Text message exposes my boyfriend

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My boyfriend told me he was attending the funeral of her late cousin outside Accra and promised to be back the next day.

Initially, the plan was that I would go with him and spend some time with his family since I have a good relationship with them.

I realised he was not comfortable about that and kept telling me that it’s a distant cousin and there was no to need join him.

He said he was going to park his car at the office and join a family bus.

My boyfriend picked a woman from Accra whom he had arranged with during the week.

I called her sister and she told me that his brother came with a lady and also secured themselves a hotel room.

Immediately he arrived, he went straight to the bath house, a lady sent a text message on his phone appreciating the good time they had together.

I read the message when he was having his bath.

Though her sister gave me every information but the text message confirmed everything.

How can he do such a thing? Why did he take another lady to the funeral and left me behind?

Abrefi, Tesano.

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Dear Abrefi,

I Understand how you are feeling at the moment because your boyfriend lied to you.

I advise you to confront your boyfriend on the allegations and let him know you have a proof.

He might be pissed off but that is exactly what you should do.

This will give you the opportunity to insist that you will attend all functions with him so that he will not have the opportunity to misbehave.

In confronting him, be calm. Don’t quarrel or nag.

I don’t like his dressing

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.

You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.