Obaa Yaa
Can l marry this lady?
This lady and l belonged to the youth group of our church and we became very close in the process and this led me to develop an interest in her.
Going by the advice of my parents that l should do well to keep my moral life above reproach, l ensured that l did not take advantage of any of the girls in church.
I decided to study the lifestyle of this lady after sometime before l will make a definite decision as to whether l will marry her.
With time, l discovered to my surprise that this lazy is the type who will not lift a finger in the house and does not know how to prepare food.
Though l am always in her company together with her elder sister, it has never crossed my mind to propose love to her as a voice kept telling me to take my time.
It was not quite long when l became aware of the enviable qualities in the elder sister and naturally, my attention was drawn to her.
l have decided to marry this elder sister instead of the younger one l had fixed my eyes on.
Though l have made up my mind to marry, l have not disclosed my intention to either of them.
Will l be wrong if l decide to marry this lady instead?
William, Cape Coast.
Dear William,
How l wished the youth copied your example because this is the best way to study people, especially someone you will spend the rest of your life with.
That is why marriage counselors and parents always caution the youth to distant themselves from premarital sex because it is a way of promoting promiscuity and the complex problems associated with it. An intercourse would have made it impossible for you to identify her shortfalls and probably end relations with her.
It would have been impossible for you to marry this second lady if you had had an affair with the younger sister.
You are at liberty to inform this lady of your decision to marry her. The problem would have arisen if you had promised to marry the younger sister who caught your attention at the first instance.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
