Obaa Yaa
He calls me too much
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 25-year-old lady planning to marry my 29-year-old boyfriend. He has all the qualities I want and we have been together for the past three years. He does his own business and I am a teacher.
My only worry is that he is obsessed with me to the extent that he calls my phone almost every hour. When I don’t answer he will continue to call, at least 50 times in an hour.
I have asked him not to call repeatedly because I get too busy sometimes that I am unable to answer calls. But this doesn’t seem to go down well with him. He tells me he would follow me everywhere I go even after we get married.
He says he can’t do without me and that I would have to stop teaching and manage his personal business after our marriage. I know he loves me but I feel he is being too clingy. Is his behaviour normal? Should I proceed with the marriage?
Worried Serwaa,
Haatso.
Dear Serwaa,
As you rightly said, your fiancé is obsessed with you and that is why he wants to be in touch with you at all times. Although you have been together for long, perhaps he still wants to be certain about your movements, hence his frequent calls.
There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend being overly protective. You should be proud that he is head over heels in love with you. But don’t take it too seriously when he says he will “follow you everywhere” even after you both tie the knot. That could be a joke.
His persistent calls should not be a reason for you to abstain from the marriage. Continue to love him as you both plan your life together. The calls are normal and it should not bother you at all.
Obaa Yaa
Alhaji is older than my father
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been traditionally married to an Alhaji at the instance of my parents at the age of 16 years.
Gladly, he has not had any sexual intercourse with me all this while.
Meanwhile, he funded my education from second cycle to the University where I have a year to graduate.
The idea was that I will finally move in to stay with him as husband and wife after getting my degree.
I will not be able to stand the shame and humiliation from friends if I marry him.
He is rich and caring, I must admit.
Should I agree to marry Alhaji who is few years older than my father?
Adiza,
Nima.
Dear Adiza,
YOU have been married to Alhaji traditionally, so technically you are his wife.
If you feel you don’t want this man, kindly discuss with your parents who gave your hand in marriage.
I must, however, warn that you might not have your way that easily after enjoying all the benefits Alhaji has offered to see you through your education.
The people to blame are your parents. They have put you in this trouble.
Discuss it with them as to how best they can get you out of it. It might mean reimbursing the Alhaji for all he has spent on you.
That may be a huge sum of money you cannot pay and I doubt if Alhaji will take it lightly with you.
Obaa Yaa
They harrass me everyday
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 12-year-old girl. My mother and I just moved to a new area in Accra. For some time now, I have a big problem on my neck.
A group of young men, three of them who I believe are in their early 20s always sit in front of their house and harass me whenever I am on my way back from school.
This is because one of them sent me on an errand and I refused to go.
Since then they have harassed me and also called me names.
One of them has threatened to beat me up if I use that route.
I always plead with my classmates to accompany me home every day because I’m scared of them.
I don’t feel safe when I walk alone.
Esi, Oyarifa.
Dear Esi,
I UNDERSTAND how you feel, especially when it comes to the fact that boys want to team up to bully you.
You always feel insecure because they can harm you.
Kindly tell your mother to lodge a formal complaint to their parent or head of household.
Let your mother make it explicit to the boys and their family that if the harassment and threats do not cease, then the police would be brought in.
