Features
Churches on wheels

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Easter is due! Jesus will die on the cross and be buried in the tomb from where he will resurrect after three days and people who see will think he is ‘Madam High Heels.’
His death and resurrection are of much significance to Christians but people consider it little more than an ecclesiastical drama that was staged in Golgotha during which Jesus was nailed on the cross. Many even do not believe the Lord once lived.
But believe it or not before his death, he lived in the era of Caiaphas and Pontius Pilate who were in charge of religious and secular affairs and who contributed to the successful mis-trial and murdering of Jesus.
The significance here is not his death but his blood which was supposed to save those who believe in the Son of Man. It is for this reason that for Christians, Easter should be a solemn occasion when sinful man must supplicate to the Lord and reunite with Him.
However, in general terms, this is not so. Easter is seen as being synonymous with picnics, swinging on the mountains where old girlfriends are met and new ones impregnated.
It is also an occasion when new dance styles from the capital are outdoored when Amakye Dede is on stage. And it is normally during Easter that people dance as if they were fighting, perhaps with the devil.
FOOTING THE BILLS
Now coming to think of it, devoted Christians must be commended for keeping the flame of the Christian religion burning. At the school parks at night, you are likely to see them vibrating with energy and reverberating in tongues, praying for everybody and the nation so that guinea fowls will stop causing civil wars.
And if you are not aware, such Christians in fact flow in the spirit and when they dance, it is by way of the spirit such that the steps they take are heavenly-inspired.
Most often, you’ll also meet them preaching the good news to the jobless, reassuring them that there is fuller life in heaven where food is free and there is no electricity and water bills to be paid. God foots all bills.
And after every preaching session, they demand ‘chop money’ from those who hear the word. There is nothing wrong with that if the preachers are full-time Evangelists because the Bible stipulates that they must be catered for by the church. But I am against those who are not full time clergymen but go out to preach only when they are broke. They must repent!
Now how do they preach and where? Sometimes it is at dawn so that people can be sufficiently disturbed to wake up and hear that news that would save them. And those who are fornicating at the moment can be delivered.
“We are from so-and-so gospel ministry. Our mission is to bring the good news to your doorstep. It is free; you pay nothing for it. However, there is one condition. Stop whatever you are doing now and listen intently, for your salvation depends on whatever you hear from us this morning.
“If you’ve joined forces with the opposite sex at this moment, I command you in the name of Elijah to disengage. It is only then that you can listen to the gospel and be saved. Halleluyah!”
Now preaching the good news at dawn or at lorry parks is not irritating to people as delivering the gospel on moving vehicles. At the lorry parks for instance, it is only those who are interested who will come around and listen and be blessed. You have no problem with those who want to remain ‘sinners.’
On the other hand, those who organise churches and conventions on passenger buses and force passengers to listen may have good intentions at the wrong place.
First, it is not fair to preach your religion in a bus that has different religions. And those people of other faiths do not want anybody to impose his beliefs on them, no matter how laudable such belief might be. They are entitled to a peaceful ride to their destination and should not be disturbed.
I remember somewhere in the mid-eighties when I was travelling on a bus on which an evangelist was preaching. At the end of it, he asked everybody to shake hands with the person sitting next to him. Unfortunately for me I was sitting between two Alhaji’s who found the entire session irritating. And I was to shake them by hand.
But first I had to make sure they were also prepared to shake hands with me. So I looked into the eyes of the one on the left and realised that he was fuming and ready to explode if detonated. Upon close look study of his visage, I saw that he was also twitching his moustache. I wondered whether I was safe.
SHAKING OF HANDS
Looking into the face of the other, I got horrified by what I saw. He was opening and closing his eyes at me like a maniac. I wanted to ask him whether he was normal but quickly decided against it for fear that he’d break my jaw. If I had insured my jaw, I would have risked it, but I wasn’t covered.
As it were, I raised my head a bit and lowered it down coolly as the bus sped on. I guess the Evangelist didn’t see the expression on the faces of the Alhajis. If he had, he would have apologised for organising a Christian sermon for Christians, Moslems, Buddhists, Krishnas, and forcing them to shake hands.
In fact, when these Alhajis alighted at Nima Police Station and were going away, one of them said a sentence which I heard the word ‘walahi.’ Lucky me.
Preaching on buses is also not good because the driver’s attention is distracted. He might even join singing the chorus and unconsciously try to dance alongside. Before he realises that he is not in a church room, it is too late, Obituary!
Deaths on our roads have often occurred because drivers merely want to change a cassette they are playing which meant their attention was distracted for just a few seconds.
