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Monsieur’s daughter —(Part 4)
By the time he returned to Ghana, David had gained solid financial muscle. With his wife as project director, he established Plant Warehouse, a company which rented out equipment to construction and mining companies.
The head office was in Accra, but most of their equipment were based in Kumasi and Tarkwa. With solid links with firms in Germany, he had no difficulty mobilising equipment, and clients were pleasantly surprised at the range of machines available, and the quality of service.
Although he had become quite wealthy, he kept a low profile, spending most of his free time with his wife and two daughters. In addition to taking good care of his parents and numerous relatives, he did quite a few charitable works in his hometown, Aboso and other parts without drawing attention to himself.
He donated computers and a pick-up truck to the Aboso Senior High School. And of course, he donated books and audio-visual materials for the study of French. He insisted that no publicity whatsoever be given to these donations, apart from the formal handing over to the Regional Education Director.
His two daughters, Abrefi and Adaawa, had more than compensated for the treachery he suffered at the hands of Gladys, the woman with whom he had had that unfortunate false start in life.
Regrettable as that episode was, it had given him the momentum to relaunch his career. He had closed that chapter, as his parents had advised.
Once in a while he was tempted to reflect on the daughter that was quite clearly his, but he stood on the declaration made by his father, that if she was truly his, God would take care of her and she would return to him. So far, there was no sign of her. Well…
After the company was fully established, Adoma stopped participating in management to concentrate on managing the home, and providing effective support to the children.
But she established good rapport with the company’s drivers, technicians and other technical workers. Very often, she would go to the offices to support her husband.
As they were retiring to bed one evening, Adoma raised the issue of their past at Aboso.
‘I sometimes wonder what would have happened to me if you and Gladys had enjoyed a peaceful marriage’.
‘A very handsome young man would have met you, taken you to Germany, raised some capital and returned with you to start a company, and a family. And you would have enjoyed a very peaceful marriage’.
‘And who would that man be’.
‘He would have been called David’. She collapsed with laughter’.
‘I used to wonder whether I did right by leaking information about Gladys to you’.
‘I would certainly have gotten to know. You know the kind of revulsion people feel when a recently married person gets involved in a scandal, especially in a small community like Aboso.
Some of our colleagues knew, and were about to tell me anyway. I would certainly have gotten to know. And I would have taken the same action I took. I certainly didn’t deserve to be treated like that. And as to whether I should have attempted to take Sarah away from her, that woman would have done anything to make my life miserable.
She could have moved her from place to place to prevent me finding her, and she would have refused to cooperate with any agency we reported her to my parents’ advise was the best’.
‘I wonder, though, whether we should make some effort to find out about how she is doing. After all, she is your child. Of course, we should do this very carefully. I don’t think she has forgiven you for leaving her’.
‘I’m sure she hasn’t, but she did it to herself, didn’t she? What was the guarantee that she wouldn’t be seeing him later in our marriage? That kind of behaviour is often repeated. I don’t regret the decision I took, at all.
I would do the same thing today, given the same situation. And don’t forget, you and I were destined to be together as man and wife. It should have happened earlier, but it still happened. Thank you very much for marrying me’.
‘I’m also grateful to you for marrying me. But before you fall asleep, shall we take some careful steps to find out about Sarah?’
‘Yes. You know, I’ve been receiving snippets of information every now and then, but I’ve forgotten to update you. You already know that she’s in JHS three in a school at Koforidua, Research Basic and Junior High.
It’s quite a good school, run by the research institutions in the Eastern Region. She’s doing quite well in class, from what I hear, so hopefully she will qualify for university.
Gladys and Simon are still married, and they have two children, so Sarah will be growing in some kind of decent family situation. I hear though, that all is not going well with Simon’s job, and the marriage is not a very strong one. I hope they are at least managing to take good care of their kids.
I will certainly make a direct effort to contact Sarah after she’s completed JHS. She would be old enough to make a decent choice, and I hope that in spite of whatever feelings she has against me, Gladys will realise the financial advantage of allowing me to take my child’.
‘I’m happy she’s doing well in school. But I hope we can get some inside information on her emotional status. Unstable marriages often have a significant effect on kids, especially stepchildren’.
