Obaa Yaa
Age difference is disturbing
Obaa Yaa,
I Am 21 years old and a final year student in the university, while he is 38 doing the mandatory National Service.
We were friends for close to two years when one day, he decided to break the silence between us by leading me to the hostel after l had finished lectures.
Though he proposed to me, he was not prepared to answer certain simple questions l asked him.
With time, he became somehow cold towards me for reasons best known to him.
Having moved with him for a couple of years, l have discovered that he is down to earth, respectful, caring, and helps all manner of people in need, and to the best of my knowledge he will be the right husband for me.
Unfortunately, my friends have a different view that the age difference will not be good for both of us to stay as husband and wife.
According to them, they suspect this gentleman to be married, probably having children and could only be interested in having sex with me.
I am surprised by the views of my colleagues and currently having sleepless nights.
What should l do?
Mary- Takoradi.
Dear Mary,
Love knows no bounds and people should be allowed to marry those they really love and are prepared to spend the rest of their lives with.
However, one of the facts which should guide an individual when choosing a spouse is the difference in age.
A few years age difference will not be too much of a bother, but if the difference is about 10 years and more, then people will raise eyebrows.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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