Obaa Yaa
Should I hold on?
I started dating a young lady about four months ago and our relationship seems to be progressing well. I am not someone who is too clingy as l prefer to create enough space for my partner to do what she pleases. But I have noticed a worrying trend in my new girlfriend. She stays up late on her phone anytime she visits me and would text all night.
Her posture prompted me to snoop on her phone and I have ‘intercepted’ her communication with multiple persons which cannot be described as a ‘friendly chat’. I have not confronted her yet but I noticed she had since changed the password to her phone.
Unlike other chat mates on her phone, she replies to my text messages with short and straightforward answers which I sometimes find quite insulting and derogatory. I am beginning to have second thoughts about our relationship but I still want to hold on for a while. Am I making the right decision or should call it to quit?
Worried Mathias, Sakumono
Dear Mathias,
This is the time to give your partner some ‘space’ as you have rightly indicated in your submission. The relationship is still young and perhaps your partner is still considering other options at the moment. Though her conduct may not be too appropriate, you need to ‘withdraw’ from her a bit. Limit how often you check on her and if she truly loves you, she may express concern about your ‘withdrawal’.
Also, draw her attention to her late-night conversations and if she does not show any signs of ending amorous conversations with other people online, then you can equally advise yourself to end the relationship as quickly as possible. Don’t be a beggar for her attention and love in the relationship. Besides, you cannot change a person who is not willing to change.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Thank you for publishing my article with the heading above. I am back to answer your two questions.
Luckily, my in-laws are in their family house whilst we are in our own house. It all started when my husband started building a house.
I didn’t know they disliked me. I’ve always tried to play my role as an in-law.
But upon an attitude they developed, I have stopped.
Now, they come in groups to my house to insult me for no reason. My step daughter who is in Junior High School (JHS) 3 has been turned against me.
Now the girl only visit the house just to disrespect me and return to her aunties.
My husband mostly get angry over his family’s behaviour and exchange words with them sometimes. They insult him in turn, claiming I have cast a spell on him.
They are under the impression that my husband has transferred all the household properties to me, including two cars he has already registered in my name.
The situation is very painful and distressing. We are both worried.
My children are much worried because they can no longer visit the family house.
Obaa, let me hear from you soon, as this man needs to bless the marriage at the church.
Cecilia Antwi,
Mampong
Dear Cecilia,
Thanks for responding to our letter. The situation calls for a family meeting to resolve the issue once and for all.
Make a formal complaint to your family head and let him summon both families for a formal arbitration so that both parties can air their grievances to pave the way for differences to be ironed out.
You may also complain to your pastor to act in concert with the family head to make the summons a more effective one.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I overhead my wife talking to someone on the phone. I still don’t know who that person was but it could be any of her friends.
In her conversation, I overheard her telling someone how lucky the person was. She said “Do you know how much he gives me to keep the home? I am even tired of the marriage.”
These words from my wife shocked me. In her conversation, he insulted me to her friend, describing me as a lazy person.
Our marriage is only two years old and we don’t have a child. I work very hard but I earn little.
When I confronted her, she told me she was just joking and for that matter is not something serious.
I didn’t want to drag it but the more I think of it, the more I get hurt knowing the woman I married doesn’t appreciate my effort.
What hurt me the most was when she said her friend should give her husband to her.
I am lost, I feel she doesn’t need me in her life. How can I forget about this?
Abraham, Takoradi
Dear Abraham,
Have you considered having an open and honest conversation with your wife about how you are feeling?
In my opinion, it is possible that she is not aware of the efforts you are making.
Communication is key in any relationship, and talking things through can help clear up misunderstandings and strengthen your bond.
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