Obaa Yaa
He calls me too much
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 25-year-old lady planning to marry my 29-year-old boyfriend. He has all the qualities I want and we have been together for the past three years. He does his own business and I am a teacher.
My only worry is that he is obsessed with me to the extent that he calls my phone almost every hour. When I don’t answer he will continue to call, at least 50 times in an hour.
I have asked him not to call repeatedly because I get too busy sometimes that I am unable to answer calls. But this doesn’t seem to go down well with him. He tells me he would follow me everywhere I go even after we get married.
He says he can’t do without me and that I would have to stop teaching and manage his personal business after our marriage. I know he loves me but I feel he is being too clingy. Is his behaviour normal? Should I proceed with the marriage?
Worried Serwaa,
Haatso.
Dear Serwaa,
As you rightly said, your fiancé is obsessed with you and that is why he wants to be in touch with you at all times. Although you have been together for long, perhaps he still wants to be certain about your movements, hence his frequent calls.
There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend being overly protective. You should be proud that he is head over heels in love with you. But don’t take it too seriously when he says he will “follow you everywhere” even after you both tie the knot. That could be a joke.
His persistent calls should not be a reason for you to abstain from the marriage. Continue to love him as you both plan your life together. The calls are normal and it should not bother you at all.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
*****************************************************************************************
Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
***************************************************************************************
Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
