Connect with us

Features

Kids do and say the darnedest things

Published

on

Children Playing Pix

I went to see a friend off at one of the lorry stations or parks in the capital. A young woman was carrying a toddler; definitely her own child. A young man, probably a student in one of the senior high schools was munching what looked like a candy. This toddler stretched her hand in demand of the candy and the mother slapped her arm so hard that the little tot screamed in agony.

It took a lot of coaxing for the girl to stop crying, and the student went to buy another candy for her. This mother’s action drew a lot of condemnation from those around. When she was questioned, all she could say was that she didn’t want to encourage her child asking things from strangers. How would a toddler, barely two years old, understand this?

Whatever catches a child’s fancy, they want to possess. Some are likely to throw tantrums if they don’t get it. In children’s estimation, they own everything around them. Some kids will naturally run away from strangers, even if that stranger has what looks like their favourite toy. But others accept strangers with open arms.

You might have noticed parents beating their little children in order to stop them from crying unnecessarily. My question is: which child keeps quiet just for being whipped? It never happens, because children are not immune to pain from beatings.

Advertisement

There are many children in my neighbourhood; very interesting children. Their ages range between 18 months and six or seven. It is difficult to determine their ages these days unless they live in your house. A few months ago, while some adults looked on as these children were playing, one four-year-old told her playmates that she had been seeing her parents wrestling in their bed with no clothes on. What do my readers make of this?

The child, in her innocence, was only reporting what she saw; nothing more. Whatever wrestling match she saw meant nothing to her, but parents must be mindful of the fact that children, no matter how young, have a very keen sense of observation even if they cannot and do not process what they see as adults are wont to do.

Another one told her mates that her mother grew beard on her genitals. I guess every mother has a particular name for the genitalia the children know. What the little tot was referring to was the mother’s tuft of pubic hair. And because the father had a beard on his chin, her mother’s was elsewhere and she wanted her mates to know that. That’s how simple and uncomplicated a child’s world is. Children have very little or no appreciation of anything that goes on around them.

My two-year-old grandson spills a malt drink on the cushion and his mother screams at him. He gets frightened alright and rushes to me to be cuddled. After a few moments he is back demanding to be given the rest of the malt drink from the mother. It is difficult for some parents to come to terms with the fact that children are just who they are; children.

Advertisement

A couple of years ago, my daughter called me one morning for our usual chat. During the conversation, she told me her eldest daughter wanted to talk to me. She gave her the phone and all my granddaughter asked was, “Grandpa, when will you die?” I heard my daughter shout at her not to ask just a silly question. She took the phone from the little girl and tried to apologise to me for her daughter’s effrontery.

Honestly, if I had asked my parents that question at that age back in the day I would have been accused of being a witch (or wizard) incarnate. Adzevi would have been the right description. Even majority of parents in our parts in this day and age will not take kindly to this question from an impetuous child. Who born dog? All hell would have broken loose. Born-again parents would have taken this child to their pastors for deliverance.Deliverance because of a simple, innocent and inquisitive child’s question?

I asked my daughter to give the phone back to her child. I asked her if she was present at her own birth. She said no. Did she know when she was born? She mentioned the date. How did she know? Her mother told her was her response. She gave very honest answers to my questions. I knew I got her attention, so I went on, “You see, you just said you were told those things by your Mom. What it means is that we never know when we are born until our parents tell us.

“That is how God works. We do not know when we are born, so we do not know when we will die. The decision is God’s as to when He calls us back to where we came from. Do you understand now?” She said she understood and I asked if she had any other question relating to dying. She had none, so I asked her to give the phone back to her mother. I reported our conversation to her and asked her not to dismiss questions children ask outright.

Advertisement

When my grandchildren came visiting on my birthday in January, I raised the issue but my granddaughter did not remember she had ever asked me that question. Children are naturally very inquisitive. Just after about five years, she had forgotten a question she had asked while younger.