‘You are right. From what I have learnt, Gladys is the one who runs the show in the house, so I don’t think Simon will get the opportunity to mistreat Sarah. But as I said, I will start sniffing for more information’.
‘We do have to start preparing for the possibility of her joining us here, sooner or later. I’m not talking about material stuff. We can certainly take care of her. But she needs to blend well with her siblings. I’m glad we’ve already told them about her’.
‘Many thanks for that. We should have another discussion with them quite soon. I’m sure we can integrate her smoothly. There may be difficulties, but we will overcome them’.
‘One very final thing, David. Shouldn’t we speak to Lawyer Acheampong, just in case one or two legal issues arise?’
‘Yes! Of course! How come I never thought of that? I will call him first thing tomorrow. I don’t think any such issues may arise, but it will be wise not to take precautions. Thank you, sweetheart’.
By Ekow de Heer
In the pursuit of nurturing healthy, fulfilling relationships, we often focus on understanding our partners, communicating effectively, and navigating conflicts. However, a crucial element is frequently overlooked: self-awareness.
Understanding ourselves is the foundation upon which successful relationships are built. Imagine being in a relationship where every conversation feels like a minefield, and every disagreement leaves you wondering if you are truly understood.
Now, picture a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and valued—not because your partner has magically figured you out, but because you have taken the time to understand yourself. This is the transformative power of self-awareness in relationships.
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is the capacity to reflect on ourselves, acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, and taking responsibility for our actions. With self-awareness, we are better equipped to manage our emotions, respond to situations more thoughtfully, and make informed decisions that align with our values.
How Self-Awareness Impacts Relationships
- Improved Communication:
When we are aware of our own emotions and needs, we can communicate them more effectively to our partner, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts. By recognising our tendency to become defensive in certain situations, we can take a step back, breathe, and respond more constructively. - Increased Empathy:
Self-awareness allows us to recognise and manage our own biases, enabling us to be more empathetic and understanding towards our partner’s perspective. By acknowledging our own emotional triggers, we can respond to our partner’s needs with more compassion. - Healthier Boundaries:
By understanding our own needs and limits, we can establish and maintain healthy boundaries, preventing codependency and resentment. Self-awareness helps us communicate our boundaries clearly and respectfully, fostering mutual respect in relationships. - Personal Growth:
Self-awareness fosters personal growth, enabling us to work on our flaws and become a better partner, friend, and individual. As we develop self-awareness, we become more resilient, adaptable, and better equipped to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and purpose.
Cultivating Self-Awareness
- Mindfulness and Reflection:
Regular mindfulness practices and self-reflection can help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself. Schedule time for reflection, whether through journaling, meditating, or simply taking a quiet walk in nature. - Journaling:
Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can provide valuable insights into your motivations and behaviors. Reflect on your journal entries to identify patterns, gain clarity, and develop a greater understanding of yourself. - Seek Feedback:
Ask trusted friends, family, or a therapist at Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) for feedback on your strengths and areas for improvement. Be open to constructive criticism and use it as an opportunity for growth and self-awareness. - Embrace Imperfection:
Recognise that nobody is perfect, and it is okay to make mistakes. This mindset allows you to approach self-awareness with kindness and compassion, fostering a more positive and growth-oriented relationship with yourself.
As we cultivate self-awareness, we embark on a journey of growth, discovery, and transformation. By understanding ourselves, we can build stronger, more resilient relationships, and live a more authentic, meaningful life. Self-awareness is not a destination; it is a continuous process of learning, growing, and evolving—and one that requires patience, kindness, and compassion towards ourselves and others.
In conclusion, self-awareness is the cornerstone of healthy, fulfilling relationships. By understanding ourselves, we can communicate more effectively, empathise with our partner, and cultivate personal growth. As we strive to build stronger relationships, let us prioritise self-awareness, embracing our true selves, and loving ourselves for who we are. By doing so, we will become better partners, friends, and individuals—capable of building more profound, lasting connections with others, and living a life that truly reflects our values and aspirations.
To be continued …
By Counselor Prince Offei
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ONE profession which society has battled with is prostitution. Prostitutes can’t be stopped in their tracks. Soldiers have tried, policemen have doubled and redoubled to keep them off the streets. But the prostitute is like the cockroach. Sack it from the kitchen and it moves to the toilet where it can enjoy self-contained facilities. Drive it away from there and it scurries to the bedroom to become the landlord.
