Text message exposes my boyfriend

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My boyfriend told me he was attending the funeral of her late cousin outside Accra and promised to be back the next day.

Initially, the plan was that I would go with him and spend some time with his family since I have a good relationship with them.

I realised he was not comfortable about that and kept telling me that it’s a distant cousin and there was no to need join him.

He said he was going to park his car at the office and join a family bus.

My boyfriend picked a woman from Accra whom he had arranged with during the week.

I called her sister and she told me that his brother came with a lady and also secured themselves a hotel room.

Immediately he arrived, he went straight to the bath house, a lady sent a text message on his phone appreciating the good time they had together.

I read the message when he was having his bath.

Though her sister gave me every information but the text message confirmed everything.

How can he do such a thing? Why did he take another lady to the funeral and left me behind?

Abrefi, Tesano.

*****

Dear Abrefi,

I Understand how you are feeling at the moment because your boyfriend lied to you.

I advise you to confront your boyfriend on the allegations and let him know you have a proof.

He might be pissed off but that is exactly what you should do.

This will give you the opportunity to insist that you will attend all functions with him so that he will not have the opportunity to misbehave.

In confronting him, be calm. Don’t quarrel or nag.

Let’s protect the girl child

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.

I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.

I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.

What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.

Araba,

Takoradi.

Dear Araba,

YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.

Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.

With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.

Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.

Obaa Yaa

My mum wants me to end my relationship

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.

I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.

When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.

Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.

I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.

The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.

My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?

Efe, Mallam.

*****

Dear Isaac,

Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.

You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.

This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.

Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.