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 All about marriage

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• Make love work

• Make love work

 It is equally important to consider a few things be­fore choosing a partner like:

Learning from your expe­riences

Ensuring your partner and you have common basics

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Looking for someone who makes you laugh

Never settling for less, and more

What are the things to take care of before getting married?

Marriage is, undoubtedly, one of the biggest commit­ments in life. Every marriage takes people who do enor­mous hard work to make it successful.

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To avoid marriage prob­lems, there are a few things to take care of before get­ting married: understanding what marriage is all about, setting a communication system, sharing a list of things you would not like to compromise on, and so forth. To get more insights on things to take care of be­fore getting married, follow this guide.

What are the questions to ask before marriage?

What were the best parts of your childhood? What’s your love language? What’s your retirement plan? What is the true meaning of mar­riage for you?

It is important to ask questions and explore some important aspects with your partner before you walk down the aisle. This will help you both know each other better and make adjust­ments.

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How to enrich your mar­riage

Honesty, love, communi­cation, compassion, commit­ment, respect, and various other qualities can help you strengthen your marital rela­tionship.

How to have a happy marriage

In order to have a happy marriage, it is important to understand what marriage is, what marriage mean to you, overcoming challenges together and working in uni­son, not against each other.

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It is essential to be op­timistic, express gratitude, share responsibilities, and more.

What is the best marriage advice?

Marriage advice can help couples understand the important aspects of married life, maintain a good rela­tionship, and prepare ahead before troubles rear their ugly heads.

Couples should enter mar­riage with realistic expecta­tions, adopt a problem-solv­ing approach and discuss their wants and needs with each other.

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How can I save my mar­riage from divorce?

A marriage may encounter various problems. However, as the adage goes, ‘It takes two to tango,’ the couple should work on fixing the issues as a team to save the marriage when it’s going downhill.

Looking to fix your unhap­py marriage? Here are three words that can save your marriage from divorce.

What’s the significance of sex in marriage?

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Sexual intimacy can build trust in a relationship, mak­ing it all the more important for a marriage where individ­uals vow to spend their lives with each other.

How to communicate with your spouse about sex

Sexual issues, if not communicated, can build up and get frustrating for the partner. Besides, a sexless marriage can also set an un­healthy relationship pattern, ultimately causing a downfall where each partner or one of them may keep wondering how to communicate with a spouse about sex.

To be continued…

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Relationship

….Tips on adolescent parenting 

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Parenting teens can be challenging. But it can also be a joy. The key is to know how to care for yourself, first and foremost. Before you have children, you might think that parenting will come naturally. And, to some degree, it does. But there are days (and sometimes months and years) when all parents could use some extra support.

Last week we looked at some four simple yet powerful approaches for parenting teens that build strong relationships for the long-run. Here are the remaining two:

4: Keep communication going 

Because we are often busy and distracted, we do not always take the time to really focus on our kids when they’re trying to tell us something. Take advantage of the time you have together. Having dinner together as a family, using car time to talk, or chatting before bed are good ways to stay in daily touch with your teen. Prioritise quality time as well as quantity: Consider having breakfast out on the weekend as a special catch-up time to chat about the week. Or schedule monthly “family meetings” to discuss how things have been going and any conflicts that have arisen. 

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5. Be an empathetic listener

Listening with empathy and caring is one of the most important tips on parenting a teenager. Researchers have shown that people’s brain patterns synchronise when they listen closely to one another and watch each other’s expressions. As a result, the connection between them becomes stronger. Not feeling truly heard can lead to isolation and lack of self-esteem which are the root causes of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Therefore, take listening seriously. It’s not just a way of coping with teenagers; it has an enormous impact on their well-being.

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Relationship

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The price of ‘I do’:  Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2 

She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.

It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”

That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.

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And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.

We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.

What is money honesty?

Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:

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“This is how much I earn.”

“This is how much I owe.”

“This is how I was raised to see money.”

“This is what scares me about money.”

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Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.

Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”

How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol

If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:

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Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.

No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.

Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.

You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.

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Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.

Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.

Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.

Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”

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Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date

Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.

My Final Word

Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.

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Ask your partner:

“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”

“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”

“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”

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If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.

Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.

The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.

You can still insure your marriage today.

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Source:

Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.

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