Another child who referred to a cripple as an animal because he saw that the person was walking on all fours was so severely beaten that he fell asleep while still crying. How does a child understand these things, one may ask? And the little tot would not understand why he was beaten. Children must be allowed to express themselves freely. What parents must understand is that children say things they see. Therefore, it behoves parents to determine what is right or wrong for their children to be exposed to. Just do not do what your own child will report to her playmates that turns to embarrass you. What children say or do mirrors the way we live in our homes and the immediate environment.

More often than not, adults think children should understand what we understand. They must see what we see. we easily forget that we were once like them; perhaps behaved worse. A mother beats up a child for demanding food she doesn’t have money to afford. Children do not care whether we have the resources to take care of them. They should not, actually. All they want is to play and eat and sleep. Deprive a child of these and your ceiling will come down.

Writer’s email:

Advertisement

akofa45@yahoo.com

Continue Reading
Advertisement

Features

The eye is indeed the lamp of the body

Published

on

There is a scripture that is found in Matthew 6:22 which says that the lamp of the body is the eye and therefore the eye must see well to enable the body to get to its destination.  

What most people do not know is that behind the scenes, there is a strong interaction between the eyes and the brain before a picture becomes clear.  The state of mind therefore is crucial to the eye seeing clearly to enable the body to process accurately the information the eyes are feeding it for proper identification of what the eyes see. 

This is similar to how a person behaves i.e. what informs the decisions that forms in the mind that results in the actions that a person performs.  The actions of a person does not therefore just happen but is as a result of things that went on in the mind, which in most cases resulted from information passed on to it by the eyes either consciously or unconsciously.

There are so many issues that affect our society which makes one wonder, whether the people who displayed such acts were created by someone or something other than God. 

Advertisement

How can a person see a beach created by God with beautiful beaches and fresh air blowing all around, decides to defecate at such places, and therefore desecrate the environment?  lt is simply mind boggling? 

When other people in other countries who dwell on the coast are using their beaches for tourist attraction purposes as a means of livelihood and also to promote environmental health, some people living around our beaches, have turned them into rubbish dumping sites and toilets. 

It is a very sad situation and the earlier we did something about it the better.  It is a national emergency that must engage the attention, first of the government and then the citizenry, where religious bodies and NGOs must play a critical role.

The things we focus on in this country, needs to be addressed.  Our minds which processes the info the eyes send to the brain, must be disciplined.  There are certain behaviours that a disciplined mind can ignore even when the eye has provided info to the brain.  One of the things a disciplined mind does, is the avoidance of a second look, which is critical for every person who wants to avoid adultery or fornication. 

Advertisement

Once a person is not blind, he will see things.  The boobs, the ‘shankus’, the coca cola shapes, the light complexioned, the dark complexioned etc. the eyes will definitely see and report same to the brain.  What the brain or the mind decides to do or instructs the eye to do is the issue. 

It can decide to instruct the eye to take a second look and let the mind drool over it or say ignore it and that will be the end.

If the mind becomes trained to focus on environmental issues like clean environment, the eyes will automatically be reporting on insanitary conditions to the brain as and when it sees them.  The mind will pay attention to such data and begin to process them and to identify solutions to deal with the reported insanitary conditions. 

There is the need to encourage citizens to train the mind to focus on the right thing so that in tandem with the eyes, focus will be maintained.  When the mind is so trained, it communicates with the eye to also focus on hood things that helps in both are spiritual life and our secular lives, for indeed the eyes are the lamp of the body.  God bless.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Features

 Arming the Sikaman journalists to the teeth

Published

on

THE relationship between New Times Corporation (NTC) and African Concrete Productions (ACP) is based entirely on matters of the stomach. Each depends on the other in a dietary symbiosis, reinforced by the close proximity of each other

At lunchtime, you’d see a particular set of Times workers marching regimentally to ACP to face the wall. You’d think they are soldiers. It has long been declared that the company manufactures the best kokonte in the Greater Accra Region. ACP is, therefore, a culinary haven for those NTC kokonte fans, both male and female.

