Obaa Yaa
I’m stuck in between
I am 28 years old and dating a 38-year-old woman. We started off well. The connection was great but as time went on, I realised she was a perfectionist and wanted to be right all the time.
She talks to old friends and sometimes flirts with them but becomes suspicious of any call I receive. She acts like she loves me but I once read a message on her phone where she described me as a ‘small boy” to another person.
My composure towards her has not been the same since I saw the message. Now I am in love with a younger lady who is my age mate but she is not as caring, loving and sexually active as the older woman I am seeing now. It feels like I am stuck in between. What should I do?
Worried Nana Yaw.
Dear Nana Yaw,
You shot yourself in the foot by reading messages on your sugar mummy’s mobile phone. It appears, from your narrative that you are in the relationship because of the sexual gratification you get from your “older woman”.
Examine your current relationship to determine if you really love your sugar mummy. If your responses are negative, you need to re-adjust and define the kind of relationship you want for yourself. Bear in mind that a healthy relationship goes beyond sexual gratification.
Walk out if you are not happy with your sugar mummy and pay more attention to your younger girlfriend and see where the road would lead both of you to.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
