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Obaa Yaa

Abortion made me lose interest in her

Dear ObaaYaa,

I find it interesting reading your column and wish to commend you for the able manner you have responded to letters sent to you.

I am deeply in love with a pretty lady and she also loves me just as l do. We are both happy together and wish to get married so that our happiness will continue.  My friends are always happy when they see us together and support our decision to marry.

One interesting aspect of her life was that she was always around to lend her support in times of difficulties, a gesture l tried to reciprocate. Time without number, we did not hesitate to reaffirm our love for each other.
We were taken by surprise and embarrassed when she got pregnant. Though not ready for a child then l told her to take it easy and maintain the pregnancy as we quickly find an amicable solution to the problem.

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l cited instances of ladies who had caused abortion and could not conceive when they needed to conceive. I explained to her that despite the initial mistake we made, she should maintain it and that l would not like to be associated with an abortion. Despite my explanation, she went ahead to abort the pregnancy.
Her behaviour has made me lose interest in her and l have planned not to marry her any longer.

Should l maintain my stand?
Kodzo, Accra.

Dear Kodzo,
The paper would like to thank you for reading this column to enrich your knowledge and also learn from it.
Reading this column constantly will provide you the opportunity to learn from the numerous problems that confront others and the solutions provided to guide you.
You have espoused the good qualities this lady possessed, and from your description she will be a good wife.
Why don’t you depend on the love you have for each other, forgive her for defying your orders and let bygones be bygones?

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Obaa Yaa

 I don’t like his dressing

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

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Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sis­ter is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

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The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send sig­nals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

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Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrass­ment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neigh­borhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

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Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

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Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a re­sponsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleep­ing around.

You can also report her be­haviour to your family head to talk to her.

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