The fastest selling drug has found its way into Sikaman and no one should be surprised if teenage pregnancy assumes a fourth-dimen­sional character and becomes a na­tional tragedy. The name of the drug is VIAGRA and it is supposed to be a magic pill that turns impotent men into he-goats.

In the United States and Europe, the drug has been hailed by many who claim it has indeed helped them to perform their marital duties in pomp, pump and style. “It saved my marriage,” crooned one jubilant ex-impotent man.” Now my wife doesn’t misbehave. This drug must be the messiah.”

A 47-year old British New York-based journalist, Drew Mackenzie who tried it said. “It made me feel I was 18 again.”

Newspapers and magazines world­wide have praised Viagra and finally the drug has landed in Sikaman and is selling like hot suya. Ghanaman likes things of this nature, and many people are going to pretend they are impotent so that they can buy the drug to improve their nightly perfor­mance.

Yes, Ghanaman likes it. If a herb­alist comes around and says he has a drug that can enhance sexual per­formance like the celebrated AK 47 Bitters, it would be fully patronised. The problem with Ghanaman is that he doesn’t want things by the halves. Drink deep or taste not!

Go to your hometown and you might find people punching each other’s ears over the common dregs of palm wine. It contains yeast and is reputed to be very good for newly married men who must prove to their brides that they are not ‘hopeless’. At least they can prove a point, and prove it beyond doubt!

Impotence is a personal tragedy and men who suffer from it feel deflated and inferior. The hospitals have not helped much; the herbal­ist’s concoction has not been of any lasting value. Some have benefited from natural therapy, but a greater proportion of impotent folks have still not been able to get it up.

They have lost their wives because women want to be entertained at night. It is their situational right and they demand it even if you give chopmoney. A girlfriend may also not tolerate an impotent mate for too long because the relationship is ex­pected to be with watered love and passion. The rod must wake up for a while before going back to sleep.

Because of the self-pity that is associated with impotence, victims of the condition will do anything to redeem their self-image. They must bear children and above all show by rhythm a flow that they are capable of something so that his pride must not be wounded forever.

CRAZE

Sikaman is soon going to be engulfed in the Viagra craze because the drug comes in the form of pills and I hear it is fast acting. With earlier drugs, you probably had to take an injec­tion and wait for your ‘instru­ment’ to get charged which time the lady might have change her mind. That can cause more prob­lems including waist pains.

With Viagra, impotent men are allegedly having less problems. Immediately they take, they start bleating and misbehaving. They do their worst before the drug loses its Mankind!

Viagra may be solving the problems of many but there is an ALARM! It has been reported in the United States, some people (at least six) have died after taking the medicine. It is not quite known whether they died from the toxic nature of the drug, over-ex­citement or over-performance, or a combination of the three.

May be some of them got too pepped-up with the new discovery and worked themselves up to the point where their bodies could take no more. Anyhow, it is believed that they died from the effects of the drug.

As it were, Ghanaman must be­ware! Any drug which has been proved to be potent can easily be imitated by crooks who would want to cash in and make some money. So you’d find that Viagra can have many versions in a matter of weeks – the genuine one, semi-fake one, semi-toxic one and the one which can put you into coma for a century.

Sikaman has had to contend with fake drugs. Some capsules do not contain the chemicals they are sup­posed to contain. Instead, they are filled with Kokonte powder. Even if you take one million of the capsules, you can’t get cured. The only thing you probably might benefit from is di­arrhoea -free bowels, induced by raw Konkonte powder which should have gone into the preparation of ‘FACE THE WALL’.

I think it is time the Standards Board girded its loins because I can bet on my jaw that fake Viagra will be sold to Ghanaman at high cost. Some agents are even going to price it in dollars, so the Bank of Ghana should start warming up to net the dollar-charging miscreants.

In any case, I hear impotence is best cured by spiritual or divine heal­ing. When Reverend Reinhard Bonke was at Tema to fight red-eyed witch­es, a woman swore she was going to carry her husband shoulder-high to the crusade so that Jesus could repair his waist. It was a nice way of saying her husband was ‘off-road’ and could not embark on any journey, long or short distance.

Anyhow, the Lord cares. God says, “Be fruitful and multiply”. How can you multiply if you can’t get it up? So the Lord doesn’t heal only blindness, poverty and insanity. He also heals impotence, barrenness or infertility, and indeed every kind of disease.

Beware of Viagra. But the Lord cares, remember!

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