Features
Quaffing beer in another
Joseph Kwame Korkorti started hating imposters the day a set of beautiful identical twin dames began playing pseudo-love and dangerous financial games with him. He had met one of the dazzling chocolate-coloured twins and wasted no time in proposing love to her. She was not interested.
The next time Korkorti met the broad, he thought she was an angel. Her face shown of a certain bright-ness and Korkorti’s heart melted. Oh, what celestial beauty! What glory on a human face! Should he sing in her honour or pour forth his love in poetic stanza?
He approached her and they had a chat and Korkorti thought he was in truly heaven. “I love you, I adore you,” he heard himself confessing again. The coy little angel with melting eyes was touched by Korkorti’s show of love and affection. She agreed to the proposal this time. Korkorti never knew it was the other twin.
However, it was not long before he realised he was dealing with two different angels. Unable to tell which his true lover was, both started playing games with him now, one impersonating the other sometimes. When he thought he was giving a gift to his lover, the recipient turned out to be the one who rejected his love. He just couldn’t differentiate between the two. What confusion!
Korkorti thought over the matter for some time and decided he was not born with foolishness in his bones. Moreover he was not the kind of guy who washes his face upwards every morning! He called it quits.
When Korkorti told me about it I was sorry for him. At the time, he was only a little teenager and had little experience in matters of the heart. If it were today, it would have been a different palaver. He would have seduced both of them, said a big thank you, and ran away to take financial cover.
I have always wished that the twins had rather encountered my good friend Lama. The Lama today is an international businessman with the kind of acumen and oratorical genius any politician would envy. I see him as a political philosopher, a man of deeper thoughts. Some see him as a realist, others as an idealist. At best he is both, at worst he is none.
He has several university degrees and diplomas hanging all over him. In those days when we were young, he was a delight of the ladies and the twins would certainly have been in for what they never dreamt of.
Well, impersonating in Sikaman or elsewhere has turned out not to be too difficult. White people coming to Africa for the first time see all blacks as having the same kind of face the same broad forehead, thick lips, and powerful nose, whatever.
So you can show your uncle’s passport to a white immigration officer and he’d immediately see your face in the picture. Even when you alert him to the fact that your nose is broader than the one in the picture, he’d pat you on the shoulder, “Sonny, that’s your nose alright. The dimension is clean. It couldn’t be wider. Have a nice stay in the US.”
It is the same way blacks see whites and the yellow-skinned. I personally find it extremely difficult to distinguish one Korean from another or even a Korean from a Chinese. They have the same style of walking, dancing, snoring, etc.
FULL-TIME
Impersonation has become a full time job for some people in Sikaman. That is how they live, feed their families, pay bills and even sponsor the beauty of their girlfriends.
Not all who go around claiming they are Castle officials have ever seen even the Castle gate before. But they have very beautiful Castle ID cards, several forged documents that are properly stamped and they have the kind of tongue that can deceive even the devil. Fraud is their speciality.
I wasn’t surprised to learn that even ladies are in the con business so soon after Beijing. One is seriously presenting herself as having connections with the First Lady’s and living fat on it.
I have always said that ladies can be better con artists and impostors because no one really equates a woman with lies especially in matters bordering on fraud. She may not even need an ID card. She’d only have to say she is the special assistant to the First Lady and she is believed just because she is well-dressed and smiles like the First Lady.
As for the President, people have used his name to over-feed themselves. Sometimes they only have to recount falsely how they were J.J’s playmate and how their friendship has developed to the extent that the President has made them Special Castle agents. They’ve never met the President anywhere, anyway.
“J.J. doesn’t play with me at all,” they’d swear. “Even today today, I eat with him from the same plate. I do very special jobs for him. I even shape his moustache for him. Bring ¢600,000 and I’ll solve your problem for you. Add $50,000 for transportation and incidentals.” You’ve been duped clean.
Impersonation is not only at the highest level of the social or political ladder. Midway, you can experience it and often crooks have impersonated journalists.
Sometime past, someone went around the capital claiming to be the writer of the evergreen Baafuor column of the Weekly Spectator. People were buying him beer left and right and his stomach turned out to be a living brewery.
It was not long before he was found out by his benefactors. And he was given the kind of slap that probably made him feel dizzy for two weeks. Next time he thinks about beer and Baafuor, he’d remember he once felt dizzy non-stop for a fortnight.
I was in the office one Monday when I had a call.
