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Do Not Think Yourself More or Less Serious in Life Than Anybody
The great people of Ga would say “Joo o Joo”—literally meaning “dance your dance.”
In today’s fast-paced world, it is common to meet people who think and act as though their way of living is the only valid one. They measure seriousness by their own sacrifices, routines, or what they term achievements—and sometimes dismiss others who choose a different path.
But life is not about proving who is more serious. It is about balance: following your individual principles while respecting the universal principles that bind us all together.
Life is both individual and universal
Every human being is on a unique journey. We have different callings, strengths, and seasons. For some, success comes early; for others, it comes later. Neither is more valid than the other.
The Bible reminds us in Ecclesiastes 9:11:
“The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.”
This means life is not determined by effort alone. Timing, circumstances, and God’s grace all play a vital role. What looks “unserious” to you may be someone else’s season of preparation.
Comfort without harm
True seriousness is not about harsh living or denying yourself joy. It is about finding what brings you peace and fulfilment while ensuring it does not harm others.
Paul writes in Romans 14:22:
“Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.”
In other words, live responsibly and without guilt. Jesus Himself said the greatest commandment is to “love your neighbour as yourself.”
A friend may enjoy dressing simply, while another spends on fashion. Neither is less serious than the other—so long as their choices do not harm themselves or others.
Do not bruise another’s ego
One of the quickest ways to wound people is by acting superior—implying that your way of life is more disciplined, spiritual, or important than theirs.
Scripture warns us in Philippians 2:3:
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”
In church, some pray loudly and for long hours, while others pray quietly. Loud prayer is not necessarily more serious. God hears both. Looking down on the quiet one bruises their ego and reveals a lack of humility.
Even Jesus, though Lord of all, humbled Himself to serve. That is the highest model of seriousness—humility, not pride.
A balanced outlook
Life is not a contest of who suffers more, sacrifices more, or works harder. It is about walking faithfully in your calling while respecting the pace of others.
Jesus emphasised this in the parable of the labourers in the vineyard (Matthew 20:1–16). Some workers started early in the morning, others joined later in the day, yet all received the same wage. This shows that reward is not always about effort or hours—it is about God’s grace.
In family life, one sibling may marry young, while another chooses to build a career first. Neither is ahead of the other; they are simply on different paths.
Never think you are more serious in life than anybody. Pride disguised as discipline only blinds us. Life is a mixture of personal choices and universal principles. Live responsibly, enjoy what makes you comfortable without harming others, and above all, never bruise another’s dignity.
As Paul reminds us in Galatians 5:26:
“Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”
On the flip side: low self-esteem
Just as it is improper to think of yourself as more serious or important than others, it is equally dangerous to believe that others are more serious in life than you are.
Many people live with this belief unconsciously, constantly placing others on a higher pedestal. They assume someone else is more deserving, more purposeful, or better suited simply because of status or outward appearance.
This mindset gradually develops into an inferiority complex, producing poor decision-making, disempowered self-expression, and constrained personal growth.
When you constantly measure your worth against others, hesitation, self-doubt, and an unhealthy need for validation take root. Opportunities are missed because you believe others are better positioned or more qualified—even when you are capable.
Gradually, you settle for “low-hanging fruits” when you could achieve much more.
A reality often ignored is that people respond to the respect and value you place on yourself. Across all social interactions, people take cues from how you present yourself.
When you approach life with confidence and self-respect, others recognise your worth. When you undervalue yourself, others may do the same—not always intentionally, but because you may have unconsciously created that ground.
This does not promote arrogance or belittling others. Healthy self-esteem is about recognising your value without diminishing someone else’s.
Conclusion
Life is not a hierarchy where some people are meant to stand above others. It is a shared space where everyone is learning, failing, growing, and evolving in different ways.
Do not place yourself below or above anyone. Take yourself seriously—not by comparing or competing, but by believing that your presence, effort, and perspective matter.
Remember: people will always meet you at the level you choose to stand.
I, Onukpa, always see myself as God’s work in progress.
Email: jerryt353@gmail.com
By Jerry Mac-Eben Thompson (Onukpa)
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Attention-Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often mistaken for laziness or indiscipline. In consulting rooms across Accra and in reports from school teachers, the pattern repeats: children who are bright but forgetful, parents who feel helpless, teachers who see incompleteness.
Research is clear-Barkley (2015) and others describe ADHD as a difference in the brain’s regulation of alertness, impulse and working memory, not a lack of effort.
The family’s role begins with structure. Regular sleep, predictable meal and homework times, and a simple visual list (uniform → books → water → corridor) provide the external scaffolding of these children need. Praise what is completed—“You opened the book and wrote the first sentence”-instead of rebuking what is missing.
