Obaa Yaa
My friend’s ex-girl expresses interest in me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My friend has been in love with a girl for the past two years. Their relationship has been lovely that they have planned to marry.
Unfortunately, with the twist of events, my friend has stopped moving with the lady without any tangible explanation. I have tried to convince him to change his decision but he would not listen.
A month later, the girl called me that she would like to pay me a visit. Having considered her my friend’s former girl friend, l allowed her to visit me with the reason that she would like to discuss my friend’s conduct with me.
During interactions, she told me she had made a mistake in accepting my friend’s proposal to be his girlfriend. According to her, she wished she were my wife because l am a cool-tempered, quiet, tolerant and a humble person.
I informed my friend about this sudden change of mind of his girl friend. Surprisingly, he encouraged me to go ahead, since he was no longer interested in her.
Advise me on the right action to take.
Kodzo, Accra.
Dear Kodzo,
Though your friend has given you the green light to proceed because he is no longer interested, you must know that the acceptance of this offer would forever strain your relationship with him.
This is an indication that this girl has observed you for a long time and has secretly developed the love for you.
He might have given you the encouragement to go ahead, as a face-saving gesture which did not come from his heart. Though he might have willingly gone for another lady, the element of envy would definitely be in him against you if you go ahead to marry the lady.
Reject the suggestion from this lady and have your peace of mind. Despite her compliments, you must be bold to explain to her that you cannot do the unthinkable because of her previous relationship with your close friend.
Make her to understand that you are not the best man around, and that she will meet a man of her heart very soon.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
*****************************************************************************************
Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
***************************************************************************************
Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
