Features
Quaffing beer in another
Joseph Kwame Korkorti started hating imposters the day a set of beautiful identical twin dames began playing pseudo-love and dangerous financial games with him. He had met one of the dazzling chocolate-coloured twins and wasted no time in proposing love to her. She was not interested.
The next time Korkorti met the broad, he thought she was an angel. Her face shown of a certain bright-ness and Korkorti’s heart melted. Oh, what celestial beauty! What glory on a human face! Should he sing in her honour or pour forth his love in poetic stanza?
He approached her and they had a chat and Korkorti thought he was in truly heaven. “I love you, I adore you,” he heard himself confessing again. The coy little angel with melting eyes was touched by Korkorti’s show of love and affection. She agreed to the proposal this time. Korkorti never knew it was the other twin.
However, it was not long before he realised he was dealing with two different angels. Unable to tell which his true lover was, both started playing games with him now, one impersonating the other sometimes. When he thought he was giving a gift to his lover, the recipient turned out to be the one who rejected his love. He just couldn’t differentiate between the two. What confusion!
Korkorti thought over the matter for some time and decided he was not born with foolishness in his bones. Moreover he was not the kind of guy who washes his face upwards every morning! He called it quits.
When Korkorti told me about it I was sorry for him. At the time, he was only a little teenager and had little experience in matters of the heart. If it were today, it would have been a different palaver. He would have seduced both of them, said a big thank you, and ran away to take financial cover.
I have always wished that the twins had rather encountered my good friend Lama. The Lama today is an international businessman with the kind of acumen and oratorical genius any politician would envy. I see him as a political philosopher, a man of deeper thoughts. Some see him as a realist, others as an idealist. At best he is both, at worst he is none.
He has several university degrees and diplomas hanging all over him. In those days when we were young, he was a delight of the ladies and the twins would certainly have been in for what they never dreamt of.
Well, impersonating in Sikaman or elsewhere has turned out not to be too difficult. White people coming to Africa for the first time see all blacks as having the same kind of face the same broad forehead, thick lips, and powerful nose, whatever.
So you can show your uncle’s passport to a white immigration officer and he’d immediately see your face in the picture. Even when you alert him to the fact that your nose is broader than the one in the picture, he’d pat you on the shoulder, “Sonny, that’s your nose alright. The dimension is clean. It couldn’t be wider. Have a nice stay in the US.”
It is the same way blacks see whites and the yellow-skinned. I personally find it extremely difficult to distinguish one Korean from another or even a Korean from a Chinese. They have the same style of walking, dancing, snoring, etc.
FULL-TIME
Impersonation has become a full time job for some people in Sikaman. That is how they live, feed their families, pay bills and even sponsor the beauty of their girlfriends.
Not all who go around claiming they are Castle officials have ever seen even the Castle gate before. But they have very beautiful Castle ID cards, several forged documents that are properly stamped and they have the kind of tongue that can deceive even the devil. Fraud is their speciality.
I wasn’t surprised to learn that even ladies are in the con business so soon after Beijing. One is seriously presenting herself as having connections with the First Lady’s and living fat on it.
I have always said that ladies can be better con artists and impostors because no one really equates a woman with lies especially in matters bordering on fraud. She may not even need an ID card. She’d only have to say she is the special assistant to the First Lady and she is believed just because she is well-dressed and smiles like the First Lady.
As for the President, people have used his name to over-feed themselves. Sometimes they only have to recount falsely how they were J.J’s playmate and how their friendship has developed to the extent that the President has made them Special Castle agents. They’ve never met the President anywhere, anyway.
“J.J. doesn’t play with me at all,” they’d swear. “Even today today, I eat with him from the same plate. I do very special jobs for him. I even shape his moustache for him. Bring ¢600,000 and I’ll solve your problem for you. Add $50,000 for transportation and incidentals.” You’ve been duped clean.
Impersonation is not only at the highest level of the social or political ladder. Midway, you can experience it and often crooks have impersonated journalists.
Sometime past, someone went around the capital claiming to be the writer of the evergreen Baafuor column of the Weekly Spectator. People were buying him beer left and right and his stomach turned out to be a living brewery.
It was not long before he was found out by his benefactors. And he was given the kind of slap that probably made him feel dizzy for two weeks. Next time he thinks about beer and Baafuor, he’d remember he once felt dizzy non-stop for a fortnight.
I was in the office one Monday when I had a call.
“Yes, Merari, speaking.”
“Merari, thanks very much. I received the papers.”
“What papers?”
“The newspapers you sent this morning. I liked the story.”
“I am not getting you, sir,” I said.” I never sent you any paper this morning.”
“Perhaps, you’ve forgotten. A certain man came and said Merari Alomele asked him to send the papers to me. I gave him $2,000 for transport.”
“Then you’ve mean conned,” I told him laughing.
On three other occasions I received similar calls. I don’t know whether people are also drinking beer in my name. But the day I get someone quaffing in my name, I believe the slap would be quite terrific. The person would have to go in for tetanus injection to abate the effect.
