Obaa Yaa
My advice to young ladies
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 32-year- old graduate from one of the universities in Ghana. I deem it necessary to sound a word of caution to young ladies to concentrate on whatever they are doing and not to follow boys.
I was in love with one of my course mates though we were careful not to indulge in sex, we got to a point where complacency took the greater part of us and l got pregnant.
My pregnancy took me by surprise and the serene academic environment suddenly changed and l became confused.
In my confused state l considered many options but the need to cause abortion was on top of the list. Since l was at home when the pregnancy set in, my mother did not find it difficult to discover the mess l had landed in.
The cunning way she posed the question to me made it impossible for me to deny. With this discovery l decided to maintain the pregnancy and defer my course.
Though my boyfriend was not financially sound, l accepted odd jobs to enable me to go through the period until l was delivered of my baby.
Fortunately, my mother took care of my child while l returned to school and successfully completed with a good grade.
However, l must warn that it was not easy since l put a lot of stress on myself and on my parents.
I wish to advise young girls to concentrate on their studies and refrain from engaging in pre-marital sex, since this could end their education for ever.
Beatrice, Accra.
Dear Beatrice,
Experience is the best teacher and it is good to share your bitter experience with young girls who are growing and likely to pass through the problem you had.
You are lucky to have parents who were considerate and accepted despite the problem. I think it is essential to take her advice since you may not be as fortunate as she was.
Concentrate on your studies to avert embarrassment from boyfriends some of whom may disown the pregnancy and make you look disappointed before your parents.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
