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Waakye Girl – Part 2

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It was another Friday night at the Executive Tavern, where a young group of graduates and business­men who had started climbing the corporate and business ladder gather to make contacts, drink beer, link up with girls and mostly, show off.

After three weeks on tour in the regions with the Inspection Team of the bank’s Accounts Department, Aperkeh had joined his three friends – Kwabena, Edusei and Charles, had just met as they did every Friday.

‘So folks, how have things been? Any interesting office news, and any new girls?’ ‘On my part, nothing new,’ Charles said. ‘I’m still eyeing that girl at Procurement, but she’s not showing any interest. She gives only short replies to my questions, and hardly smiles back.

I will give her another two weeks, then I will forget her. She’s real­ly sexy but she could also be very boring’.

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‘She’s boring because you can’t get her? Why don’t you look at your approach, your style? Maybe she finds you boring so far? Do a little investigation, find out what her in­terests are. Talk to one of her close friends. You will get one or two useful tips’.

‘My brother, as for me, I don’t have time for CIA work o. If the girl is boring, I will just move on and try my luck elsewhere. There’s another girl in the same department. I will start looking her way. If this one doesn’t improve I will simply move over’.

‘I’m with you, bro’, Kwabena said. ‘Life is too short. At this stage in our lives we should be looking at the market, trying a few potentials and eventually making a selection. No need to waste time on one boring girl’.

‘Hey, Aperkeh’, Edusei started, how is Waakye Girl? What’s the plan?’

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‘No change in plan. She’s still there. I will keep her for as long as I find it convenient, then I will drop her. I think I was a little hasty in moving her into my place. She’s certainly good-looking, and very helpful.

My parents kept asking me to bring her in because she’s from our town and all that, even if I was not going to marry her immediately, and her parents did not object when she started spending time with me. But I should not have moved her in.

She knows now that I have no plans of marrying her. In only a matter of time she will find her way out.’

‘But Aperkeh, shouldn’t you be a little careful there? She’s a beautiful girl, and she’s virtually living with you as your wife, cooking for you, keeping the house clean and doing all that a wife does? Would it be so easy pushing her out, especially when you are from the same town and your parents know each other? And what if she gets pregnant?’

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‘I have thought about all that. But I’ve made my decision. I won’t mar­ry her. The earlier she sees the light and moves on, the better for her. I won’t waste much sleep on this. Her parents and my parents will not be pleased, but what can they do? Lis­ten, I have already located another curvy, elegant, pretty girl.

I gave her a lift just before I went on inspection. You guys will meet her in a few days. So forget Waakye Girl. Her time has passed’.

‘I think it’s okay if you decide to leave her and move on’, Charles said, ‘but don’t keep things hang­ing for too long. Some parents can make things difficult if they believe you have used their daughter and dumped her, especially in this case where the girl is not a street girl, as you yourself have said. Leave her and be done with her.

She and her parents will not like it but they will get over it. And don’t forget, a fine girl like that will get another guy chasing her in no time’.

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‘Where will she get a handsome graduate with a great future like me? Somebody will certainly grab her and give her four kids in four years, but she won’t get very far. Look, why don’t we change the subject? I’m not really comfortable with this’

It was Monday morning.

David stopped the car and walked to buy waakye for himself and three others at the office. Stella served him and moved towards his car.

‘Good to see you again, Stella. I hope your weekend was okay’. ‘Well … I will call you when we close from here. How was your weekend?’

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‘My weekend was fine. I will be expecting your call.’

‘Hi David. Sorry if I keep bothering you with my issues, but I appreciate the sympathy you have shown. The weekend was not great, at all. A girl came to the house to ask for my, er boyfriend, and when I asked her why she wanted to see him she said it was not my business, so I said I would not allow her to see him.

Eventually, he heard us exchanging words, so he came over and went to the entrance to speak to her, and I saw him giving her some money.

