Obaa Yaa
My husband disowns pregnancy
We have been married for seven years and blessed with three children. Two years ago, my husband relocated to Kumasi on postings and he occasionally comes back to the family to spend weekends.
When l informed him that l was pregnant, he asked me of the last time l had my period. After this information, he did not show any sign of annoyance and everything went on smoothly until he left for Kumasi.
Four months into my pregnancy, my husband has become angry under the pretext that since he was in Kumasi per his calculations and not physically present with me, he could not have been responsible for the pregnancy.
He said my pregnancy has confirmed reports he had received from some sources of my association with a certain man in our locality.
He asked that l should pack my belongings from the house for good and leave the children with him.
Despite my explanation that l cannot indulge in extra-marital affairs, he does not want to believe what l tell him.
Can l inform my parents about the current development and the next step to take in order to salvage my reputation?
Ama, Tema.
Dear Ama,
It is unfortunate things have changed in your marriage and a serious allegation is being levelled against you at the time you are pregnant.
From the tone of your letter, your husband has kept the information he had received about you without verifying the truth from you, the wife.
This is a case of mistrust which has emerged and could have been resolved easily by employing the tools of patience, tolerance and being frank in your deliberations.
You have every right to inform your parents who can take this matter up with your husband at their level.
The surest option is to go for a DNA test at the hospital to ascertain the paternity of the child after you have been delivered of the child.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