Schools can help by seating the child front-row and centre, giving short written plus verbal instructions, allowing brief movement breaks, using quiet nonverbal cues and, where possible, grading effort and method as well as neatness. These adjustments reduce conflict and raise submission rates without lowering standards.
Couples and caregivers should share roles: one grounds, one pivots, and both protect rest. Shame-“bad parenting, bad child”-needs replacing with fact: different wiring, needs scaffolding.
Outcomes improve not by promises of perfection but by daily routines, clear limits and warmed connection. One homework slot kept, one instruction chunked, one calm repair after blurting-these small wins shift the family climate and let the child be seen beyond the label.
Resource
• CPAC (award-winning Mental Health and Counselling Facility): 0559850604 / 0551428486
Source: REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI’s insights on special needs support, relationships, and mental health in Ghana. He is a leading mental health professional, lecturer, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, renowned author, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE) – 0551428486 /0559850604.
WEBSITES:
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website
After two weeks of hectic activity up north, I drove to the Tamale airport, parked the car at the Civil Aviation car park as usual, paid the usual parking fee and boarded the plane for Accra.
Over the last two weeks, I had shuffled between three sites where work was close to completion.
One was a seed warehouse, where farmers would come and pick up good quality maize, sorghum and other planting material.
The other was a health facility for new mothers, where they were given basic training on good nutrition and small scale business.
And the third was a set of big boreholes for three farming communities.
The projects usually ran on schedule, but a good deal of time was spent building rapport with the local people, to ensure that they would be well patronised and maintained.
It was great to be working in a situation where one’s work was well appreciated. But it certainly involved a lot of work, and proactivity. And I made sure that I recorded updates online before going to bed in the evening.
When the plane took off, my mind shifted to issues in Accra, the big city. The young guys at my office had done some good work. They had secured five or six houses on a row in a good part of the city, and were close to securing the last.
When we got this property, unusually, Abena greeted them casually, and appeared to be comfortable in the guy’s company.
I was quite disappointed to hear that, because until the last few weeks, it seemed as if Abena and I were heading in a good direction. Apart from the affection I had for her, I liked her family. I decided to take it easy, and allow things to fall in whatever direction.
Normally I would take a taxi to her house from the airport, and pick her up to my place. This time I went to my sisters’ joint, where they sat by me while I enjoyed a drink and a good meal.
“So Little Brother,” Sister Beesiwa said, “what is it we are hearing about our wife-to-be?”
“When did you conclude that she was your wife-to-be? And what have you heard? I’ve only heard a couple of whispers. Ebo and Nana Kwame called to say that they have seen her in the company of—”
“Well said Little Brother,” Sister Baaba said. “By the way, Nana Kwame called an hour ago to ask if you had arrived because he could not reach you. Someone had told him that Jennifer had boasted to someone that she had connected Abena to a wealthy guy who would take care of her.”
I was beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.
“In that case,” Sister Beesiwa said, “you should be glad that Abena is out of your way. She is easily swayed. Anyone who would make a relationship decision based on a friend’s instigation lacks good sense. I hope the guy is as wealthy as they say?”
“Who gets wealthy running a supermarket chain in Ghana?” Sister Baaba said. “Our supermarkets sell mostly imported products. Look at the foreign exchange rate. And remember that Ghanaians buy second-hand shoes and clothes. Supermarkets are not good business here. Perhaps they are showing off that they are wealthy, but in reality they are not doing so well.”
“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.”
She said that David Forson was only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her. And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.
“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. We would be able to sell all five houses to one big corporate customer, and we had already spoken to a property dealer who was trying to find a buyer in order to get a good commission.
That was going to be my biggest break. I had asked the boys to look for a large tract of land on the outskirts of the city where we could develop our own set of buildings, blocks of storey houses and upscale apartments. Things were going according to plan, and I was quietly excited. However, things were not going so well regarding my relationship with Abena.
My buddies Ebo and Nana Kwame had called to say that they met Abena and her friend Jennifer enjoying lunch with a guy, and Ebo believed that Jennifer was ‘promoting’ an affair between Jennifer and the guy. They were of the view that the promotion seemed to be going in the guy’s favour, because only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her.
And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.
“As I’ve already said, I will stop by her place, but I will mind my own business from now. Hey, let’s talk family. How are our parents? And my brothers-in-law? And my nephews and nieces? Why don’t we meet on Sunday? I’m going to drop my bags at my place, and go to see Mama and Dad.”