I had made up my mind to ask him why a girl should come to the house to ask for him, and also why he gave her money. But to my surprise he issued a stern warning that he’s not married to me, and I have no right to prevent him from seeing anyone. So I asked him what he thought of me, and what role he thought I was playing, living with him, and he replied that if I had any intelligence I would not ask him such a silly ques­tion. I have never felt so humiliated in my life. I have just given myself away to a man who has absolutely no respect for me.’

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‘Stella, listen to me. You have done absolutely no wrong. Given the attention he was giving you, and the encouragement and even pressure from your parents, any young girl would have made that decision.

He’s from the same town, he’s a graduate, and he said all the right things. Fortunately, there’s more than enough time to change things round.

Don’t engage in any more confron­tations with him. As soon as possi­ble, if possible today, go and tell your parents what is happening.

Let them know the situation, and state emphatically that it is clear the guy has no plans for you, and wants you out, so you are moving out. If they insist on your staying, tell them you will go and rent a place to live in.’

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‘Thank you David. Thank you very much. I will do that, today. I hope I can continue to call you.’

Of course you can. In fact, we can meet sometimes, even though I won’t advise it until this problem is solved. But I’m sure all will be well very soon.

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Understanding women’s emotionsProofreadUnderstanding women’s emotionsProofread

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The emotional lives of women are deep and complex. They are shaped by biology, the brain, and how women interact with the world around them. While everyone feels emotions, science shows unique patterns in how women process and express them.

1. How the brain and body work

​Emotions are not just feelings in the mind. They are physical processes controlled by the brain and body:

Connected brain halves: Studies show that women often have strong connections between the left and right sides of the brain. This helps women link logic with intuition and feelings very quickly.

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Strong memories: The brain’s emotional centre helps women remember emotional events with vivid detail. This builds strong gut feelings and helps women learn from past experiences.

Hormone changes: Hormones like estrogen and progesterone change throughout the month. Estrogen can boost good moods and energy, while progesterone can cause calmness or quiet reflection. These shifts are natural physical responses.

2. Empathy and connection

​Women often show high levels of empathy and social skill:

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Mirror neurons: People have brain cells called mirror neurons that let us feel what others feel. Research suggests these networks help women deeply sense and understand the emotions of people around them.

​The “Tend-and-Befriend” Response: When stressed, men often react with fight or flight. Women often use a “tend-and-befriend” response. Driven by bonding hormones, women are wired to care for others and seek support from friends and community during hard times.

3. Society and expectations

​Society also shapes how women express their feelings:

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Different rules: Girls are often taught to be nurturing and expressive. However, society sometimes judges women harshly if they show anger or act too assertive at work. This forces women to balance their true feelings with outside expectations.

Emotional labor: Women often carry the weight of keeping families and workplaces happy. While this builds strong bonds, it can also lead to tiredness if they do not take time for themselves.

4. Resilience and Intuition

​These biological and social factors give women great emotional strength:

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The Power of Sharing: Many women are good at processing sadness, joy, and love by talking with others. This helps them heal and grow.

Listening to intuition: “Woman’s intuition” is real. It is not magic; it is the brain quickly putting together past experiences, physical clues, and deep observations into a clear gut feeling.

Conclusion

​Women’s emotions are a powerful and sophisticated system. They are driven by brain science, body chemistry, and deep empathy. Understanding these systems helps us see the vital role women play in building strong relationships and communities.

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By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson

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Confronting newborn abandonment in Ghana: When a cry for help is heard in a dustbin – Part 2

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An abandoned baby

The root causes: It is never just one reason

My years of counselling at CPAC show me abandonment is rarely an act of malice. It is the tragic endpoint of seven overwhelming distresses:

1. Severe maternal mental illness —The hidden emergency

a) Clinical Postpartum Depression (PPD): This is far beyond “baby blues.” It is a severe mood disorder that can appear weeks to months after birth. Due to a massive drop in hormones, extreme sleep deprivation, and emotional exhaustion, the mother feels deep sadness, worthlessness, and complete emotional numbness towards her baby. Picture: A new mother sits by her bed all day, staring blankly. Her baby cries for hours, but she cannot lift her hands to carry the baby. She whispers, “This baby would be better off without me.” She does not hate the baby; she feels she has completely failed as a mother.