I think a law must be put in place to stop evangelists from preaching on moving vehicles. Passenger vehicles must not be turned into church rooms. They can still convert people at the lorry parks if they choose to.
If Moslems, Krishnas, Bahais, Buddhists, Shinotoists and all others also want to use moving vehicles to spread their respective ‘gospels,’ how would it be like in Sikaman?
Features
International character of Ghanaman and more

The average modern Gold Coaster born and bred in Sikaman is an adventurous creature. Go to any part of the world and you’ll find Ghanaman diligently slugging it out either in the snow or in hot sweltering weather, earning a decent living.
Go to Guinea and see Ghanaman in the garb of a herbalist, curing the sick of various ailments. He makes the Guinean understand that not all diseases are caused by James Lucifer alias Jimmy Satan. On the contrary, most diseases are caused by kooko which can even attack the human nose and turn it upside down.
That kooko is also the cause of poverty and the internal bleeding of personal back-pocket economies. And that kooko can be cured using the chemistry underlying Sikaman herbal medicine which has been blessed by the gods of Larteh.
And before Ghanaman starts dispensing his herbal concoctions, he must attract the passing crowd with some Sıkaman-originated choreography, akin to a combination of adowa and agbadza, such that the dancer can easily dislocate a shoulder and start crying for his mother.
When the crowd is enough to form a quorum, Ghanaman must perform magic as a side-attraction, and proceed to sell his drugs. The drugs are genuinely made from potent herbs which the Pharmacy Board of Sikaman says it has no confidence in. Believe me, Ghanaian herbalists are practising in neighbouring countries like Guinea, Cote d’Ivoire, Sierra Leone and Benin, while we are discouraging them from practising in Sikaman.
Go to Las Palmas and see Ghanaman as a fisherman. He sails on Korean-owned boats and is forced to eat garlic and raw tuna for radiant health. The garlic is also supposed to protect him against witches. But sometimes, he is not good bedfellows with some Korean crew members, and once in a while a fight breaks out.
The typical Korean is a Kung Fu expert and before displaying a golden dragon data. He must first terrify Ghanaman with a Korean dance which consists of wild arms and leg throwing. But Ghanaman is usually not daunted. Why has he been eating cancer kenkey all years without developing cancer? It mean is a superhuman capable of countering Kun fu side-kicks to the ribs.
Anyhow Ghanaman’s most potent arsenal lies in his fists. If he is a southpaw, it mean left fist is probably insured and can cause damage. When Ghanaman lands a cassava blow and it lands on a Korean chest, it has the effect of a cruise missile. If there is no ceasefire a funeral cannot be ruled out.
Greenland
Go to Alaska and find Ghanaman there. Greenland, Iceland, Brazil, Argentina, Madagascar, everywhere and you’ll find him. He has become an international citizen and is generally lauded for his hardwork, sincerity and honesty.
However, some bad nuts are also condemned and despised.
The world and all its parts and corners are for the human race, and anyone can choose to live anywhere and earn a decent living so long as he doesn’t misconduct himself or become a social misfit and a law unto himself.
Sıkaman for instance accepts foreigners, and we are so liberal that people just come in through our borders and we welcome them with the best palmwine in town and goat light soup. Who cares about passports and visas? Our hospitality is, as it were legendary.
So we have Liberians, Nigerians, Sierra Leoneans, Togolese, Europeans, Americans, Scandinavians and Koreans in Sikaman. And some of them have misinterpreted our overzealous accommodation to mean “foolishness” and are misconducting themselves.
The newspapers carry stories of some unscrupulous Nigerians stealing, defrauding and collaborating with their Sikaman counterparts to rob people. You’ll find some good and law-abiding Liberians around but some other Liberians are in the business of fraud, robbery, money printing, money doubling, anything criminal.
Ghanaian hospitality can no longer be extended to such people. I do not think Ghanaians will be treated kindly either, when they misbehave anywhere in the world. Those who come from outside with the intention of bringing down their evil deeds and to practise them here professionally must be getting ready because Ghanaians are getting fed up with the menace.
These days, you’ll find strange people following you as soon as you emerge from a bank. If you are not careful, they’ll wrestle your briefcase from you and speed away in a waiting taxi.
Someone was just saying that many foreign criminals are flocking to Ghana because in their countries, they are enable to operate either because they are being looked for by the police for offences committed or fear instant justice at the hands of mobs. Ghanaians, it is said, are humanitarian in dealing with criminals.
Well, in some African countries, a thief who is being chased runs directly to the police station in his own interest and begs the officer at the counter to lock him up. Otherwise he’ll be lynched or be burnt to death. In Ghana, it is the opposite. The thieves run far away from the cop stations.