This article was first published on Saturday, August 24, 1996
I experienced something on Monday, June 15, that really frustrated me. I had to go to the ministries but I could not get up early that day so I decided to pick a taxi and get to the Tuba Junction.
When I got there I realised that Traffic had built up from the Toll Booth towards Accra. After a while I got a Taxi and it was when we got to a certain spot on the road, that I realised why there was a traffic jam.
There is a short stretch of the road where each time it rains heavily, loose material run down the hill onto the road, blocking one side of the road. Vehicles from Kasoa to Accra are then forced to move into one of the lanes of those going towards Kasoa from Accra.
The two lane road from Accra to Kasoa becomes a single carriage way. That was the reason for the traffic jam from the toll booth onwards.
This has been a perineal problem and yet, no permanent solution has been found till date. The area falls under Ga South and even though, a new MCE has taken over, the technocrats are still there and so the problem is not new to them.
There is therefore no excuse for the inability of the Ga South Metropolitan Assembly to resolving the problem on that stretch of the road. Apart from the Ga South Metropolitan Assembly, another institution that must be held accountable is the Ghana Highways Authority.
The Highways Authority cannot say they are unaware of this issue. The fact that the problem falls within the area of responsibility of the Ga South Assembly, does not relieve the Ghana Highways Authority, of their responsibility of ensuring that our highways are maintained in a motorable state at all times.
A collaboration between the Ghana Highways Authority and The Ga South Municipal Assembly is required for a permanent resolution of the problem.
There was another traffic jam at a place called Atala about 250 metres to the traffic light at Old Barrier as a result of an issue similar to the one close to the toll booth, that I talked about earlier.
When we got to Weija junction, we encountered another traffic jam. The cause of this jam was a bad condition of road about 80 metres from the traffic light at Ga South Hospital heading towards Accra.
Due to the bad nature at that section of the road, vehicles are compelled to slow down resulting in a traffic jam stretching all the way to Weija Junction.
I started wondering if that short stretch of road cannot be sorted on one Sunday when traffic is usually light. When we got to the traffic light at Odorkor, there was another issue.
When the traffic light shows green, there is a slow down because there is a big pothole or should I say manhole in the outer lane, right at the traffic light. Vehicles in the outer lane are compelled to swerve into the second lane thereby causing a traffic to slow down and resulting in a traffic jam.
It is very important to take into account the effect of traffic jam on the national economy. If we are able to assess the value of the loss to the economy of the nation, I believe the issue of traffic jam will be prioritised.
Imagine persons working at various Government Organisations like Registrar General’s Department, Ghana Ports and Habours Authority, Ghana Revenue Authority, CEPS etc. and lives at Kasoa and whose job is to collect revenue for the state and is held up in traffic.
Just imagine the effect their lateness to work will have on the economy if you consider the delays in say clearing of goods at the port and as a result traders cannot sell their goods for government to generate the required taxes.
Let us deal with the traffic jams on our streets to promote economic growth. God bless.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
Mortality is an inherent aspect of life, a universal experience that has sparked philosophical, theological, and scientific inquiry throughout human history.
This article aims to provide a comprehensive and nuanced exploration of mortality, acknowledging the complexity of the topic and the diverse perspectives surrounding it.
The biological imperative
From a biological standpoint, death is a natural part of the life cycle. It serves as a mechanism for the evolution of species, allowing for the passing on of genetic material and the adaptation to environmental changes.
Evolutionary perspective: Death allows for the recycling of resources, promoting the survival and adaptation of species.
Life span and senescence: Cellular aging and the limitations of biological systems contribute to mortality.
Philosophical and existential perspectives
Existentialism: Emphasises individual freedom and responsibility in the face of mortality.
Meaning and purpose: The finite nature of life can prompt individuals to seek meaning and purpose.
The human condition: Mortality is a fundamental aspect of the human experience, shaping our perceptions and values.
Cultural and spiritual views
Afterlife and spirituality: Many cultures and religions believe in an afterlife or spiritual continuation.
Rituals and mourning: Cultural practices surrounding death reflect the significance of mortality in human experience.
Legacy and remembrance: The impact of one’s life can transcend mortality.
Ethical considerations
End-of-life care: Ethical debates surround issues like euthanasia, assisted dying, and palliative care.
Quality of life: Balancing the value of life with the quality of life is a complex ethical issue.
Resource allocation: Societal decisions about healthcare and resource distribution involve considerations of mortality.
Psychological impact
Grief and loss: The experience of mortality can evoke profound emotional responses.
Fear and anxiety: The awareness of mortality can lead to existential anxiety.
Appreciation and gratitude: Recognising mortality can foster appreciation for life.
Conclusion
Mortality is a multifaceted aspect of human existence, influencing how we live, relate, and find meaning. Understanding and acknowledging mortality can prompt deeper reflections on life and our place in the world.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson
