Relationship
Some signs he isn’t a playboy
You’ve been injured in your previous relationships with men who played the groundwork for you. You believe they were the right choice for you. You thought your instincts were right, and it was safe to put your trust in them. But, no, your gut betrayed you. He ended up being like everybody else. Now you’re in a situation that makes it hard for you to feel secure around others. You would like to be vulnerable. You no longer want to give people the opportunity to harm you. You do not want be hurt again.
But, you are aware that you’re still trying to love yourself. You are also aware that you won’t discover love until you try it. You’ll never discover love if you aren’t willing to feel vulnerable. What do you do then? It’s about taking a calculated risk and determining whether the person you’re in love with is worth keeping.
It’s will always a great opportunity to be in love. However, it’s a risk everyone must be willing to take. Love is the most powerful force in this world. We do ourselves a disservice if we do not allow love into our lives simply because we are scared of being jilted.
If you’re skeptical or afraid it doesn’t mean you’re shooting in the darkness. Only let yourself be vulnerable to men whom you consider worthy of your focus. They need to demonstrate the value they bring to your company. To help you become more accurate in your assessment of personality, these are points to consider and signs that your man isn’t only having fun with you but is worth your time:
- He’s always smiling whenever you’re around him.
You are sure that it isn’t a forceful smile;neither is it a pretentious smile. It’s obvious that the person trulyenjoys your company. It’s also obvious that he’s committed to you.
- He shows his love to you through his actions, not through words.
Guys aren’t exactly the most efficient communicators when it comes to words. However, they’re always able to express their feelings by their actions. So, if you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t revealanything about his feelings to you, there’s no need to worry, particularly when he consistently does his best and is willing to go the extra mile to help you.
- He doesn’t force you to transform into someone you’re not.
He appreciates who you are and won’t do anything to alter your character. He wouldn’t let you feel you’re not good enough for him.
- He’s witnessed the worst of you, but he remains faithful and committed.
He is aware of how bad you’re doing since you’ve already exposed your other side to him, especially your weaknesses and flaws, yet, he’s been there for you.
You share the same values in life.
You share the same objectives, interests and values. This makes it easier for you to establish an intimate relationship since there is no friction.
Source: www.dreamyhub.com
Parenting teens can be challenging. But it can also be a joy. The key is to know how to care for yourself, first and foremost. Before you have children, you might think that parenting will come naturally. And, to some degree, it does. But there are days (and sometimes months and years) when all parents could use some extra support.
Last week we looked at some four simple yet powerful approaches for parenting teens that build strong relationships for the long-run. Here are the remaining two:
4: Keep communication going
Because we are often busy and distracted, we do not always take the time to really focus on our kids when they’re trying to tell us something. Take advantage of the time you have together. Having dinner together as a family, using car time to talk, or chatting before bed are good ways to stay in daily touch with your teen. Prioritise quality time as well as quantity: Consider having breakfast out on the weekend as a special catch-up time to chat about the week. Or schedule monthly “family meetings” to discuss how things have been going and any conflicts that have arisen.
5. Be an empathetic listener
Listening with empathy and caring is one of the most important tips on parenting a teenager. Researchers have shown that people’s brain patterns synchronise when they listen closely to one another and watch each other’s expressions. As a result, the connection between them becomes stronger. Not feeling truly heard can lead to isolation and lack of self-esteem which are the root causes of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Therefore, take listening seriously. It’s not just a way of coping with teenagers; it has an enormous impact on their well-being.
The price of ‘I do’: Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2
She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol
If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:
Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.
No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.
Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.
You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.
Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.
Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.
Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.
Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”
Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date
Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.
My Final Word
Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.
Ask your partner:
“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”
“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”
“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”
If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.
Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.
The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.
You can still insure your marriage today.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
SKIP THE QUEUE, TAP THE NEWS
You can now read the Ghanaian Times and The Spectator newspapers from the comfort of your device via TimesNewsPlus.
Buy Maps
Join our WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27
