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Smooth transfer — Part One

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My name is David Forson. I was fortunate to have been blessed with three elder sisters, who contributed to give me a smooth tertiary education.

My dad taught Economics in senior high schools all his working life, mostly in the Central Region, and my mother worked as a matron or catering officer, either in the same school with Dad or in senior high schools and polytechnics close by.

They gave their four children a good upbringing and education. Interestingly, all my three sisters studied catering at the polytechnic and, after a few years working in government establishments, established the Sankofa Restaurant and Catering, where they provided first class local dishes for patrons and delivered regular orders.

They were strategically located on the Circle-Achimota road, and many customers stopped for breakfast, lunch and supper all day.

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I was a ‘retirement baby’, born ‘by accident’ when my parents were close to retirement, so my sisters took over all issues relating to my education.

I sailed smoothly through university, earning a first class degree in development economics. I did my National Service with the Electricity Company of Ghana and was offered a job in the Projects Department, but my sisters advised me to acquire a postgraduate qualification.

So, with the ECG experience in mind, I did an 18-month Master’s Degree in Project Management at the Ghana Institute of Management and Public Administration, during which time I often went to help my colleagues at the Projects Department.

I was re-engaged at the ECG, but six months into the new job, my fatherly Head of Department, Mr Osekre, encouraged me to apply for the job of Northern Sector Project Manager at what was advertised as a ‘development agency’.

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It turned out to be the European Union, which gave me the responsibility of coordinating the development jobs being done by various contractors in the northern regions.

I was offered a comfortable flat in Tamale and given a new pick-up truck. I established good rapport with the contractors and sent monthly reports which informed them about the progress of work. I established an online portal which enabled them to easily monitor what was happening in all the projects.

This was greatly appreciated, and the Commissioner wrote to thank me and informed me that due to my work, the regular visits by expatriate staff to the north had become unnecessary.

And better still, the offices in Brussels and other countries heard about me. I was sent to several African countries to help them establish similar online facilities and was soon promoted to Consultant.

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I often came to Accra by air to spend a few days with family and friends, but I preferred to drive because it gave me the opportunity to bring a substantial amount of foodstuffs for use in the restaurant.

Of course, I was very well paid. Upon the advice of my elder sisters and my mentor Mr Osekre, I took two major decisions. I decided to find a stable lady partner to marry and start a family.

I also decided to invest in housing projects. Mr Osekre took me to some areas in Accra with several uncompleted buildings and suggested that I buy a couple of these houses, finish them and sell.

Under his guidance, I did extensive investigations to find the actual owners of the properties and completed negotiations with them. With all the resources I could muster, I put them into perfect condition, and buyers rushed to take them even when I was putting final touches to them.

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Having made a substantial profit, I registered a company, opened an office and employed two graduates to do the jobs of scouting for properties, conducting searches on property documents, and arranging meetings with the owners of the properties.

This became a very successful business to which I could retire anytime I wanted.

On the relationship side, I reconnected with Abena Gyasi, who was two years behind me at the university and was working in a recruitment agency. We had gone out a few times, and I had visited her family and enjoyed their company.

Apart from the fact that her parents were well known to mine, we got on well together, and although I did not say anything to her directly, all indications pointed to our heading towards marriage.

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She was tall and quite elegant with a commanding presence, and I felt proud about the glances that were cast in her direction when we went out.

We enjoyed each other’s company and spent long hours on the phone when I was out of town.

Everything went well until I went to her house one morning, and she introduced her friend Jennifer, who was her mate in senior high school. She was a big girl, quite fashionable and outgoing.

They talked excitedly about new fashion trends and called other mates to chat. I was quite glad that she had found someone to spend time with when I was not around. She smiled and even joked with me, but I felt a bit uneasy that she was not too excited about me. I thought this was normal, as she perhaps wanted Abena all to herself.

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A few weeks later, Abena started asking about my job, even though I had told her a lot about my work in the north. On Mr Osekre’s advice, I had only told my family about the investment business.

It was better to wait till it was on firm ground, he advised, and that would take at least a couple of years. Of course, I would tell her everything when we decided to get married.

She started asking some funny questions like ‘did you say you were doing agricultural extension work or development projects?’ Initially I gave her answers with some details, but when she persisted along the same lines, I said out of exasperation, ‘Abena, why do you keep asking the same questions even though I have answered you? Listen, there is nothing wrong with agricultural extension work, but that is not my line of work. But if that is what you wish to believe, then please go ahead, if it makes you happy. I just don’t understand this’.

Not long after, some friends said they had seen her with Jennifer eating lunch with some guys. I complained and said that I would prefer it if she went out with only me at that stage in our relationship. And if she needed to go out with others, I had to know.

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To my great surprise, she brushed it off, saying ‘but David, what is wrong with going out for lunch with friends? As for this one, I think you are doing too much?’

That was the beginning of the end.

By Ekow de Heer

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Seeing the child, not the label: Supporting children, teens with ADHD

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Attention-Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often mistaken for laziness or indiscipline. In consulting rooms across Accra and in reports from school teachers, the pattern repeats: children who are bright but forgetful, parents who feel helpless, teachers who see incompleteness.

