Obaa Yaa
Can l question him now?
We have been married for seven years and blessed with two children. Though we are not rich, we can be described as one of the happy couples in town.
A couple of years ago, my husband delayed in coming home after close of work without any plausible explanation.
When l complained, he insisted my concerns had no basis and that l was overly becoming jealous of people who genuinely approached him for business.
Fortunately, the cat was let out of the bag when l had information about his lover and the house of the girlfriend.
Last month, l decided to go to the house when l had information that he had just arrived in the house. True to the information received, l met him in the house eating with the lady.
My husband became confused when he saw me and could not eat the sumptuous meal that had been prepared for him.
Without raising an alarm, l asked him to get ready so that we go home.
He washed his hands and we went home together as though nothing had happened.
The informants called to find out if he had travelled because it has been a long time since they saw him in the area.
Can l question him now?
Vic, Accra.
Dear Vic,
You are well composed and have done what many women cannot do under such a bizarre circumstance without causing confusion and exchanging blows.
I think your plan has worked to perfection and l am convinced your husband has regretted his action. Having been caught in the act, there is no way denying any longer.
He would have been emboldened if you had generated a fight and this would have provided him the opportunity to return in order to appease the lady.
Allow the matter to die a natural death.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
