Relationship
Beyond hangover: How alcoholism affects mental health, children, marriage –Part 1

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Marriage is meant to be a place of rest. A place where two people face the world together, not where one person battles the world alone while the other battles a bottle.
As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional in Accra, I have sat with wives who say, “The man I married disappears every evening,” and husbands who whisper, “I don’t know who I am living with anymore.”
They are not just describing drinking. They are describing alcoholism-and its slow, painful erosion of mental health, trust, and family life.
Let us be clear: Alcohol use is not the same as alcoholism. Many Ghanaians drink socially at funerals, weddings, and weekends without harm. Alcoholism, also called Alcohol Use Disorder, is when drinking becomes compulsive, despite consequences to health, job, and relationships.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that alcohol contributes to over three million deaths yearly worldwide, and in Ghana, alcohol-related harm is a growing public health concern.
The hangover fades by morning. The damage to marriage and children does not. This article is for every spouse, parent, and child living “beyond the hangover.”
A. How alcoholism affects the mental health of the sober spouse
What it looks like at home: You never know which version of your partner will come through the door. Sober, loving, and apologetic one night. Angry, absent, or abusive the next.
The psychological impact:
1.Chronic anxiety: You live in a state of “walking on eggshells.” Your nervous system never relaxes because you do not know if tonight will bring peace or chaos.
2. Depression and hopelessness: Years of broken promises, “this is the last time,” create emotional exhaustion. You grieve the spouse you married while they are still alive.
3. Codependency: You start managing their life -calling their boss, hiding bottles, lying to family. Your identity becomes “the fixer,” not a wife or husband.
4. Loss of self-worth: Constant criticism, neglect, or blame makes you question, “Am I not enough to make them stop?”
Research from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism shows that spouses of people with alcohol use disorder have significantly higher rates of anxiety, depression, and stress-related illnesses than the general population.
B. How alcoholism affects children: The invisible victims
Children do not drink, but they drown in the effects. I call them “the forgotten casualties of the bottle.”
7 ways children are wounded:
1. Emotional neglect: An alcoholic parent is physically present but emotionally absent. Children learn that their needs come second to alcohol.
2. Fear and insecurity: Fights, shouting, broken furniture, or police visits create a home that feels unsafe. The child’s brain stays in “survival mode.”
3. Role reversal: The oldest child becomes “the little parent” -cooking, calming siblings, lying for the parent. Childhood is lost.
4. Academic decline: Concentration, memory, and school performance drop because home is chaotic, not a place for homework and rest.
5. Shame and secrecy: “Don’t tell anyone daddy was drunk.” Children carry the family secret and feel isolated from friends.
6. Risk of addiction: Children of alcoholics are four times more likely to develop alcohol problems themselves. They learn coping through substances, not words.
7. Attachment wounds: They struggle to trust, form healthy relationships, or believe they deserve love as adults.
A child’s brain is still developing. Living with an alcoholic parent is a form of chronic childhood stress that affects emotional regulation for life.
Source:
Counsellor Prince Offei, founder of CPAC, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Published Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes weekly on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health and psychological well-being.
For therapy, counselling, mediation, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 or 0551428486.
Website: https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website
Relationship
…Tips on healthy eating for children during holidays
During the holidays, it is important for children to enjoy it and indulge in holiday treats while maintaining healthy eating habits and making balanced choices.
Setting children up for healthy eating during the holidays is an excellent way to begin building their holiday eating habits as they grow into adults.
Here are some tips to help parents and guardians ensure healthy eating habits for children during the holidays.
- Be a role model.
Parents and caregivers play an essential role in influencing children’s eating habits. Offer children the same balanced meal you cook for yourself and other adults. Avoid making negative comments about food or the meal and keep mealtimes.
Keep to a consistent schedule.
A routine schedule can help minimise grazing and boredom eating. Try to offer three balanced meals and set snack times. Do not offer an alternative to the meal you plan to make for the family. But if your child does not like what is provided, don’t force them to eat if they are uninterested. Let them know that if they are hungry later, they can eat what was offered.
Involve your children in meal prep.
Focus on balanced meals that include vegetables, lean proteins and complex carbohydrates.
Make healthy swaps.
Consider making healthy swaps, such as using whole wheat flour, offering whole fruits, reducing the sugar in baked goods, and limiting added sugars, especially from sugar-sweetened beverages like hot chocolate and eggnog. Consider making your beverages at home to reduce and control the amount of added sugar.
