News
‘Don’t transfer marital problems to children’
The Founder of Single Parenting With Purpose (SPWP) (a support group for single parents), Mrs Josephine Alai has said that it is wrong for persons from failed relationships to transfer their bitterness or pain to their children.
She said there was the need for single parents to put aside all differences and make the welfare of their children paramount because the children were innocent as far as the cause of the tension was concerned.
Speaking in an interview with The Spectator on Wednesday, Mrs. Alai who founded the non-profit-making support group for single parents said many children from broken homes were struggling emotionally and psychologically because of the toxic relationship between both parents who had failed in effective co-parenting.
She said it was quite disturbing to note that because parents had not been able to put their past misunderstandings behind them, the children should be denied the opportunity to feel the warmth, love, care, influence and other emotional satisfactions from both parents.
The Founder of the SPWP said it was unfair to make such children pay for the “sins” of their parents.
She observed that some partners were so bitter that they would not allow their child or children to have anything to do with their ex spouses or partners because in their opinion, such closeness would only open up old wounds and so they would rather prefer that there should be no contact between such children and their other parent.
She said from her experience as a person who was a Single Parent for so many years, she thought doing so was the best way out until after a careful thought, she decided to involve the father of her children and their families in their upbringing.
She said that this turned out to do good than harm to the children an herself, and even facilitated her healing process from the broken relationship.
She advised that children should be allowed to bond with their father or mother as long as “it does not compromise their health and safety”.
Mrs. Alai said it was also important for ex spouses or partners to note that having a grudge with your ex did not mean you should not offer emotional or financial support to your child.
She said it was sad that some persons had taken such situations as an easy or convenient way out to shirk their responsibilities only to come back several years later to apologise to the children and ask for re-union.
She advised all single parents to put away enmity or tension but come together to co-parent to plan towards the interest of their children and raise them physically, psychologically, emotionally and make them healthy for a better society.
From Dzifa Tetteh Tay, Tema.
Muslims across the country celebrated this year’s Eid-ul-Adha in a colourful and spiritually uplifting atmosphere under the theme, “A Season of Sacrifice, Solidarity and Spiritual Renewal.”
The celebration brought together Muslims from diverse backgrounds in a remarkable display of faith, unity and cultural heritage.
The occasion was marked by special Eid prayers at various designated grounds, the slaughtering of rams in homes for sharing among family members, friends and the less privileged, as well as musical concerts and recreational activities including horse riding.
Leading the celebration was the Chief Imam, Dr Sheikh Osman Sharubutu.
While the national celebration was held at the Black Star Square where President John Dramani Mahama was the Special Guest of Honour, similar gatherings took place at different centres across the capital and other regions of the country.
A visit by The Spectator to some celebration grounds revealed Muslims, both young and old, elegantly dressed in colourful jalabiya and other Islamic attire, reflecting the rich culture and traditions of the Muslim community.
The celebration also portrayed the spirit of religious tolerance and peaceful coexistence in the country, as a number of Christians joined their Muslim counterparts to mark the occasion.
Muslim leaders and government officials used the opportunity to call on the faithful to uphold the teachings of the Holy Quran, renew their spiritual commitment and refrain from acts capable of undermining the peace, unity and security of the nation.
They further urged Ghanaians to continue to live in harmony and support one another for national development.
By Linda Abrefi Wadie
Dear Obaa Yaa,
During Eid-ul- Adha celebration, I decided to spend the weekend at my boyfriend’s place since we were planning towards our marriage.
To my surprise, what keeps me wide awake, restless and frustrated every single time is that he snores loudly like a generator running on full power, and I genuinely cannot get any rest
At a point, I thought it was just a normal thing, but I have realised it is something he does with ease and doesn’t see anything wrong with it.
When he steps out in the morning, I try to get enough sleep because I may not sleep in the evening.
The most annoying thing is that, he always wants to cuddle me. These two things are a no for me and a red flag.
We are about to get married, what should I do?
Enam, Keta.
Dear Enam,
The snoring and constant cuddling are frustrating, but you don’t have to choose between sleep and closeness.
Start with the snoring: check if it’s worse when he sleeps on his back, cut out alcohol before bed, try nasal strips or a humidifier, and see a doctor if he pauses while breathing.
For quick relief, foam earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones help a lot.
Separate blankets, a bigger bed, or sleeping apart on some nights often makes couples rest well and feel closer overall.
Bring this up before the wedding .Tell him you want to wake up next to him for years to come, but sleep deprivation makes you both miserable.
Test earplugs and side-sleeping this weekend, and if it’s still unbearable, bring in a doctor. Good sleep matters more for your marriage than staying glued together all night.
