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Monsieur’s daughter —(Part 3)
Things were falling in place for Simon Ababio, at long last. He graduated with a degree in biology, and started off with high hopes. He got a job with a research organisation near Koforidua, where his family had settled some twenty years earlier.
He was granted study leave with pay to do a post-graduate course in plant research in the US. He managed to complete it, with great difficulty, but he decided to get a job and put some money in his pocket before returning to Ghana. More than three years later, he had virtually no money to show for his time in the US.
His employers had terminated his employment, and his sweetheart Gladys had informed him that she had entered a relationship with someone else, because for three years he had not bothered to communicate with her.
On his father’s advice, he came back home and, after pleading with his employers, was reinstated. He tracked Gladys down to Aboso. Initially she was quite unpleasant, pointing it out that she was happily married and no longer interested in an affair with a loser.
Quite stung, he persisted, bombarding her with nice stories about how things were looking up after the initial difficulties. He was going back to the US to pack up and return to Ghana. Even though she was married, he would never forget her, and he would fight to get her back. For those sweet words, he was rewarded with some unforgettable nights in a hotel.
He surfaced again some months later, assuring her that he had returned to his job with a big promotion, and pleaded with Gladys to join him. She spent another few days with him at the hotel for the thrill, but she was never going to leave David for him. Simon simply talked too much, and you could never be sure where you stood with him.
But only a few days later, Gladys chased him down to Koforidua, and made a package of demands, threats and promises. First, she informed him that her husband had gotten to know about their relationship, and their marriage was over.
Of course, she blamed Simon for the situation. And since he had been making all kinds of promises, this was the time to fulfil them. She was ready to come and settle with him. She didn’t really believe his sweet words. She knew he hadn’t made much of his life, but she was willing to support him to become a real man.
All he needed to do was stand up and make a decent effort to achieve something. She was offering him all those on one condition. He would claim Sarah as his baby, because she had made that very declaration to David.
After only one moment’s hesitation, he accepted the entire package. Gladys was of course, good looking, resourceful and intelligent. She would take care of all his needs. He didn’t have to worry about food, nor deal with those money-grabbing girls anymore.
He bribed a few relatives to perform the traditional rites, and Gladys moved to Koforidua, where she secured a job as caterer in a technical school. Simon, his new wife Gladys and their baby Sarah started life as a family.
David settled well into the Master’s Degree programme at the University of Hamburg. The seaport city offered many opportunities and attractions to a multilingual student like him.
He started lectures early and closed at one each day. After lunch at the university cafeteria, he rode the bus to the huge harbour, where numerous jobs were on offer. He did two jobs each day, one with a shipping company, and another with a company that exported trucks and heavy duty equipment. He closed at six-thirty, grabbed supper on the way home and, by nine, was comfortably tucked in bed.
He was in great demand due to his ability to speak English, German and French. He was earning good money, and life was hectic but comfortable. But he began to get lonely, especially during weekends when he preferred to work only a few hours. One evening, he wrote a short email to Adoma.
‘Dear Adoma, I hope you are doing well. I am sorry it has taken me so long to write to you. Life has been very busy since I got here. I start lectures quite early, and work in the afternoon. I get home by eight and I am asleep before nine. I can’t believe one year has already gone.
So how is everyone at Aboso? I remember the good days, but I try not to dwell on them, in order not to get homesick. I am grateful for the opportunity to have served in the school.
So what have you been up to? I would like to hear from you regularly, if you don’t mind. Remember you said you have forgiven me my sins, and that we are friends. Please don’t forget to tell me about the naughty things you have been doing. I look forward to hearing from you’.
Adoma was very surprised when David’s name popped up on her phone during morning assembly. Delighted, she slid out to the staff common room and read it. She mentally wrote the reply several times, but she waited till after closing before she keyed in these words:
‘David, it is really good to hear from you. I thought you had forgotten all about me. Many thanks for the thought. I am doing well. My life hasn’t changed much since you left town. The school is doing well. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that you are still well remembered. We won’t forget you for a long time.
I’m afraid I haven’t been able to do any naughty things yet. The closest I got was to have gone out to lunch with a guy at church who had politely told me that he was interested. During the lunch I thanked him for the attention, and told him that I was already in a relationship. Sorry to disappoint you!
Yes, David, I have forgiven you. Now that you have raised the topic again, perhaps I can tell you this. I really cared about you. I was very confident that in the near future you would realise that and ‘raise your game’, having already told me that you wanted us to be seeing each other. Unfortunately, I didn’t notice the other lady coming at you with blinding force and speed. So now you have it. I will certainly like us to keep in touch. One thing, though. Perhaps you should be kind enough to alert me about the presence of ‘opposition forces’. David replied that evening.
‘Adoma, thanks for your reply, which I have read many times. First of all, can you please make sure that no intruder invites you to breakfast or lunch ever again? Secondly, I wish I had learnt about how much you cared for me. For me, that is the main ingredient in a successful relationship. I won’t repeat the mistake. Okay, now I want to hear from you very regularly. I would like to raise my game. I hope to see you in the near future’.
