Obaa Yaa
Marry her to solve the problem
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WE have known each other since 2018 when she was 16 and I was 19. We have been so close since last year.
When I asked her about her past relationship, she told me she was with a boy who was the same age as she is and the boy was a womaniser, and also he was not serious with the relationship.
She also told me that she never quarreled with the boy and thus, it was distance that kept them apart.
The boy stays in Accra and she stays in Kumasi. Even though she has promised to marry me, my instincts tells me that they still communicate.
I also live in Accra and what is the guarantee that she won’t go back to this boy if he comes back to woo and reconnect with her again?
I love her so much and I don’t want to end this relationship.
Obaa Yaa, my problem now is how do I convince her to stop communicating with the boy in order to be assured that she is mine?
Yaw Manu
Accra south.
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Dear Yaw Manu,
I HAVE a feeling you really love your girlfriend, and indeed you don’t want to lose her.
I personally believe that in order to know your fate about this relationship, you must have a heart to heart talk with your girl about this issues. And if you are bent on marrying her why don’t you go ahead?
In 2018, she was 16 and you were 19. You two are matured now so my advice to you is to marry her if you don’t want anybody to tamper with her.
This is because once she is unmarried, anything can really happen.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