Encourage active play.
Make the holidays a time to engage in family activities. Take family hikes, spend a day at the beach or the bay, or enjoy a stroll in the neighborhood or a local park. These activities can help improve appetite and relieve boredom.
Relationship
Till death do us part? The changing face of marriage, divorce in Ghana

Marriage has long been celebrated as a lifelong union built on love, commitment and mutual support. Across Ghana, wedding ceremonies continue to bring families together with the hope that couples will remain together “till death do us part.” Yet, behind the colourful ceremonies and joyful celebrations, an increasing number of marriages are ending in separation and divorce, reflecting the changing realities of modern family life.
According to the 2021 Population and Housing Census, about 42.9 per cent of Ghanaians aged 12 years and above are married, while 4.8 per cent are divorced and 3.5 per cent are separated, indicating that marital dissolution affects thousands of families across the country.
These figures suggest that although marriage remains a cherished institution, divorce has become a growing social reality.
For Ama, a 38-year-old businesswoman in Accra, divorce was never part of her plans. “We loved each other deeply when we got married,” she recalled. “But after years of constant arguments, financial pressure and poor communication, we realised we were hurting each other more than helping each other.” After ten years of marriage and two children, Ama and her husband decided to divorce. Her experience mirrors that of many Ghanaian couples who begin their marriages with hope but later struggle to overcome life’s pressures.
Marriage counsellor, Mr Patrick J. Tengey explained that poor communication remains one of the leading causes of marital breakdown. “When couples stop talking and listening to each other, unresolved disagreements gradually become resentment,” he said. He added that financial difficulties, unemployment, infidelity, domestic violence, substance abuse and unrealistic expectations continue to place enormous strain on marriages.
His observations are supported by research conducted by psychologists Joseph Osafo, Kwaku Oppong Asante, Charlotte Asantewaa Ampomah and Annabella Osei-Tutu of the University of Ghana. Their study, which analysed divorce cases from courts in the Greater Accra Region, identified infidelity, financial problems, abuse, lack of intimacy, third-party interference and conflicts over gender roles as the major factors contributing to divorce in Ghana.
Marriage counsellor, Grace Mensah, believes many broken marriages could have been saved if couples sought professional help earlier. “Communication, trust and conflict resolution are skills that must be learned,” she said. “Unfortunately, many couples only seek counselling after the relationship has already reached a crisis.” The emotional and financial consequences of divorce often extend beyond the couple themselves.
Mrs Ofosu, a resident at Bohye, explained that children frequently experience anxiety, emotional distress and academic difficulties following their parents’ separation. “Children deserve stability,” she said.
“Even when divorce becomes necessary, parents must continue working together for their children’s welfare.”
Family lawyer, Evans Nii, noted that many divorce cases involve disputes over child custody, maintenance and property distribution.
He explained that under Ghana’s Matrimonial Causes Act, 1971 (Act 367), the court may grant a divorce only when it is satisfied that the marriage has broken down beyond reconciliation.
The law also considers issues such as adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion and prolonged separation when determining whether a marriage has irretrievably broken down.
He further explained that Article 22 of the 1992 Constitution protects the property rights of spouses during and after marriage, while the Children’s Act, 1998 (Act 560) requires that the best interests of the child remain the court’s primary consideration in custody decisions.
Religious leaders continue to encourage forgiveness, patience and reconciliation where possible. However, many acknowledge that marriages characterised by persistent domestic violence or abuse require immediate intervention to protect victims.
Experts believe strengthening marriages requires both personal commitment and institutional support.
Premarital counselling, relationship education, financial planning and accessible counselling services, they say, can help couples navigate the challenges of married life before problems become overwhelming.
French-American journalist, Mignon McLaughlin, once observed that, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche similarly argued that “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Their words continue to resonate with many relationship experts who believe lasting marriages depend on continuous effort rather than romantic feelings alone.
As Ghanaian society evolves, so too do expectations surrounding marriage. While divorce may sometimes provide safety and a fresh beginning for those trapped in abusive or unhealthy relationships, many experts believe stronger communication, mutual respect and timely counselling can help preserve marriages that might otherwise end in separation.
Ultimately, the promise of “till death do us part” remains a cherished ideal. Whether that promise becomes reality may depend not only on love, but also on patience, understanding, shared responsibility and the willingness of couples to grow together through life’s changing seasons.
By Sandra Obeng




