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Borla man —Part Four
After a couple of days, Martin had finished breakfast and was about to leave, when his mother motioned to him to wait.
“Martin, I came here from Koforidua three days ago, not because I have nothing to do at home, but because your father and I thought we should find out how you and Sarah are doing. Yet since I’ve been here, you’ve not sat down with me for even fifteen minutes.”
“Mama, I’m getting late for work. Can’t this wait till when I get back in the evening?”
“When will you come back this evening? And in what state will you be? What’s happening to you, Martin? Where do you go after work every evening?”
“Mama,” he said as he moved to the door, “I’m sorry I have to leave. Moreover, I’m not a boy anymore. I’m quite capable of managing my affairs.”
But his mother blocked the door.
“If you are capable of managing your own affairs, why did you call to make all those complaints about Sarah? Since I’ve been here, I’ve noticed that the place is always clean, there’s always good food available. She washes your clothes and even irons them. And what’s your response? You’ve turned yourself into a ghost, leaving home first thing in the morning and coming home late, every day. All those tales you told us about Sarah, they have turned out to be lies. Listen, you either change this stupid lifestyle, or we will force you to change.”
“What will you do, Mama, beat me up?”
His Mama surprised him with a big, nasty slap, nearly flooring him. Very angry, he picked his briefcase and went out.
He came home very late as usual, ate, and dropped off to sleep. The following morning he confronted me as I was preparing his breakfast.
“Sarah, what nonsense have you been telling my mother? If you can’t keep your mouth shut, then it’s best you go to your parents. After all, even though our parents gave their brief chat, the elderly lady went to her room.”
“So what’s happening?” she asked. “Has there been any improvement since the old lady has been here?”
“No. Things have gotten worse. Apparently, he called her and made all kinds of allegations against me. And she’s found out the truth. But you know, he’s not paid her any attention. He’s not sat down with her for five minutes. This morning he was quite rude to her, and she slapped him.”
“Oh dear. And she’s leaving today?”
“Yes. I’ve asked her to come with us and drop at the station.”
“I don’t believe this. Martin is not dropping her at the bus station? Sarah, where did you pick this guy from? If he can do this to his mum, then you had better leave before things get really bad.”
“His mum says she and his dad will go and apologise to my parents, and then I can leave. I have no regrets whatsoever. By the way, what did Paul Allotey say?”
“Basically, he liked you the moment he saw you. He wished you weren’t married. If you were single, he would have done everything to grab you.”
“Life’s like that, isn’t it? Whilst someone is treating you like garbage, someone else is wishing he could have you. He is quite a guy. But aren’t you hitting it off with him already?”
“He’s a very nice guy. I certainly like him. But you deserve him, so let’s see if we could make something happen.”
An hour later, I sent the following note to Martin: “Hi, this is to inform you I walked back with him, and he begged his mum to come back. Very reluctantly, she came down, and Martin picked up her suitcase.”
“Okay Mama,” I said. “I will see you at the house shortly.” But he held me again.
“Sarah, I need to have a word with you. Please wait a minute.” I waited as he led his mother to the car, placed the suitcase in the boot, and came back.
“Sarah, I’ve been very foolish. Please forgive me. I need you very badly. I, I’m in trouble.” He walked with me to Paul’s car.
“Hi, Dinah and Mr Allotey, please forgive me, I need to have a little discussion with my wife. Please.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” Paul said. “Sarah, let’s do it another time.”
Unwillingly, he followed me to her room. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she heard him out.
“Ei Martin, you see what your arrogance has gotten you. You prefer a prostitute to this beautiful girl? Let’s go to the police now. Twenty thousand cedis. Goodness! I’m calling your father, then we’ll go to the police.”
At the police station, we were handed over to Inspector Beatrice Addy who, surprisingly, listened patiently to Martin.
“Okay,” she said. “Martin, you are fortunate that your wife and your mother are standing by you even though you were disloyal to them. I will get together with my colleagues, and hopefully we can get at least some of your money for you. It appears that the lady is a fraudster, in addition to being a prostitute. So our team will locate her, and I believe you will recover some of your money. I am very glad that you have come back together with your family. I hope this unfortunate incident will make the family stronger.”
Dinah called soon after we returned from the police station.
“Okay, what’s the news?”
“He got into a problem with a prostitute he’s been going out with. She stole twenty thousand cedis from him. Now the scales seem to have fallen from his eyes.”
“Oh dear, oh dear. You can’t leave now then. Hang on a bit. Give him a chance. But don’t compromise on going to school.”
“That’s exactly what I plan to do. But I will insist that he makes changes immediately. No more hanging around with the boys after work, no more getting drunk every day. And I hope after the experience with the prostitute, he will keep clear of girls. Actually, from the signs we are seeing now, I think he is already a changed person.”
“Sarah, that girl, I don’t know what she did to me. I just, she seemed to control me.”
“You said you are in trouble. What has happened?”
“Immediately I get home, your father and I will go to her parents and apologise to them, then I will personally come back and take her home. I hope you understand the implications of the behaviour you are putting up. You are not only rejecting Sarah, you are rejecting your parents. You can go away. Sarah will take me to the Accra station.”
To my great surprise, he left.
Dinah came in just when I came out of the bathroom. She greeted Martin’s mother and sank into the sofa.
Paul stopped his car, and I carried the old lady’s suitcase in. We drove off to the station, and I led her to buy the ticket. I hugged her warmly, and she boarded the bus. As I was walking to the car, I saw Martin, looking as if he had been run down by a car, rushing towards me.
“Sarah! Please Sarah, where is she?” I pointed in the direction of the bus, and moved forward. But he held me.
“Please, don’t go away. I need your help. There’s something we need to discuss. Please.”
“She defrauded me. She asked me for some money when I dropped her yesterday. I took out my cheque book to sign out one thousand cedis, but she suggested that I simply sign it so that she filled in the details later. A short while ago I saw a message on my phone that twenty thousand cedis had been withdrawn by the girl.”
“Martin, I told you that the girl is a prostitute. She was waiting for the right moment to strike. Listen, I can’t handle this alone. We can’t make too much noise about it, but it is certainly a criminal case. Let’s talk to your mum. She will scold you, but she’s your mother.”
“Have you had the chance to speak with him?”
“No. His mother insisted that we make a report to the police. We came back some fifteen minutes ago. He just left for the office. He sounds really apologetic, but I won’t assume anything now. By the way, how did lunch go?”
“Very well. He dropped me at home. He’s picking me up at six.”
“You and the Borla Man are doing rather well, aren’t you?”
“Yes. The only problem I had was you. He has a soft spot for you, but now that you and Martin are sorting things out, I’m going all out.”
Martin came home at five forty-five. He hugged me and asked whether supper was ready.
“The stew is ready,” I replied. “I was about to boil some yam.”
By Ekow de Heer
Attention-Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often mistaken for laziness or indiscipline. In consulting rooms across Accra and in reports from school teachers, the pattern repeats: children who are bright but forgetful, parents who feel helpless, teachers who see incompleteness.
Research is clear-Barkley (2015) and others describe ADHD as a difference in the brain’s regulation of alertness, impulse and working memory, not a lack of effort.
The family’s role begins with structure. Regular sleep, predictable meal and homework times, and a simple visual list (uniform → books → water → corridor) provide the external scaffolding of these children need. Praise what is completed—“You opened the book and wrote the first sentence”-instead of rebuking what is missing.
Schools can help by seating the child front-row and centre, giving short written plus verbal instructions, allowing brief movement breaks, using quiet nonverbal cues and, where possible, grading effort and method as well as neatness. These adjustments reduce conflict and raise submission rates without lowering standards.
Couples and caregivers should share roles: one grounds, one pivots, and both protect rest. Shame-“bad parenting, bad child”-needs replacing with fact: different wiring, needs scaffolding.
