Relationship
Why you must not beg for love from your partner
If you have to beg for love, you are in a bad relationship. It is a sign that your partner is not as dedicated as you are and that the feelings may not be equal.
A relationship is supposed to be a true partnership, and it requires two people to complete it. If only one partner is putting in all the energy, then it’s a sign that the relationship is not a priority and you’re better off if you moved on. Here are some reasons nobody should beg for love.
They may not be ready
If your partner isn’t showing love, it could be a sign they aren’t ready for the relationship you need. No matter what you do or say, you can’t force them to be prepared.
Don’t waste your time trying to change someone who can’t be changed. Wait for a partner to come along who is ready when you are and who won’t hurt you in the process. Your well-being is more important than their lack of being willing.
They don’t appreciate you
If you have to beg, it’s a clear sign they don’t appreciate you, which means they don’t deserve you. You shouldn’t waste time praying for the love of someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Eventually, someone who does appreciate you will come along and treat you the way you deserve to be. Your happiness is essential, never beg someone to treat you well. Save your energy for someone who will never have to be asked twice to show you affection.
Someone else will be available
If your partner isn’t doing the things you need from him or her, it’s not your fault. Don’t beg them to do something they aren’t interested in. You can find someone else who will be fully engaged in the relationship.
Someone who is fully dedicated to the relationship will be able to connect emotionally. Your significant other will be supportive and interested in what is going on in your life. The person who wants to be with you won’t make you feel your self-worth is diminished.
It gives your partner the upper hand
When you beg for love, it makes the other persons feel like they are above you. They may use the begging against you and make it sound like they did you a favour. They may use it as bargaining chip to make you do things you aren’t comfortable with or that make you unhappy.
It can stop you from meeting the right person
When you are putting your energy into someone who doesn’t love you, you could be missing out on something better. There is, indeed, someone special out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Do not let the right one pass you by because you are trying to gain the affection of someone who doesn’t want it.
If you stay in a poor relationship with someone you have to beg, you may not find right person who you truly deserve. Don’t put yourself in this situation; you deserve true happiness and affection.
It makes you feel upset
If your partner isn’t all-in, you’re going to feel sad and lonely often throughout the relationship. Eventually, the relationship will end one way or another. So, you shouldn’t spend your time being upset about the way you feel in your relationship.
You already feel bad that they aren’t giving you love and affection, so you might as well end it instead. The pain will occur in both instances, but do not force the relationship to work.
It is demeaning
Your self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence may be affected if you beg for love from your partner. A relationship should only make you want to be better, and it should make you happy more often than sad.
It should boost your feelings of confidence and make you feel secure about who you are. It should never cause your self-worth to be diminished.
Though no one is perfect, you are perfect for someone. Remember this and remind yourself that if you have to beg your partner for love, you aren’t ideal for them.
Don’t waste the fantastic things you have to offer on someone who doesn’t see how special you are. Someone may be willing to accept you irrespective of your flaws. Wait for that person.
Parenting teens can be challenging. But it can also be a joy. The key is to know how to care for yourself, first and foremost. Before you have children, you might think that parenting will come naturally. And, to some degree, it does. But there are days (and sometimes months and years) when all parents could use some extra support.
Last week we looked at some four simple yet powerful approaches for parenting teens that build strong relationships for the long-run. Here are the remaining two:
4: Keep communication going
Because we are often busy and distracted, we do not always take the time to really focus on our kids when they’re trying to tell us something. Take advantage of the time you have together. Having dinner together as a family, using car time to talk, or chatting before bed are good ways to stay in daily touch with your teen. Prioritise quality time as well as quantity: Consider having breakfast out on the weekend as a special catch-up time to chat about the week. Or schedule monthly “family meetings” to discuss how things have been going and any conflicts that have arisen.
5. Be an empathetic listener
Listening with empathy and caring is one of the most important tips on parenting a teenager. Researchers have shown that people’s brain patterns synchronise when they listen closely to one another and watch each other’s expressions. As a result, the connection between them becomes stronger. Not feeling truly heard can lead to isolation and lack of self-esteem which are the root causes of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Therefore, take listening seriously. It’s not just a way of coping with teenagers; it has an enormous impact on their well-being.
The price of ‘I do’: Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2
She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol
If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:
Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.
No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.
Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.
You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.
Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.
Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.
Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.
Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”
Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date
Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.
My Final Word
Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.
Ask your partner:
“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”
“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”
“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”
If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.
Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.
The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.
You can still insure your marriage today.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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