Obaa Yaa
My sister’s husband is making advances at me
We lost our father when our eldest brother was nine years old and l was three years by then.
My father was the bread-winner of the family and we enjoyed unconditional love from him and his preparedness to give us any assistance we needed.
Following his demise, l envisaged the trouble that awaited my mother who must single-handedly cater for us.
A good friend of my father occasionally assisted in paying our school fees and further sponsored our eldest brother to the university, and arranged for one of his cousins to marry my elder sister.
My sister’s husband has been very supportive of my family based on this, my sister asked that l should stay with her and the husband wholeheartedly agreed to the relief to my mother.
Though there is joy in the house and things are moving on well, my sister’s husband is making fast advances at me.
On the first occasion, he opened the door when l was bathing and my sister had gone to the hospital to weigh her child.
Having realised the shock in my face, he quickly apologised and said it was a mistake and that he did not know l was there.
I took him for his word and accepted his apology as coming from a genuine heart. After a week, he touched my buttocks when l was washing. I chuckled and told him to stop such acts else l would inform my sister.
He later gave me GH¢2,000.00 and asked me not to tell my sister about the incident and that he had given me money to seal my mouth.
This man entered my room one night and wanted to sleep with me when my sister was taking her bath. He pleaded with me that he would give me more money if l allowed him to sleep with me.
I am now disturbed because my sister will not take it kindly if she gets to know of any intimate relationship between her husband and me.
What should l do to avoid shame and save my sister’s marriage?
Araba, Cape Coast.
Dear Araba,
Thank God that you have not succumbed to his sexual desires which will definitely stain your character and probably destroy your future.
This man should not hide behind his generosity to make a fool of you and bring enmity between you and your sister. It will be an abominable act if you allow him to have his way and your sister will not trust you in life as this will forever spoil the relationship between you and your sister.
It is important for you to leave the house in order to maintain your respect and save the marriage of your sister.
You must confide in your mother who will persuade your sister to release you to return to your mother’s place.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