Outcomes improve not by promises of perfection but by daily routines, clear limits and warmed connection. One homework slot kept, one instruction chunked, one calm repair after blurting-these small wins shift the family climate and let the child be seen beyond the label.
Resource
• CPAC (award-winning Mental Health and Counselling Facility): 0559850604 / 0551428486
Source: REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI’s insights on special needs support, relationships, and mental health in Ghana. He is a leading mental health professional, lecturer, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, renowned author, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE) – 0551428486 /0559850604.
WEBSITES:
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website
After two weeks of hectic activity up north, I drove to the Tamale airport, parked the car at the Civil Aviation car park as usual, paid the usual parking fee and boarded the plane for Accra.
Over the last two weeks, I had shuffled between three sites where work was close to completion.
One was a seed warehouse, where farmers would come and pick up good quality maize, sorghum and other planting material.
The other was a health facility for new mothers, where they were given basic training on good nutrition and small scale business.
And the third was a set of big boreholes for three farming communities.
The projects usually ran on schedule, but a good deal of time was spent building rapport with the local people, to ensure that they would be well patronised and maintained.
It was great to be working in a situation where one’s work was well appreciated. But it certainly involved a lot of work, and proactivity. And I made sure that I recorded updates online before going to bed in the evening.
When the plane took off, my mind shifted to issues in Accra, the big city. The young guys at my office had done some good work. They had secured five or six houses on a row in a good part of the city, and were close to securing the last.
When we got this property, unusually, Abena greeted them casually, and appeared to be comfortable in the guy’s company.
I was quite disappointed to hear that, because until the last few weeks, it seemed as if Abena and I were heading in a good direction. Apart from the affection I had for her, I liked her family. I decided to take it easy, and allow things to fall in whatever direction.
Normally I would take a taxi to her house from the airport, and pick her up to my place. This time I went to my sisters’ joint, where they sat by me while I enjoyed a drink and a good meal.
“So Little Brother,” Sister Beesiwa said, “what is it we are hearing about our wife-to-be?”
“When did you conclude that she was your wife-to-be? And what have you heard? I’ve only heard a couple of whispers. Ebo and Nana Kwame called to say that they have seen her in the company of—”
“Well said Little Brother,” Sister Baaba said. “By the way, Nana Kwame called an hour ago to ask if you had arrived because he could not reach you. Someone had told him that Jennifer had boasted to someone that she had connected Abena to a wealthy guy who would take care of her.”
I was beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.
“In that case,” Sister Beesiwa said, “you should be glad that Abena is out of your way. She is easily swayed. Anyone who would make a relationship decision based on a friend’s instigation lacks good sense. I hope the guy is as wealthy as they say?”
“Who gets wealthy running a supermarket chain in Ghana?” Sister Baaba said. “Our supermarkets sell mostly imported products. Look at the foreign exchange rate. And remember that Ghanaians buy second-hand shoes and clothes. Supermarkets are not good business here. Perhaps they are showing off that they are wealthy, but in reality they are not doing so well.”
“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.”
She said that David Forson was only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her. And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.
“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. We would be able to sell all five houses to one big corporate customer, and we had already spoken to a property dealer who was trying to find a buyer in order to get a good commission.
That was going to be my biggest break. I had asked the boys to look for a large tract of land on the outskirts of the city where we could develop our own set of buildings, blocks of storey houses and upscale apartments. Things were going according to plan, and I was quietly excited. However, things were not going so well regarding my relationship with Abena.
My buddies Ebo and Nana Kwame had called to say that they met Abena and her friend Jennifer enjoying lunch with a guy, and Ebo believed that Jennifer was ‘promoting’ an affair between Jennifer and the guy. They were of the view that the promotion seemed to be going in the guy’s favour, because only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her.
And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.
“As I’ve already said, I will stop by her place, but I will mind my own business from now. Hey, let’s talk family. How are our parents? And my brothers-in-law? And my nephews and nieces? Why don’t we meet on Sunday? I’m going to drop my bags at my place, and go to see Mama and Dad.”
