Obaa Yaa
Age difference is disturbing
Obaa Yaa,
I Am 21 years old and a final year student in the university, while he is 38 doing the mandatory National Service.
We were friends for close to two years when one day, he decided to break the silence between us by leading me to the hostel after l had finished lectures.
Though he proposed to me, he was not prepared to answer certain simple questions l asked him.
With time, he became somehow cold towards me for reasons best known to him.
Having moved with him for a couple of years, l have discovered that he is down to earth, respectful, caring, and helps all manner of people in need, and to the best of my knowledge he will be the right husband for me.
Unfortunately, my friends have a different view that the age difference will not be good for both of us to stay as husband and wife.
According to them, they suspect this gentleman to be married, probably having children and could only be interested in having sex with me.
I am surprised by the views of my colleagues and currently having sleepless nights.
What should l do?
Mary- Takoradi.
Dear Mary,
Love knows no bounds and people should be allowed to marry those they really love and are prepared to spend the rest of their lives with.
However, one of the facts which should guide an individual when choosing a spouse is the difference in age.
A few years age difference will not be too much of a bother, but if the difference is about 10 years and more, then people will raise eyebrows.
I am in my final year in the university. My elder sister has been very supportive after the death of our parents.
My sister has a boyfriend who visits often. Anytime he comes around, she wonders why I don’t entertain him and why I suddenly find an excuse to leave the room. She takes it as me being cold, even jealous, and it angers her more than I can even imagine.
She has no idea about what is going on behind her back. He has asked me out on several occasions and looks at me in a lustful manner.
But my problem is that I never told my sister the real reason I avoid her boyfriend. I have kept my distance, not out of hate for her or for him, but because I carry a secret that would break her heart.
Princess, Tema.
Dear Princess,
Why are you keeping this away from your sister? As long as you continue to live under the same roof with your sister, tell her about her boyfriend’s behaviour.
Have you by any chance confided in any relative? I’ll advise you to open up to someone, at least to take the weight off your shoulder.
Act fast before the situation exacerbates.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 23 years who lives in a compound house around Kasoa in the Central Region. I live with my auntie.
We are not always at home because she spends most of the time at the market due to her business, and I am mostly on campus.
One sunny afternoon, I overheard some tenants talking about another who takes her bath in a basin and throws the water away. We have two big bathrooms, but just because she doesn’t want to scrub, she has refused to bathe there.
Although she is usually not around due to her work as a nurse, it doesn’t warrant her to do as she pleases. We have spoken to the landlord about it, but she seems unconcerned. What should I do?
Beatrice, Accra
Dear Beatrice,
I am surprised that your landlord seems unperturbed.
Have you considered having a conversation with the tenant to find out why she ignores the chores? She does not seem bothered about the kind of perception the other tenants have about her.
Why would a young lady who is a nurse and an advocate for healthy living be this lazy and unconcerned about her surroundings?
No excuse should be tolerated just because she’s a nurse and mostly not around.