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b) Peripartum Psychosis (Postpartum Psychosis): This is a psychiatric emergency. Rare but extremely dangerous, appearing suddenly within the first 2-3 weeks after delivery. The mother completely loses touch with reality. She hears commanding voices telling her to abandon the baby, or believes the baby is possessed by an evil spirit or is a “spirit child” who will bring a curse. Picture: A mother genuinely believes she heard a voice saying, “Leave this child at the crossroads at midnight or your family will die.” She abandons the baby not out of hatred, but because her broken mind believes she is obeying a higher spiritual order to save her family.

c) Pre-existing untreated Schizophrenia: This is a chronic, severe mental disorder that existed before the pregnancy. The stress of pregnancy and labour shatters her fragile coping. She suffers from paranoid delusions — believing people want to poison her and the baby — flat affect (zero facial expression), and grossly disorganised thinking, making it impossible to plan how to feed or clean a baby. Picture: A young woman whose family called her illness “spiritual attack” instead of taking her for medication wanders away after delivery, completely forgetting she even gave birth, leaving the infant behind.

2. Extreme socio-economic deprivation: For many girls in some parts of Ghana such as Kasoa, Madina, or Bekwai, poverty is not a statistic; it is a daily panic. No money for antenatal care, no money for hospital delivery, no money for baby diapers or formula. When a mother cannot feed herself, the thought of feeding another mouth feels impossible. Some mothers say, “I left her where someone richer would find her, because I could not watch her starve to death in my hands.” It is a distorted act of survival.

3. Intense societal stigma and shame: In Ghana, pregnancy outside marriage, teenage pregnancy, or pregnancy from rape can bring extreme family rejection. The girl is called “spoilt,” beaten, banned from church, or sacked from school. The fear of bringing shame to the family name is heavier than the fear of police. So she hides the pregnancy for 9 months, delivers alone, and abandons in secret to protect her family’s “honour.”

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4. Paternal abandonment — The Man Who Ran Away: Behind almost every abandoned baby is a man who vanished. He says, “It is not mine,” or “Abort it,” and switches off his phone. The mother is left utterly isolated — no emotional, financial, or social support. She is criminalised alone, but the abandonment started with him. Psychological research shows paternal denial is one of the strongest predictors of maternal panic and newborn abandonment. 

5. Substance abuse disorders: Alcohol, tramadol, and other drug addiction impair the brain’s executive functioning — the ability to plan, judge consequences, and process emotions. A mother struggling with addiction may give birth in a highly intoxicated or withdrawal state, unable to comprehend the needs of the newborn, leading to neglect and eventual abandonment.

6. The spirit child cultural phenomenon and superstition: In some remote pockets of Northern Ghana and even in few parts of Central and Ashanti regions, public health research shows babies born with congenital deformities, severe disabilities, or whose mothers die in childbirth are branded as “spirit children” or cursed. In extreme instances, families, under cultural pressure, mandate that such babies be exposed or abandoned at shrines or bushes. This is not mental illness, but a harmful cultural belief system that still kills.

The invisible wounds

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On the baby: Risk of death from hypothermia, sepsis, and infection. Survivors suffer Anaclitic Depression and Failure to Thrive due to lack of touch. As adults, they battle Reactive Attachment Disorder, chronic mistrust, and identity crisis — “Why did my mother leave me in a dustbin?”

On the mother: Lifelong hidden grief, intense guilt, chronic PTSD, depression, and elevated suicide risk. A prison cell does not heal this.

On the nation: Overburdened orphanages like Osu Children’s Home, draining health budgets, and overworked Social Welfare officers.

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