“Yes, Merari, speaking.”
“Merari, thanks very much. I received the papers.”
“What papers?”
“The newspapers you sent this morning. I liked the story.”
“I am not getting you, sir,” I said.” I never sent you any paper this morning.”
“Perhaps, you’ve forgotten. A certain man came and said Merari Alomele asked him to send the papers to me. I gave him $2,000 for transport.”
“Then you’ve mean conned,” I told him laughing.
On three other occasions I received similar calls. I don’t know whether people are also drinking beer in my name. But the day I get someone quaffing in my name, I believe the slap would be quite terrific. The person would have to go in for tetanus injection to abate the effect.
This article was first published on Saturday, August 24, 1996
Features
Beyond the polished glass: everyday scenes at Accra mall trotro station – Part 1
Just outside the polished glass doors of Accra Mall, a different reality unfolds. Amid the traffic, street vendors, commuters and child beggars, the city’s energy flows in sharp contrast to the calm and luxury within.
It is 4pm on a humid Wednesday afternoon outside Accra Mall. In the traffic surrounding the mall, Toyota Corollas, Nissan Navara’s, Kia Morning, Trotros, Mercedes-Benz cars crawl bumper to bumper. They inch their way around the roundabout connecting Spintex Road to the Tema Motorway. Drivers tap their horns repeatedly as the wait grows longer. Passersby slip between the vehicles, weaving their way to the trotro station, roadside stalls or side streets leading to their destinations.
Just beyond the traffic and noise, Accra Mall rises at the heart of the city, bright and busy with shops, eateries and cinemas gathered under one roof. Inside, the contrast is immediate. The air-conditioning hums steadily, keeping the space crisp and cool while shoppers move between stores with bags in hand containing new clothes, gadgets, perfumes and other small luxuries paid for in clean cedis. At the food court, children giggle over ice cream while friends lean over pizza boxes. The smell of fresh popcorn hangs in the air near the cinema entrance.
Since opening in 2008, Accra Mall has stood as one of the city’s most visited commercial hubs. But the calm inside ends at the door. The atmosphere shifts from cool air and clean cedis to constant movement, long waits, and daily survival. Just beyond the mall, the air is thick with heat, blaring horns, and exhaust fumes. It carries the struggle of people whose day does not end with a shopping receipt.
According to MIT’s Atlas of Popular Transport, Trotros carry over 3.5 million passenger trips each weekday and remain the dominant form of public transport, serving more than 70 per cent of Greater Accra’s commuters. Even without precise daily figures, their presence is unmistakable in the routines of Accra’s residents navigating work, school, and trade across the capital.
This scene plays out daily along the busy stretch near Accra Mall, where traffic slows to a crawl and “trotro” queues stretch along the roadside. At the roundabout, beneath a weathered police canopy, a plus-size policewoman in a bright green traffic vest has surrendered to sleep. She lies stretched on a long bench, mouth wide open, chin tilted skyward, as if the whine of horns and coughing engines were lullabies. A few steps away, a male officer in a matching vest, tasked with directing the traffic, stands by the roadside with his hands buried in his pockets, eyes fixed on the parade of cars inching forward and honking in frustration.
Across the street, Accra Mall’s Street commerce bursts into activity. Makeshift stalls are lined up tightly along the roadside. Racks of ready-made African clothing sway in the dusty breeze. Sandals are arranged neatly on plastic sheets. Beaded necklaces in red, blue and gold catch both sunlight and the attention of people passing by.
With Eyram, the Tale Berear
Features
Monsieur’s daughter —(Part 5)
By the time he returned to Ghana, David had gained solid financial muscle. With his wife as project director, he established Plant Warehouse, a company which rented out equipment to construction and mining companies.
The head office was in Accra, but most of their equipment were based in Kumasi and Tarkwa. With solid links with firms in Germany, he had no difficulty mobilising equipment, and clients were pleasantly surprised at the range of machines available, and the quality of service.
Although he had become quite wealthy, he kept a low profile, spending most of his free time with his wife and two daughters. In addition to taking good care of his parents and numerous relatives, he did quite a few charitable works in his hometown, Aboso and other parts without drawing attention to himself.
He donated computers and a pick-up truck to the Aboso Senior High School. And of course, he donated books and audio-visual materials for the study of French. He insisted that no publicity whatsoever be given to these donations, apart from the formal handing over to the Regional Education Director.