The criminals must reform and stay peacefully in Sikaman or quit. No court case!
This article was first published on Saturday September 5, 1998
Features
The architecture of existence: How we live and die
The human condition is defined by two absolute, biological bookends: the commencement of complex cellular animation and its ultimate, irreversible cessation.
For centuries, medicine treated life and death as strictly separate states. Today, modern pathology and molecular biology reveal a more profound truth: the mechanisms that allow us to live are the exact same mechanisms that dictate how we die.
Understanding this relationship is no longer just a philosophical pursuit. It is a clinical necessity for managing public health in the 21st century.
Part I: How we live – The mechanics of animation
At its core, biological life is a continuous, high-stakes battle against entropy (the natural tendency of systems to degrade into disorder). To maintain form, consciousness, and function, the human body relies on three fundamental pillars:
1. Cellular respiration and energy production
Every second of human life is powered by the conversion of oxygen and glucose into Adenosine Triphosphate (ATP), the universal energy currency of our cells. This process occurs within the mitochondria.
Without a constant supply of ATP, the microscopic pumps that maintain electrical gradients across our cell membranes fail, causing cellular collapse within minutes.
2. Homeostasis: The balancing act
To survive, the internal environment of the body must remain incredibly stable, regardless of external chaos. This balancing act, known as homeostasis, regulates:
Blood pH: Strictly maintained between 7.35 and 7.45.
Core Temperature: Ideally kept around 37°C (98.6°F).
Electrolyte Balance: Precise ratios of sodium, potassium, and calcium that allow nerves to fire and muscles to contract.
3. The Autonomic Nervous System (ANS)
The ANS acts as the invisible conductor of life, split into two complementary branches:
Part II: How we die – The path of cessation
Death is rarely a singular event; it is a progressive biological cascade. Whether caused by old age, chronic illness, or sudden trauma, the final pathways of mortality generally follow a predictable trajectory.
1. The cellular horizon: Senescence and Apoptosis
Every time a human cell divides, the protective caps at the ends of its chromosomes-telomeres-shorten. Eventually, telomeres become so depleted that the cell can no longer divide safely. It enters senescence (a state of permanent arrest) or triggers apoptosis (programmed cell death). This gradual, systemic loss of cellular renewal is the underlying engine of aging.
2. The clinical cascade of somatic death
When the body can no longer maintain homeostasis, somatic death (the death of the organism as a whole) begins. This occurs in a distinct sequence:
1
Clinical Death
Zero to four minutes
The heart stops pumping blood, and respiration ceases. While breathing and circulation have ended, the body’s tissues still contain residual oxygen and cellular energy reserves. At this stage, resuscitation is often still possible.
2
Brain Death (Infarction)
Four to six minutes
Deprived of fresh oxygenated blood, the brain’s highly sensitive neurons begin to starve. Lacking ATP, the brain cells lose their electrical charge, swell, and begin to burst. Permanent, irreversible neurological damage occurs within minutes.
3
Biological Death
Hours to days
The organs fail entirely. Without central control or blood flow, individual cells throughout the body consume their final energy reserves. Enzymes that once aided digestion begin to break down the body’s own tissues from the inside out, a process known as autolysis.
Part III: The modern collision of life and death
In the modern era, the boundary between how we live and how we die has blurred. Historically, humanity died primarily from infectious diseases and acute trauma. Today, global mortality is dominated by non-communicable, chronic lifestyle diseases.
Modern Pathology: How we live (the cause) how we die (the result)
Cardiovascular disease, chronic stress, poor diet, and lack of sleep keep the sympathetic nervous system hyper-activated, damaging blood vessels .Occlusion of coronary arteries leads to myocardial infarction (heart attack) or ischemic stroke.
Metabolic syndrome over nutrition and physical inactivity overwhelm cellular mitochondria, leading to systemic insulin resistance. Multi-organ failure, chronic kidney disease, and severe vascular complications.
Neurodegenerative Disorders Chronic systemic inflammation and sleep deprivation prevent the brain from clearing metabolic waste. Gradual loss of synaptic connections, leading to dementia and the eventual loss of basic autonomic functions.
Conclusion: The unified theory of health
Ultimately, how we live directly shapes the path of how we die. The micro-choices of daily existence-how we manage emotional stress, the quality of our rest, our communal connections, and our nutrition-either preserve the integrity of our homeostatic systems or accelerate their decline.
True medical advancement is shifting away from merely extending the final, frail stages of biological death. Instead, the focus is turning toward optimising our living years-ensuring that the intricate, beautiful machinery of human animation runs smoothly until its natural, quiet conclusion.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson




