Obaa Yaa
Marriage is not attractive
Dear ObaaYaa,
I grew up in a family of six children in a local community where protection, care and love for one another was the priority.
Though very young, l treasured marriage life and respected couples, especially when l meet them either going to church with their children or going to farm.
Unfortunately, in other communities, the love and desire to wish others well in life and in their fields of endeavours was non-existent. I came across wives who behaved as though they were not married.
These wives normally wait for their husbands to go to work after which they move to their boyfriends to enjoy themselves.
In this new community, l was shocked and rocked to the marrow when l discovered that two wives who were legally married with children indulged in illicit love affairs with other men. What surprised me more was the fact that they did not feel remorse for their actions and the arrogance with which they carried themselves out was much appalling.
These two incidents in Accra made marriage unattractive to me, unclean and impure. This has informed my decision to stay single in order to be free from the troubles and disgrace of marriage.
Do you think my decision is appropriate?
Kofi-Accra.
Dear Kofi,
I think your discovery, though scandalous to many in the community who may be privy to this secret, should not discourage you. This is to give you a glimpse of the sort of immoral acts which persist in society and people are gleefully engaging in it.
I am sure you either grew up with your parents or a guardian whose impeccable marriage lives you should emulate. Do not let the ills in society disturb your plans, but direct your life through the right path and ensure that you pursue it.
Consider the good marriages around you and aspire towards these enviable examples to guide your future.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
