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 All about marriage

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• Make love work

• Make love work

 It is equally important to consider a few things be­fore choosing a partner like:

Learning from your expe­riences

Ensuring your partner and you have common basics

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Looking for someone who makes you laugh

Never settling for less, and more

What are the things to take care of before getting married?

Marriage is, undoubtedly, one of the biggest commit­ments in life. Every marriage takes people who do enor­mous hard work to make it successful.

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To avoid marriage prob­lems, there are a few things to take care of before get­ting married: understanding what marriage is all about, setting a communication system, sharing a list of things you would not like to compromise on, and so forth. To get more insights on things to take care of be­fore getting married, follow this guide.

What are the questions to ask before marriage?

What were the best parts of your childhood? What’s your love language? What’s your retirement plan? What is the true meaning of mar­riage for you?

It is important to ask questions and explore some important aspects with your partner before you walk down the aisle. This will help you both know each other better and make adjust­ments.

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How to enrich your mar­riage

Honesty, love, communi­cation, compassion, commit­ment, respect, and various other qualities can help you strengthen your marital rela­tionship.

How to have a happy marriage

In order to have a happy marriage, it is important to understand what marriage is, what marriage mean to you, overcoming challenges together and working in uni­son, not against each other.

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It is essential to be op­timistic, express gratitude, share responsibilities, and more.

What is the best marriage advice?

Marriage advice can help couples understand the important aspects of married life, maintain a good rela­tionship, and prepare ahead before troubles rear their ugly heads.

Couples should enter mar­riage with realistic expecta­tions, adopt a problem-solv­ing approach and discuss their wants and needs with each other.

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How can I save my mar­riage from divorce?

A marriage may encounter various problems. However, as the adage goes, ‘It takes two to tango,’ the couple should work on fixing the issues as a team to save the marriage when it’s going downhill.

Looking to fix your unhap­py marriage? Here are three words that can save your marriage from divorce.

What’s the significance of sex in marriage?

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Sexual intimacy can build trust in a relationship, mak­ing it all the more important for a marriage where individ­uals vow to spend their lives with each other.

How to communicate with your spouse about sex

Sexual issues, if not communicated, can build up and get frustrating for the partner. Besides, a sexless marriage can also set an un­healthy relationship pattern, ultimately causing a downfall where each partner or one of them may keep wondering how to communicate with a spouse about sex.

To be continued…

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Relationship

Beyond the apologies: Spotting a narcissistic husband and protecting your mental health

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couple arguing

Marriage is meant to be a safe place where two people build, grow, and support each other. But what happens when one partner’s need for admiration, control, and self-importance slowly erodes the emotional safety of the home?  

As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional, I meet women who say, “I feel like I’m walking on eggshells at home,” or “No matter what I do, it’s never enough.” Often, what they are describing are patterns linked to living with a narcissistic husband. 

Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Not every selfish or proud man is a clinical narcissist. But when these traits become consistent patterns that harm your mental health, self-worth, and sense of reality, it is time to pay attention.

Here are seven realistic signs you may be married to a narcissistic husband:

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1. Everything is about him

Conversations, decisions, and even your achievements somehow circle back to him. If you share good news, he quickly shifts the focus to his own success or minimizes yours.

Over time, you feel invisible in your own marriage. A healthy marriage makes space for both partners’ voices. A narcissistic dynamic makes space for only one.

2. You feel constantly blamed and criticised

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No matter how hard you try, you are made to feel inadequate. He may use subtle sarcasm, public criticism, or outright blame to keep you off balance. This is not constructive feedback—it is a tactic to control and diminish you. You begin to question your memory, judgment, and worth. In psychology, this is called “gaslighting,” and it is a common tool in narcissistic relationships.

3. Empathy is missing when you need it most

When you are sick, stressed, or grieving, a narcissistic husband often appears emotionally distant or irritated. He struggles to validate your feelings unless it benefits him. Real empathy requires stepping outside oneself. Narcissism keeps the focus inward, making emotional support feel transactional or absent.

4. Control disguised as “Love” or “Protection”

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He may monitor your phone, dictate how you dress, or isolate you from friends and family under the guise of caring for you. Healthy love promotes freedom and trust. Narcissistic control seeks to keep you dependent and manageable. Over time, this erodes your independence and confidence.

5. Love feels conditional and performance-based

Affection, praise, and attention come when you meet his expectations. When you do not, you face silent treatment, anger, or withdrawal. This creates a cycle where you work harder to “earn” love that should be freely given. Marriage is not a performance stage—it’s a partnership.

6. He avoids accountability

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When issues arise, he rarely apologizes sincerely or takes responsibility. Instead, he deflects, blames you, or rewrites the story to make himself the victim. A marriage cannot heal if one partner refuses to own their part. Accountability is the foundation of trust.