Prostitutes can live on land and sea. They are mysterious and defy gravity, a feat—even birds of the air have not successfully accomplished. They can change form and appear as bar girls; they dress like students; act like scholars and speak Oxford English. They are also like the chameleon but once their clients can identify them, no problem. The Sikaman prostitute normally enters the business as an amateur, having been introduced by a professional or a caricature of a pimp. But she learns quickly.
In a short time, she is able to take any size without wailing, unless of course the size is “international”.
Prostitutes are of every tribe, height, weight, colour and notoriety. These days, some are well-schooled with diplomas and degrees. They enter into the world’s oldest profession due to factors ranging from poverty to nymphomania.
Most prostitutes in Sikaman are often not sophisticated in outlook and modus operandi. Often, they easily betray themselves with their gaudy appearance, over-painted faces, skimpy skirts, cigarette in hand, walking with that kind of bottom-wriggling gait that can instantly turn a devoted clergyman into a he-goat.
In developed countries like Spain, prostitution takes different forms. Apart from those you can grab from the cheap bars and ghettos for single night stands and those managed by shameless pimps, there are some who are organised by well-established syndicates and specialised agencies.
If you need a girl for the night, you only have to telephone an agency, describing the kind and breed you want—race, height, size, colour (chocolate?), rudeness, smoking type, strip-teasing, shyness, whatever.
You give your address and the girl on time. You pay by the hour and cost per hour can make you feel dizzy without falling down. You’ll still be steady for the showdown.
The girls have been trained to use tricks and communication skills to make their clients spend several hours without really doing anything. A typical prostitute will make you drink, chat at length (they are very knowledgeable), cook for you, bathe you and breast-feed you. That takes some three hours and you have to pay if you still want her services.
If you grow a bit wiser and protest, and insist vehemently that you are tired of being babied and want some real action now, she’ll do another hour of strip-tease and belly-dance by which time you’re either bored or charged to bursting point.
And finally you will do it but never without a condom. And the kind of condom she’ll give you can’t be torn by any knife around the globe, not even okapi. Before you’re finally through, you’ve got some five-hour helluva bill to pay. Next time round, you’ll think twice and go in for the cheap-side who’ll even allow you to do it without condoms if you are tired of living and want to die of AIDS.
In Sikaman, apart from those who operate from hotels and bars, some operate in private homes. The clients come and line-up, each with a hard-on. When the queue is not moving fast some begin to sweat because they have a very low sexual boiling point. If they are not ushered in quickly they can cause problems.
They’ll start grunting and stamping and can disrupt the peaceful and orderly procedure. As it were, such clients need priority attention so that they do not cause a riot and disturb the public peace.
Incidentally, prostitutes don’t like dealing with such clients because they are bad business. They have no biblical patience at all. They rush too much, and that was why a prostitute once asked a client whether he was a Russian because he rushed a bit too much and messed up things.
Prostitution in Sikaman has taken a new turn. Girls as little as sixteen are selling their bodies sometimes with the passive connivance of their mothers. When the girls go out at 9.00 p.m. and return at 3.00 a.m, their mothers let them in without asking questions. Next day, the house is properly fed from the proceeds of the night adventure and everybody is happy and nobody talks. If you talk, no breakfast for you tomorrow morning.
The police are doing quite a job trying to get them off the streets but they go and return just like the cockroach. Many of them are surely agents for the transmission of the AIDS virus because they permit clients to forgo the condom. They only have to pay extra for the “raw” service.
Now, the idea of legalising prostitution has been a very controversial one. If prostitutes can hardly be gotten off the streets since they are defiant and are now very many, why not legalise the profession, issue licences (not to kids), offer them health services and health education, teach them how to protect themselves and others from sexually transmitted diseases and then compel them to pay tax?
That would force children out of the trade because the legal operators will themselves force out the kids who will be competing with them. They would even assist the police to kick out the 15 and 16 year olds.
If a bad phenomenon cannot be wiped out, a way must be found to make it less and less harmless, so that while it doesn’t benefit society in any grand way, it does not also harm it.
Any suggestions?
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