joint effort. Work together to establish new patterns of behaviour, communicate openly, and rebuild intimacy.
4. Seek help: If needed, seek the help of a couples therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work to rebuild trust. Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) can be helpful in that vein.
Building trust in a relationship or marriage takes work, commitment, and patience. It is a journey that requires effort from both partners. By communicating openly, being reliable, showing vulnerability, practicing forgiveness, and cultivating intimacy, couples can strengthen their bond and build a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. Remember, trust is not something that can be demanded; it is something that must be earned and nurtured. With time, effort, and dedication, couples can build a strong, trusting relationship that brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment to their lives.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Lecturer, Published Author, and Marriage Counsellor).