As the NTC kokonte warriors cross the border to ACP, you’d see some ACP banku fanatics dancing joyously to NTC. They are lucky folks because they do not have to obtain visa to enter into ‘Times’ to attack the balls of banku with precision and accuracy. They also claim that the lightsoup at ‘Times’ is arguably the best in West Africa.

So the relationship between the two entities was quite cordial and based practically on stomach palaver, until ACP workers staged an industrial revolution, whereupon the managing director, accountant and estate manager were allegedly stripped naked and locked up in a room. An insurgency had began in earnest.

An ACP worker came to ‘Times’, this time not to eat banku and okro. He had come to inform newsmen that juicy stuff awaited them at ACP. It could make a front page lead story.

Advertisement

A camerawoman and a female reporter were accordingly dispatched to go and bring back news, juicy news as juicy as kokonte and groundnut soup.

Sikaman Palava
Sikaman Palava

I was driving to work when I espied the familiar camerawoman clicking away outside the ACP premises. I didn’t see any ‘Times’ reporter but angry workers who were on the verge of getting violent. I slowed down and the driver behind blew his horn at me like a lunatic. I drove on.

Later, I heard the reporter and camerawoman were harassed and brutalised. The report came,. “The camerawoman, Mrs Salome Adonu-Agbottah and reporter Mrs Doreen Allotey, in an attempt to retrieve the camera which the workers had seized from them were severely beaten. They were manhandled and almost pushed into a big gutter opposite the company’s premises.

BRUISES

“….The camerawoman had bruises on her body, her hand bag was destroyed and the money in it stolen. Mrs Allotey’s watch was also snatched and her feet stamped on.”

Advertisement

Luckily, it was not her nose that was trampled upon. She has a beautiful nose.

The bad news was received with extreme sorrow. If the victims had been men, it would not have seemed too bad. But to brutalise women is just unacceptable. The New Times Corporation has not stopped mourning the incident which has been condemned in many circles.

Some people keep asking me why Times sent females to cover a potentially violent demonstration. I tell them they might as well ask why CNN’s amazon, Christina Amanpour, is assigned to cover the carnage in Bosnia-Herzegovina and Rwanda. She is always on the frontline in jeans and jacket.

Journalism is a potentially hazardous profession, and once you accept to study and practise the trade, you might as well bone up to face any assignment as long as your superiors feel you are capable of handling it or you have demonstrated the capacity to handle it. Both males and females can be assigned anywhere, anytime just like policemen and women are assigned.

Advertisement

The only difference between cops and pressmen is that the latter are armed only with a pen and the former with a gun. The question is should newsmen also arm themselves so that in any event of an assault they would not be found wanting in self-defence? They can’t adequately defend themselves with a pen and a jotter. A pen cannot even disfigure an opponent’s upper lip.

Photo-journalists have particularly suffered violence. Spectator ace-cameraman Vincent Dzatse was severely assaulted by AMA men when he attempted to take pictures of their indiscretions.

Sports cameraman, P. K. Arthur has been beaten more than once at the sports stadium when riots errupted and he wanted to capture it on his lenses.

Some sports journalists have been banned from entering the Accra Sports Stadium by supporters because in their comments, they didn’t write “sense”. Some supporters once nearly lynched Christian Abbew, Spectator Sports Editor, near a courtroom. He was stoned like the biblical Stephen. He had gone to defend a contempt charge.

Advertisement

I think it is time journalists met and discussed how best to defend themselves in any event of an attack by individuals or mobs. In the pursuance of their duty, they must be free from harassment and assault.

Some journalists go to work and return home with a black-eye or a double fore-head. It is just not right. Something has to be done about it. I think journalists should be armed. But first we must be trained in the use of firearms so that our warning shot do not hit below the belt. What about training in Kung Fu?

This article was first published on Saturday, October 17, 1998.

Advertisement
Continue Reading
Advertisement

Trending