 Research is clear-Barkley (2015) and others describe ADHD as a difference in the brain’s regulation of alertness, impulse and working memory, not a lack of effort. 

The family’s role begins with structure. Regular sleep, predictable meal and homework times, and a simple visual list (uniform → books → water → corridor) provide the external scaffolding of these children need. Praise what is completed—“You opened the book and wrote the first sentence”-instead of rebuking what is missing. 

Schools can help by seating the child front-row and centre, giving short written plus verbal instructions, allowing brief movement breaks, using quiet nonverbal cues and, where possible, grading effort and method as well as neatness. These adjustments reduce conflict and raise submission rates without lowering standards. 

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Couples and caregivers should share roles: one grounds, one pivots, and both protect rest. Shame-“bad parenting, bad child”-needs replacing with fact: different wiring, needs scaffolding. 

Outcomes improve not by promises of perfection but by daily routines, clear limits and warmed connection. One homework slot kept, one instruction chunked, one calm repair after blurting-these small wins shift the family climate and let the child be seen beyond the label. 

Resource

• CPAC (award-winning Mental Health and Counselling Facility): 0559850604 / 0551428486   

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Source: REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI’s insights on special needs support, relationships, and mental health in Ghana. He is a leading mental health professional, lecturer, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, renowned author, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE) – 0551428486 /0559850604.

WEBSITES:

https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author                     

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Smooth transfer — Part 2

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After two weeks of hectic activity up north, I drove to the Tamale airport, parked the car at the Civil Aviation car park as usual, paid the usual parking fee and boarded the plane for Accra.

Over the last two weeks, I had shuffled between three sites where work was close to completion.

One was a seed warehouse, where farmers would come and pick up good quality maize, sorghum and other planting material.

The other was a health facility for new mothers, where they were given basic training on good nutrition and small scale business.

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And the third was a set of big boreholes for three farming communities.

The projects usually ran on schedule, but a good deal of time was spent building rapport with the local people, to ensure that they would be well patronised and maintained.

It was great to be working in a situation where one’s work was well appreciated. But it certainly involved a lot of work, and proactivity. And I made sure that I recorded updates online before going to bed in the evening.

When the plane took off, my mind shifted to issues in Accra, the big city. The young guys at my office had done some good work. They had secured five or six houses on a row in a good part of the city, and were close to securing the last.

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When we got this property, unusually, Abena greeted them casually, and appeared to be comfortable in the guy’s company.

I was quite disappointed to hear that, because until the last few weeks, it seemed as if Abena and I were heading in a good direction. Apart from the affection I had for her, I liked her family. I decided to take it easy, and allow things to fall in whatever direction.

Normally I would take a taxi to her house from the airport, and pick her up to my place. This time I went to my sisters’ joint, where they sat by me while I enjoyed a drink and a good meal.

“So Little Brother,” Sister Beesiwa said, “what is it we are hearing about our wife-to-be?”

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“When did you conclude that she was your wife-to-be? And what have you heard? I’ve only heard a couple of whispers. Ebo and Nana Kwame called to say that they have seen her in the company of—”

“Well said Little Brother,” Sister Baaba said. “By the way, Nana Kwame called an hour ago to ask if you had arrived because he could not reach you. Someone had told him that Jennifer had boasted to someone that she had connected Abena to a wealthy guy who would take care of her.”

I was beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.

“In that case,” Sister Beesiwa said, “you should be glad that Abena is out of your way. She is easily swayed. Anyone who would make a relationship decision based on a friend’s instigation lacks good sense. I hope the guy is as wealthy as they say?”

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“Who gets wealthy running a supermarket chain in Ghana?” Sister Baaba said. “Our supermarkets sell mostly imported products. Look at the foreign exchange rate. And remember that Ghanaians buy second-hand shoes and clothes. Supermarkets are not good business here. Perhaps they are showing off that they are wealthy, but in reality they are not doing so well.”

“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.”

She said that David Forson was only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her. And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.

“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. We would be able to sell all five houses to one big corporate customer, and we had already spoken to a property dealer who was trying to find a buyer in order to get a good commission.

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That was going to be my biggest break. I had asked the boys to look for a large tract of land on the outskirts of the city where we could develop our own set of buildings, blocks of storey houses and upscale apartments. Things were going according to plan, and I was quietly excited. However, things were not going so well regarding my relationship with Abena.

My buddies Ebo and Nana Kwame had called to say that they met Abena and her friend Jennifer enjoying lunch with a guy, and Ebo believed that Jennifer was ‘promoting’ an affair between Jennifer and the guy. They were of the view that the promotion seemed to be going in the guy’s favour, because only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her.

And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.

“As I’ve already said, I will stop by her place, but I will mind my own business from now. Hey, let’s talk family. How are our parents? And my brothers-in-law? And my nephews and nieces? Why don’t we meet on Sunday? I’m going to drop my bags at my place, and go to see Mama and Dad.”

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