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Make peace with your past — Father Michael Lapsley
It is hard to deal with the trauma of devastating events such as accidents, loss of a loved one, epidemics or even war and ethnic conflict.
Though some people are able to quickly put themselves back on track, the “emotional scar” for others could linger on for life.
However, Father Michael Lapsley, Director of the Institute of Healing of Memories, says individuals, groups and nations must endeavour to make peace with their past and embark on a “journey of recovery,” irrespective of the level of “pain.”
Speaking to The Spectator ahead of the institute’s workshop, in partnership with Action by Christians Against Torture (ACAT) Ghana, he observed that “many people seem to be living normal lives but they still have unfinished business from the past,” hence the need to find possible ways of healing old wounds.
He said it was important for individuals to open up about negative experiences instead of trying on their own to deal with unfortunate real life situations.
“There is always the issue of how to deal with the past; and temptation has been to simply burry and forget the past but the problem is when we try to do that, it never works. The past keeps coming back to bite us. It keeps haunting us in various ways,” he said.
The Healing of Memories workshop scheduled for August 11 to 21, 2021, at Sokode in the Volta Region, seeks to train local facilitators and help participants find solutions to their worst experiences.
Explaining the ‘Healing of Memories’ concept, he emphasised that when people shared their stories in a safe space, they “begin to feel less alone and begin to see that it is possible to live another day and also find meaning in their life.”
Father Michael Lapsley is an Anglican Priest born in New Zealand and trained as a priest in Australia before moving to South Africa. During the days of apartheid racial discrimination, he became a chaplain to Nelson Mandela’s African National Congress and a target of the white supremacy.
In 1990, while in Zimbabwe, he opened a letter that turned out to be a bomb. He lost both hands and one eye. Upon surviving the attack on his life, he established the Institute for the Healing of Memories.
Now, 72, he uses his experience to connect with other persons who have experienced trauma and help them to find healing and to deal with their personal challenges.
His memoir titled “Redeeming the Past: My Journey from Freedom Fighting to Healer” has so far been translated into 12 different languages.
The organisation with footprints in a number of African countries works with prisoners, persons affected by HIV and AIDS, and tackles issues of gender-based violence.
Father Lapsley said the institute was working to “break the cycle that turns victims into victimisers by giving people the chance to deal with what they have inside them.”
He believes there is a link between healing and justice because “the more people heal, the more they are able to participate in struggling for transformative justice.”
The clergyman urged religious groups to create safe environment where people can tell their stories and “earn comfort and encourage from one another.”
By Ernest Nutsugah
Muslims across the country celebrated this year’s Eid-ul-Adha in a colourful and spiritually uplifting atmosphere under the theme, “A Season of Sacrifice, Solidarity and Spiritual Renewal.”
The celebration brought together Muslims from diverse backgrounds in a remarkable display of faith, unity and cultural heritage.
The occasion was marked by special Eid prayers at various designated grounds, the slaughtering of rams in homes for sharing among family members, friends and the less privileged, as well as musical concerts and recreational activities including horse riding.
Leading the celebration was the Chief Imam, Dr Sheikh Osman Sharubutu.
While the national celebration was held at the Black Star Square where President John Dramani Mahama was the Special Guest of Honour, similar gatherings took place at different centres across the capital and other regions of the country.
A visit by The Spectator to some celebration grounds revealed Muslims, both young and old, elegantly dressed in colourful jalabiya and other Islamic attire, reflecting the rich culture and traditions of the Muslim community.
The celebration also portrayed the spirit of religious tolerance and peaceful coexistence in the country, as a number of Christians joined their Muslim counterparts to mark the occasion.
Muslim leaders and government officials used the opportunity to call on the faithful to uphold the teachings of the Holy Quran, renew their spiritual commitment and refrain from acts capable of undermining the peace, unity and security of the nation.
They further urged Ghanaians to continue to live in harmony and support one another for national development.
By Linda Abrefi Wadie
Dear Obaa Yaa,
During Eid-ul- Adha celebration, I decided to spend the weekend at my boyfriend’s place since we were planning towards our marriage.
To my surprise, what keeps me wide awake, restless and frustrated every single time is that he snores loudly like a generator running on full power, and I genuinely cannot get any rest
At a point, I thought it was just a normal thing, but I have realised it is something he does with ease and doesn’t see anything wrong with it.
When he steps out in the morning, I try to get enough sleep because I may not sleep in the evening.
The most annoying thing is that, he always wants to cuddle me. These two things are a no for me and a red flag.
We are about to get married, what should I do?
Enam, Keta.
Dear Enam,
The snoring and constant cuddling are frustrating, but you don’t have to choose between sleep and closeness.
Start with the snoring: check if it’s worse when he sleeps on his back, cut out alcohol before bed, try nasal strips or a humidifier, and see a doctor if he pauses while breathing.
For quick relief, foam earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones help a lot.
Separate blankets, a bigger bed, or sleeping apart on some nights often makes couples rest well and feel closer overall.
Bring this up before the wedding .Tell him you want to wake up next to him for years to come, but sleep deprivation makes you both miserable.
Test earplugs and side-sleeping this weekend, and if it’s still unbearable, bring in a doctor. Good sleep matters more for your marriage than staying glued together all night.
