Obaa Yaa
My wife is untidy
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My wife is the only woman I have lived with that is making things difficult for me.
Growing up, I have lived with my mother, aunties and sisters and they were never untidy when it comes to keeping the home.
We currently have two children, who are four and two years old. The children keep themselves busy without much trouble yet my wife cannot keep our house neat.
When I travel for days, I come home to meet dishes left in the sink and an untidy environment.
She would also leave dirty diapers in the hall or packed somewhere in the kitchen.
Clothes she had worn have taken over the chairs and even the bed. You will see wigs lying on the center table and brassier hanging on the sofa.
Anytime I raise concerns about her attitude, she tells me she would put a stop to it.
Every weekend turns into a marathon of cleaning, washing and scrubbing because my wife will not do it.
After six years of marriage I am exhausted and honestly part of me feels like walking away or renting a new place for myself .
Amponsah, Madina
Dear Amponsah,
IT is rather unfortunate things are happening this way in your home. In my opinion, you can assist your wife with the cleaning of the home after you have closed from work.
If that is impossible, you can employ a house or a nanny to assist your wife in cleaning.
Handling children can be stressful especially when they are not teenagers.
It will surprise you, she might be going through something and finding it difficult to address it.
Find time and communicate with her on how you want things to be done. You can also help by assisting her with some of the house chores.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
