Relationship
Some reasons you are always attracting the wrong guy
Depraved relationships can be messy. You end up questioning your very existence and your standards for love. You can’t help but wonder about what you’ve done to deserve the hell that you’ve just been through. What did you do to deserve that boyfriend who mistreated you and emotionally manipulated you? What you don’t realise is that you probably brought this havoc upon yourself with your bad decisions and misguided intentions.
You can save yourself the hassles of heartache by improving your standards and changing the way you go about choosing a potential mate. Girls often make the mistake of going into relationships with wrong expectations, so they end up hurting themselves in the process when their expectations aren’t met. Don’t fall victim to your own wrong decisions and start approaching relationships better.
You prioritise look over personality
The one way to be blindsided into getting yourself into a toxic relationship is to allow you to prioritise looks over personalities. Scrutinises won’t be everything 10 years down the line. If you’re looking to be in a serious long-term relationship with someone, then you should start looking into peoples’ personalities more than their looks. Looks will fade away eventually, but personalities can only shine brighter with age. It would help if you always chose to be with someone who makes you happy over someone easy on the eyes.
Choosing someone who has the same personality as your toxic ex
You have a type. We understand that. But it would not be very reasonable for you to keep on getting into a relationship with people who have the same personality type and expect different results every time. Switch up your tastes and raise your standards. Reevaluate the qualities you want in a partner, and see if they are worth sustaining in a relationship.
You prefer the loud one to the quiet one
Often, you’ll be drawn to the loud and eloquent partner with whom you can seemingly strike a conversation at any given moment. You may end up overlooking quiet, quiet introverts who have just as much love to give you in the process. Be wary. The loud, talkative ones don’t necessarily have the best personalities and might bring toxicity to your relationships. There are perfectly great potential life partners waiting in the wings who don’t have the courage to strike up a conversation. Don’t overlook them and test the waters a little bit. You never know what gems you may end up finding if you put in a little effort.
Letting popularity be a factor in determining worth
Social status is incredibly essential to you, and you only want to be linked with the most popular people. That can spell disaster for you in the future because sometimes, the most popular people don’t necessarily make the best life partners. Yes, you can be dating someone with elite social status, but if you don’t connect emotionally, then what’s the point? You’ll only end up disappointing yourself in the long run, and you won’t have anyone else to blame but yourself.
Source: www.dreamyhub.com
Parenting teens can be challenging. But it can also be a joy. The key is to know how to care for yourself, first and foremost. Before you have children, you might think that parenting will come naturally. And, to some degree, it does. But there are days (and sometimes months and years) when all parents could use some extra support.
Last week we looked at some four simple yet powerful approaches for parenting teens that build strong relationships for the long-run. Here are the remaining two:
4: Keep communication going
Because we are often busy and distracted, we do not always take the time to really focus on our kids when they’re trying to tell us something. Take advantage of the time you have together. Having dinner together as a family, using car time to talk, or chatting before bed are good ways to stay in daily touch with your teen. Prioritise quality time as well as quantity: Consider having breakfast out on the weekend as a special catch-up time to chat about the week. Or schedule monthly “family meetings” to discuss how things have been going and any conflicts that have arisen.
5. Be an empathetic listener
Listening with empathy and caring is one of the most important tips on parenting a teenager. Researchers have shown that people’s brain patterns synchronise when they listen closely to one another and watch each other’s expressions. As a result, the connection between them becomes stronger. Not feeling truly heard can lead to isolation and lack of self-esteem which are the root causes of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Therefore, take listening seriously. It’s not just a way of coping with teenagers; it has an enormous impact on their well-being.
The price of ‘I do’: Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2
She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol
If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:
Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.
No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.
Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.
You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.
Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.
Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.
Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.
Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”
Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date
Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.
My Final Word
Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.
Ask your partner:
“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”
“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”
“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”
If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.
Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.
The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.
You can still insure your marriage today.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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