Obaa Yaa
Marry her to solve the problem
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WE have known each other since 2018 when she was 16 and I was 19. We have been so close since last year.
When I asked her about her past relationship, she told me she was with a boy who was the same age as she is and the boy was a womaniser, and also he was not serious with the relationship.
She also told me that she never quarreled with the boy and thus, it was distance that kept them apart.
The boy stays in Accra and she stays in Kumasi. Even though she has promised to marry me, my instincts tells me that they still communicate.
I also live in Accra and what is the guarantee that she won’t go back to this boy if he comes back to woo and reconnect with her again?
I love her so much and I don’t want to end this relationship.
Obaa Yaa, my problem now is how do I convince her to stop communicating with the boy in order to be assured that she is mine?
Yaw Manu
Accra south.
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Dear Yaw Manu,
I HAVE a feeling you really love your girlfriend, and indeed you don’t want to lose her.
I personally believe that in order to know your fate about this relationship, you must have a heart to heart talk with your girl about this issues. And if you are bent on marrying her why don’t you go ahead?
In 2018, she was 16 and you were 19. You two are matured now so my advice to you is to marry her if you don’t want anybody to tamper with her.
This is because once she is unmarried, anything can really happen.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