His two daughters, Abrefi and Adaawa, had more than compensated for the treachery he suffered at the hands of Gladys, the woman with whom he had had that unfortunate false start in life.
Regrettable as that episode was, it had given him the momentum to relaunch his career. He had closed that chapter, as his parents had advised.
Once in a while he was tempted to reflect on the daughter that was quite clearly his, but he stood on the declaration made by his father, that if she was truly his, God would take care of her and she would return to him. So far, there was no sign of her. Well…
After the company was fully established, Adoma stopped participating in management to concentrate on managing the home, and providing effective support to the children.
But she established good rapport with the company’s drivers, technicians and other technical workers. Very often, she would go to the offices to support her husband.
As they were retiring to bed one evening, Adoma raised the issue of their past at Aboso.
‘I sometimes wonder what would have happened to me if you and Gladys had enjoyed a peaceful marriage’.
‘A very handsome young man would have met you, taken you to Germany, raised some capital and returned with you to start a company, and a family. And you would have enjoyed a very peaceful marriage’.
‘And who would that man be’.
‘He would have been called David’. She collapsed with laughter’.
‘I used to wonder whether I did right by leaking information about Gladys to you’.
‘I would certainly have gotten to know. You know the kind of revulsion people feel when a recently married person gets involved in a scandal, especially in a small community like Aboso.
Some of our colleagues knew, and were about to tell me anyway. I would certainly have gotten to know. And I would have taken the same action I took. I certainly didn’t deserve to be treated like that. And as to whether I should have attempted to take Sarah away from her, that woman would have done anything to make my life miserable.
She could have moved her from place to place to prevent me finding her, and she would have refused to cooperate with any agency we reported her to my parents’ advise was the best’.
‘I wonder, though, whether we should make some effort to find out about how she is doing. After all, she is your child. Of course, we should do this very carefully. I don’t think she has forgiven you for leaving her’.
‘I’m sure she hasn’t, but she did it to herself, didn’t she? What was the guarantee that she wouldn’t be seeing him later in our marriage? That kind of behaviour is often repeated. I don’t regret the decision I took, at all.
I would do the same thing today, given the same situation. And don’t forget, you and I were destined to be together as man and wife. It should have happened earlier, but it still happened. Thank you very much for marrying me’.
‘I’m also grateful to you for marrying me. But before you fall asleep, shall we take some careful steps to find out about Sarah?’
‘Yes. You know, I’ve been receiving snippets of information every now and then, but I’ve forgotten to update you. You already know that she’s in JHS three in a school at Koforidua, Research Basic and Junior High.
It’s quite a good school, run by the research institutions in the Eastern Region. She’s doing quite well in class, from what I hear, so hopefully she will qualify for university.
Gladys and Simon are still married, and they have two children, so Sarah will be growing in some kind of decent family situation. I hear though, that all is not going well with Simon’s job, and the marriage is not a very strong one. I hope they are at least managing to take good care of their kids.
I will certainly make a direct effort to contact Sarah after she’s completed JHS. She would be old enough to make a decent choice, and I hope that in spite of whatever feelings she has against me, Gladys will realise the financial advantage of allowing me to take my child’.
‘I’m happy she’s doing well in school. But I hope we can get some inside information on her emotional status. Unstable marriages often have a significant effect on kids, especially stepchildren’.
‘You are right. From what I have learnt, Gladys is the one who runs the show in the house, so I don’t think Simon will get the opportunity to mistreat Sarah. But as I said, I will start sniffing for more information’.
‘We do have to start preparing for the possibility of her joining us here, sooner or later. I’m not talking about material stuff. We can certainly take care of her. But she needs to blend well with her siblings. I’m glad we’ve already told them about her’.
‘Many thanks for that. We should have another discussion with them quite soon. I’m sure we can integrate her smoothly. There may be difficulties, but we will overcome them’.
‘One very final thing, David. Shouldn’t we speak to Lawyer Acheampong, just in case one or two legal issues arise?’
‘Yes! Of course! How come I never thought of that? I will call him first thing tomorrow. I don’t think any such issues may arise, but it will be wise not to take precautions. Thank you, sweetheart’.
‘We do have to start preparing for the possibility of her joining us here, sooner or later. I’m not talking about material stuff. We can certainly take care of her. But she needs to blend well with her siblings. I’m glad we’ve already told them about her’.
By Ekow de Heer