From then, things moved at steady speed, and after the performance of the customary rites, Adoma spent three months with David, a pattern which continued for the five years that he stayed in Germany.
By Ekow de Heer
Attention-Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often mistaken for laziness or indiscipline. In consulting rooms across Accra and in reports from school teachers, the pattern repeats: children who are bright but forgetful, parents who feel helpless, teachers who see incompleteness.
Research is clear-Barkley (2015) and others describe ADHD as a difference in the brain’s regulation of alertness, impulse and working memory, not a lack of effort.
The family’s role begins with structure. Regular sleep, predictable meal and homework times, and a simple visual list (uniform → books → water → corridor) provide the external scaffolding of these children need. Praise what is completed—“You opened the book and wrote the first sentence”-instead of rebuking what is missing.
Schools can help by seating the child front-row and centre, giving short written plus verbal instructions, allowing brief movement breaks, using quiet nonverbal cues and, where possible, grading effort and method as well as neatness. These adjustments reduce conflict and raise submission rates without lowering standards.
Couples and caregivers should share roles: one grounds, one pivots, and both protect rest. Shame-“bad parenting, bad child”-needs replacing with fact: different wiring, needs scaffolding.
Outcomes improve not by promises of perfection but by daily routines, clear limits and warmed connection. One homework slot kept, one instruction chunked, one calm repair after blurting-these small wins shift the family climate and let the child be seen beyond the label.
Resource
• CPAC (award-winning Mental Health and Counselling Facility): 0559850604 / 0551428486
Source: REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI’s insights on special needs support, relationships, and mental health in Ghana. He is a leading mental health professional, lecturer, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, renowned author, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE) – 0551428486 /0559850604.
WEBSITES:
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website
After two weeks of hectic activity up north, I drove to the Tamale airport, parked the car at the Civil Aviation car park as usual, paid the usual parking fee and boarded the plane for Accra.
Over the last two weeks, I had shuffled between three sites where work was close to completion.
One was a seed warehouse, where farmers would come and pick up good quality maize, sorghum and other planting material.
The other was a health facility for new mothers, where they were given basic training on good nutrition and small scale business.
And the third was a set of big boreholes for three farming communities.
The projects usually ran on schedule, but a good deal of time was spent building rapport with the local people, to ensure that they would be well patronised and maintained.
It was great to be working in a situation where one’s work was well appreciated. But it certainly involved a lot of work, and proactivity. And I made sure that I recorded updates online before going to bed in the evening.
When the plane took off, my mind shifted to issues in Accra, the big city. The young guys at my office had done some good work. They had secured five or six houses on a row in a good part of the city, and were close to securing the last.
When we got this property, unusually, Abena greeted them casually, and appeared to be comfortable in the guy’s company.
I was quite disappointed to hear that, because until the last few weeks, it seemed as if Abena and I were heading in a good direction. Apart from the affection I had for her, I liked her family. I decided to take it easy, and allow things to fall in whatever direction.
Normally I would take a taxi to her house from the airport, and pick her up to my place. This time I went to my sisters’ joint, where they sat by me while I enjoyed a drink and a good meal.
“So Little Brother,” Sister Beesiwa said, “what is it we are hearing about our wife-to-be?”
“When did you conclude that she was your wife-to-be? And what have you heard? I’ve only heard a couple of whispers. Ebo and Nana Kwame called to say that they have seen her in the company of—”
“Well said Little Brother,” Sister Baaba said. “By the way, Nana Kwame called an hour ago to ask if you had arrived because he could not reach you. Someone had told him that Jennifer had boasted to someone that she had connected Abena to a wealthy guy who would take care of her.”
I was beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.
“In that case,” Sister Beesiwa said, “you should be glad that Abena is out of your way. She is easily swayed. Anyone who would make a relationship decision based on a friend’s instigation lacks good sense. I hope the guy is as wealthy as they say?”
“Who gets wealthy running a supermarket chain in Ghana?” Sister Baaba said. “Our supermarkets sell mostly imported products. Look at the foreign exchange rate. And remember that Ghanaians buy second-hand shoes and clothes. Supermarkets are not good business here. Perhaps they are showing off that they are wealthy, but in reality they are not doing so well.”
“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.”
She said that David Forson was only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her. And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.
“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. We would be able to sell all five houses to one big corporate customer, and we had already spoken to a property dealer who was trying to find a buyer in order to get a good commission.
That was going to be my biggest break. I had asked the boys to look for a large tract of land on the outskirts of the city where we could develop our own set of buildings, blocks of storey houses and upscale apartments. Things were going according to plan, and I was quietly excited. However, things were not going so well regarding my relationship with Abena.
My buddies Ebo and Nana Kwame had called to say that they met Abena and her friend Jennifer enjoying lunch with a guy, and Ebo believed that Jennifer was ‘promoting’ an affair between Jennifer and the guy. They were of the view that the promotion seemed to be going in the guy’s favour, because only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her.
And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.
“As I’ve already said, I will stop by her place, but I will mind my own business from now. Hey, let’s talk family. How are our parents? And my brothers-in-law? And my nephews and nieces? Why don’t we meet on Sunday? I’m going to drop my bags at my place, and go to see Mama and Dad.”