7. Your mental health is declining

Perhaps the clearest sign is what is happening inside you. Do you feel anxious, drained, confused, or less confident than when you got married? Living with chronic emotional invalidation and control takes a toll on your nervous system and self-esteem. Your mental health is a reliable indicator that something is wrong.

What can you do?

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Recognizing these signs is not about labeling and leaving. It is about seeing clearly so you can make informed choices for your mental and emotional well-being.

1. Seek clarity through professional support: A trained counsellor can help you separate reality from manipulation and rebuild your self-worth.  

2. Set healthy boundaries: Boundaries are not punishment. They are protection for your peace and dignity.  

3. Build a support system: Isolate yourself less. Share with trusted friends, family, or support groups. You are not crazy, and you are not alone.  

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4. Prioritise your mental health: Therapy, journaling, prayer, and self-care are not selfish. They are necessary for survival and clarity.

Marriage should add to your life, not subtract from your sense of self. If you recognise these patterns, know this: naming the problem is the first step toward healing, whether that healing happens within the marriage or through creating a safer life for yourself.

Source: 

Counselor Prince Offei is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health.

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Continue Reading

Relationship

Beyond the apologies: Spotting a narcissistic husband and protecting your mental health

Published

on

Marriage is meant to be a safe place where two people build, grow, and support each other. But what happens when one partner’s need for admiration, control, and self-importance slowly erodes the emotional safety of the home?  

As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional, I meet women who say, “I feel like I’m walking on eggshells at home,” or “No matter what I do, it’s never enough.” Often, what they are describing are patterns linked to living with a narcissistic husband. 

Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Not every selfish or proud man is a clinical narcissist. But when these traits become consistent patterns that harm your mental health, self-worth, and sense of reality, it is time to pay attention.

Here are seven realistic signs you may be married to a narcissistic husband:

Advertisement

1. Everything is about him

Conversations, decisions, and even your achievements somehow circle back to him. If you share good news, he quickly shifts the focus to his own success or minimizes yours.

Over time, you feel invisible in your own marriage. A healthy marriage makes space for both partners’ voices. A narcissistic dynamic makes space for only one.

2. You feel constantly blamed and criticised

Advertisement

No matter how hard you try, you are made to feel inadequate. He may use subtle sarcasm, public criticism, or outright blame to keep you off balance. This is not constructive feedback—it is a tactic to control and diminish you. You begin to question your memory, judgment, and worth. In psychology, this is called “gaslighting,” and it is a common tool in narcissistic relationships.

3. Empathy is missing when you need it most

When you are sick, stressed, or grieving, a narcissistic husband often appears emotionally distant or irritated. He struggles to validate your feelings unless it benefits him. Real empathy requires stepping outside oneself. Narcissism keeps the focus inward, making emotional support feel transactional or absent.

4. Control disguised as “Love” or “Protection”

Advertisement

He may monitor your phone, dictate how you dress, or isolate you from friends and family under the guise of caring for you. Healthy love promotes freedom and trust. Narcissistic control seeks to keep you dependent and manageable. Over time, this erodes your independence and confidence.

5. Love feels conditional and performance-based

Affection, praise, and attention come when you meet his expectations. When you do not, you face silent treatment, anger, or withdrawal. This creates a cycle where you work harder to “earn” love that should be freely given. Marriage is not a performance stage—it’s a partnership.

6. He avoids accountability

Advertisement

When issues arise, he rarely apologizes sincerely or takes responsibility. Instead, he deflects, blames you, or rewrites the story to make himself the victim. A marriage cannot heal if one partner refuses to own their part. Accountability is the foundation of trust.

7. Your mental health is declining

Perhaps the clearest sign is what is happening inside you. Do you feel anxious, drained, confused, or less confident than when you got married? Living with chronic emotional invalidation and control takes a toll on your nervous system and self-esteem. Your mental health is a reliable indicator that something is wrong.

What can you do?

Advertisement

Recognizing these signs is not about labeling and leaving. It is about seeing clearly so you can make informed choices for your mental and emotional well-being.

1. Seek clarity through professional support: A trained counsellor can help you separate reality from manipulation and rebuild your self-worth.  

2. Set healthy boundaries: Boundaries are not punishment. They are protection for your peace and dignity.  

3. Build a support system: Isolate yourself less. Share with trusted friends, family, or support groups. You are not crazy, and you are not alone.  

Advertisement

4. Prioritise your mental health: Therapy, journaling, prayer, and self-care are not selfish. They are necessary for survival and clarity.

Marriage should add to your life, not subtract from your sense of self. If you recognise these patterns, know this: naming the problem is the first step toward healing, whether that healing happens within the marriage or through creating a safer life for yourself.

Source: 

Counselor Prince Offei is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health.

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Continue Reading
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