Obaa Yaa
My husband keeps cheating Dear Obaa Yaa
My husband has cheated on me for more than 15 years and even after he promised me it was over, I found he was still paying the same woman for sex.
I am 48 and he is 53.
We have been married for 18 years and I have spent most of that time bringing up our now adult children alone.
After I discovered his affair four years ago, he promised me he had ended it but would remain friends with the woman.
I found out through their messages that even after their affair officially ended he still paid her for sex.
He is the breadwinner, and he has always kept his spending a secret and given me a tiny budget to run the house.
He goads me into having arguments so he can walk out and spend weekends with his lover.
I finally told his family how his behaviour was affecting me, but even then he tried to blame me.
Privately, he told me I should have left him if I felt so unhappy.
But he told his mum he loves me and wants our relationship to work.
I am not sure how I feel because he is still in denial and won’t admit to my face what he has done.
Celestina, Ashaiman.
Dear Celestina,
I am sorry for what you are going through in your marriage.You really do not deserve this treatment, considering the commitment and loyalty to your husband but I am hoping at the end of my write up, we would be able to get to the bottom of it and get a solution to your problem.
First of all, I would advise you to talk to your husband for the last time about his bad behaviour and give him options to choose you or the lady he is paying for sex.
Bring your grown up kids in when you confront him and let them talk to him. If after all he doesn’t stop, then leave him.
At age 54, you should be enjoying the fruit of your labour and not stressing or worrying about marital issues.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY fiancé is a journalist with one of the reputable media houses in Ghana.
Plans are far advanced for us to tie the knot but my worry is that he’s always busy and comes home late every evening when I am in bed.
By the nature of his work and schedule, as soon as he comes home, he takes his bath and supper. The next thing is to sleep without spending time with me.
He has no holiday. On Sundays, he goes again to work after church service. I am beginning to entertain some fears that things will get worse when we get married.
I am the type who like to be pampered but my fiancé is not pampering me.
Please advise me to make an informed decision before it becomes too late.
Paulina,
Dodowa.
Dear Paulina,
THERE are no specified working hours for journalists. In short, they are always on the move.
That is why it appears they cannot be good husbands.
And if you want a man who will be at home and pamper you, then a journalist might not suit that purpose, unless he is on leave.
However, I wouldn’t discourage you. Journalists are very interesting people who learn a lot and can help you to widen your outlook.
Don’t look at the romantic aspect of it only; consider the future of the relationship, your self-development and the future of your children. I wish you all the best.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a Christian sister who believe in the biblical code of modest dressing as a mark of a true Christian.
My dress is always the long type, covering my knees.
My boss addressed me yesterday that such dressing was not needed in the company, particularly as a Personal Assistant.
He says my dresses should be office mini type to show my legs to attract a lot of customers since we are in the business of selling.
Obaa Yaa, I am confused about my boss’s demand as this will affect my Christian principle of decent and modest Christian dressing.
Please advise me.
Emefa,
Sogakope.
Dear Emefa,
Normally, Personal Assistants are generally expected to be smart in skirt and top of the same material or white top and blue- black skirt.
Unusually long dresses or skirts do not make Personal Assistant look smart, so employers will normally require that very long dresses are not worn by their PAs.
You could get skirts that are long enough to cover your knees so that your thighs are not exposed. You can look decent in that and do your job.
However, if your particular church does not allow the exposure of even your legs, then the only option is to resign and get another job where your kind of dressing will be tolerated.
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